


Joint Allies

by GlazedDounuts



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, Domestic, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Existential Crisis, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friends to Enemies, Friendship, Hate to Love, Heavy Angst, Idiots in Love, Kid Fic, Love/Hate, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other, Platonic Relationships, Romance, Single Parents, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23451586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlazedDounuts/pseuds/GlazedDounuts
Summary: Sehun is a 22-year-old college student, living his best life full of parties, friends, and fun. What he didn't expect was that his ex-highschool sweetheart would drop in unexpected in the middle of the night to announce he has a 4-year-old child, Baekhyun, and makes a run for it. The only person that pops into Sehun's mind to help him is his ex-best friend, Jongin, whom he hasn't spoken to since high school.Sehun's life will never be the same, will he be able to handle it? or crumble under the pressure?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai, Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun, Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 202
Kudos: 284





	1. Rencounters

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wanted to start a new fic, just so I can get into the mojo of writing with a schedule especially with this quarantine going on (plus a way to avoid the heavy coursework from uni lol). Also, I missed interacting with my readers, it's so much fun to see everybody's reactions and opinions! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy, I am trying a new genre and I hope I do a good job.

Sehun had a wonderful night. He felt like a warm fuzzball despite the piercing cold weather entering his body and bones. His friends invited him to go out partying and Sehun wasn’t about to deny free alcohol and games. 

His coat was getting dragged on the carpeted floor as he returns to his apartment to sleep for the night. What made Sehun pause in confusion was that in front of his wooden door sat two people. A woman and a child. 

“Who…who are you?” Sehun asks nearing to the pair. 

The woman looks up bare-faced and nervous, and the moment they made eye contact Sehun remembers those hazel orbs. 

“Mina?” 

She nods at the recognition and stands up with the child cradled in her arms staring at Sehun without a word. 

“Are you going to let me in, Sehun?” Her voice was still soft. 

Sehun blinked in reply trying his best to not ask inappropriate or rude questions as to why she is on his doorstep at this time. And he succeeds because he digs out his apartment keys from his back pocket. He hesitates because this makes no sense to him, closing his eyes for a moment he tries to think of any logical reasons why and how his ex-girlfriend found him. 

When he opens his eyes and glances back, Mina is still standing before him with the child. 

“Okay,” Sehun answers sheepishly, pushing his door open. 

Mina was his high school sweetheart whom he dated for almost two years, and broken up with her prior to graduation a month before. It was inevitable and they both knew it was coming. 

Once they all enter the apartment Sehun takes off his shoes ungracefully and throws his coat on the floor nearby. 

“I’m sorry this is so abrupt, but I needed to see you,” Mina explained suddenly lowering the small child on the floor alongside the large bag in her arm. 

Sehun was a mannered boy, he was raised to treating a woman with respect so the right thing at that moment would be to offer her a seat but Sehun didn’t do that. He didn’t want her to stay longer, he wanted her gone. She was part of a horrible past that he wants to keep hidden and unknown. 

“What do you want Mina? We haven’t seen each other since high school.” 

Sehun doesn’t sit either and instead notices her nervous behavior, he can feel the vast consumption of food and alcohol in his stomach flip. Sehun seemed to understand and realize that this wasn’t normal. 

She smiled again but it was small and forced. “Always direct to the point, aren’t you?”

Sehun can’t believe he let his ex-girlfriend inside of his apartment at 11 at night.

“Mina,” Sehun warned but his voice still soft eyeing the child beside her in confusion unsure of the boy’s presence, was she babysitting.

“This is Oh Baekhyun, he’s 4 years old and is your son,” Mina answered bluntly. Mina rummages through her handbag, pulling out a dense clear file and throws it by the coffee table. “That is the birth certificate and other papers.” 

Everything stills for a moment, Sehun stares at her expression trying to find a sign, some sign, any sign that this was all a big fat joke. But Mina’s expression didn’t change. Sehun doesn’t even dare to look at the direction of the baby boy. 

“He isn’t my kid, just because you gave him my last name.” Sehun spat not touching the file, let alone pick it up. “I don’t know how you found me, but get out while I’m still nice.” 

Mina glares at Sehun with so much resentment that her orbs could be mistaken as an inky abyss. “You think I’m lying?” 

Sehun crosses his arms and shrugs indifferently. “Wouldn’t be the first time for you to lie.”

“I am not a slut!” She hisses heatedly. “You’re the only man that I have had sex with Sehun.” 

Sehun stared at the clear file on the coffee table and can see the birth certificate filled out all but his information left bare and unwritten. But that doesn’t stop the memories from flooding his mind uncoordinatedly. 

It was his friend Minho’s party several months before high school graduation, almost 4 years ago now. Minho’s parents had left for a weekend getaway, with an empty house all alone Minho was left to party. Sehun had drunk way too much that night, and so had Mina. But then again, so had everyone. 

Sehun remembers that night as a series of snapshots. But as the night got longer, the details got blurrier. Himself and Mina had been going strong at the time almost dating for two years, they were the high school sweethearts. He picked her up and together went to the party. 

They danced, they drank, they laughed, they kissed and danced again. The cycle was repeated a few times and by then their kisses were more long and intimate and the alcohol in their system was taking its toll on them. 

Stumbled into a random room, they were giggling messes. Sehun remembers he had a bottle of vodka or something equally strong in one hand and the other was holding Mina’s hand, maybe, he isn’t too sure. Mina stripped off her jacket and took a swing of the drink and they kissed again. 

Everything is more blurry; he knows that it had been the first time for both of them to have sex. Sehun isn’t one for sentimental things so it wasn’t that upsetting for him to not remember his first time the next morning. 

“I’m not here to argue,” Mina sighed running a shaky hand through her hair. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“Why are you here then?” Sehun really hoped she wouldn’t answer him and instead get up and take the kid and leave. 

Mina glanced at the child, Baekhyun, who was watching the exchange. “I need time alone Sehun. I wasted 4 years of my life on our son and I need a break.” 

Sehun stared at her stunned, ‘our son’. He doesn’t understand many things. He doesn’t understand why his ex-girlfriend showed up at his place around midnight with a startling mistake. A mistake that was small with big eyes staring at him. 

“I was kicked out of my house at 18 for being pregnant, Sehun. I got shunned by my own blood, and my friends didn’t want to be my friends anymore. I had to live with my grandma on the condition that I will put him up for adoption when he’s born.” 

“Why didn’t..”Sehun glances at Baekhyun then back at Mina who completed his unfinished question. 

“Why didn’t I have an abortion?” Mina voiced, shaking her head. “I thought about it for days on end, but I couldn’t. Baekhyun is a person who didn’t deserve that treatment. And after you broke up with me out of the blue… I wanted to keep him out of spite too, even though I knew the consequences of becoming a teen mum.” 

“What?” Sehun breathed as if someone knocked the wind out of him. He couldn’t believe this ridiculous excuse that is now haunting them and will haunt them for the rest of their lives. 

“Are you crazy? Because I dumped you? Why didn’t you put him for-for adoption?”

“I wanted to! That was the only condition I had with my grandma, but when I saw his face I couldn’t, I felt like he was the only thing that wouldn’t leave me like everyone else…” Mina looked away trying to blink away her tears. “Now she’s gotten sick of us, she’s letting me stay for a short while until I find a place to stay or give him away…” 

Sehun felt like he was in a third dimension. He looked anywhere but at the pair in front of him, his sight was blurring for a moment, his own thoughts getting ahead of him before he could focus on one. He couldn’t speak, and his breathing was uneven trying to calm himself. 

Silence fills the apartment, it is heavy and burdensome. When Sehun stopped his pacing, he turned and directly stared at Mina’s face. “Why are you here?” 

Mina actually laughs in dry and humorless, flashing him a smile. “I think we both know the answer to that.” 

Sehun was all over the place, his feels were scattered and he felt red. Angry. 

“Why are you here Mina?” His voice thickens and his scowl deepens. 

Sehun watches her brush Baekhyun’s hair tenderly, eventually hoisting him up on her hip. “To live again. I’m going to be gone for a little while, maybe less than a week or so. I trust you, as the father, to care for our child while I’m gone.” 

Sehun glares at her. “He isn’t mine! My name isn’t on the birth certificate!” 

“Your name isn’t in the birth certificate because you weren’t there at the birth registration. I can only put your name down if we were married or you were present.” Mina replied just as heatedly, walking up to Sehun. “If you say that I sleep around again, I will slap you. I’m not a whore.” 

“What do you expect me to say? I’ll be happy to fucking help? I didn’t know about him until 5 minutes ago and you expect me to believe everything you say for the heck of it?” Sehun defended himself. 

Mina lowers the frightened toddler on the ground and sighs. “I’m sorry, okay? We can work this out, I just couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see you..”

Sehun equally frustrated nods his understanding. “I have a whole life created, you need to understand that this is all so sudden and strange.” 

“Can I have a glass of water?” She asks instead and Sehun complies walking over to the partially open kitchen and upon reaching the glass in the cupboard he hears the front door’s auto-lock.

Sehun peeks out of the kitchen and no Mina around, only the 4-year-old staring at the front door wide-eyed.

“Shit!” 

Sehun grabs the confused toddler and yanks his apartment door open. He can see her in the elevator as the doors are closing. Sehun sprits across the hallway barefoot and focused. He can’t do this, the fear in bedded in him is settling on his chest. Slamming his palm against the buttons of the elevator in hopes of it opening but the only thing moving was the numbers above the mental doors. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” Sehun hissed, making a turn to the exit stairs and taking them two at a time unbothered by the child’s frightened whimpers and tight grip around Sehun’s nape. 

He was running as quickly as his long legs could carry him, bolting down the staircase like an Olympic champion at the start gun; quickening his pace to an all-out sprint. Sehun’s heart was beating frantically, all or nothing. 

Upon his feet landing on the ground floor, he pushes open the building’s heavy doors with the cold evening air shocking his throat and lungs as he inhales deeper and faster trying to spot Mina. 

“Mina!” 

He sees her across the street entering a black taxi, helplessly Sehun watches her as the ebony car starts to move away. Sehun stands there barefoot and out of breath with a crying child on his hip. But he makes no sign to move, instead, he stares at the back of the car until it’s a small dot of nothing at the end of the street. 

☾~~~~~☽

Sehun stares at the crying child on the floor, wanting to cry himself. He doesn’t know what to do. The panic starts like a tightening of the chest as if the muscles are trying to not let another breath in. He’s certain that he is shaking badly, his whole body is shaking like ripples from the inside out. Sehun can’t think properly with the loud sobs of the 4-year-old. 

Hastily Sehun approaches him with a shaky smile. “It’s okay, do-don’t cry.”

Baekhyun’s cries increase and it’s making Sehun lose his mind. He squats down and that action alone causes Baekhyun to whimper and shuffle back every time Sehun takes a step closer to him. “Stop crying, please!”

Sehun stands, squeezes his eyes shut trying to concentrate on his breathing and a decent plan for this mess. Having a eureka moment Sehun decided to comfort the child by hugging him which was the only sense he had. Sehun swoops down trying to quieten down his possible illegitimate child but Baekhyun shrieks in horror and ducks out of the way running to the first room he sees which was the laundry room. 

“Fuck, fuck..” Sehun whimpers covering his mouth not wanting to breakdown. He stares at the door where the child disappeared behind. “He needs, um, a..he needs a minute.” 

Sehun’s nerves were frazzled and he needs to calm down and the only solution was to slow the fire in his mind was a glass of alcohol. In a somewhat frantic search through his kitchen cupboards, he finds a bottle of white wine. 

“I’ll take a sip and make the next move.” 

But that, unfortunately, didn’t happen, instead, Sehun kept on taking sips of the straw-yellow beverage while pacing by the laundry room door, unwilling to go inside yet. He needed to tell someone and the only person on his mind was someone he couldn’t speak to. Unless he got immensely drunk, which is exactly what he did. 

“I’m calm, I’m calm…”Sehun chanted out loud in the hope the message will begin to take effect. 

The alcohol was seeping into his drunken pores even further and by then Sehun had made a few decisions in that short period.

He actually poked his head into the laundry room, only to find Baekhyun in the far end with Sehun’s laundry basket over him in an attempt to hide. Every step he took inside of the room, Baekhyun would wince loudly which resulted in Sehun sitting outside by the entrance of the laundry room with the door open. 

It took him half a bottle of white wine to find the courage in him to decide on calling someone, and it took him the other half of the wine and Baekhyun’s heartfelt cries to actually dial the number. 

On the 6th ring, the call connects. 

“Fuck off, Oh.” The husky voice answered coldly.

Sehun bites his tongue, trying to hold the tears that threatened to leave his eyes. “Jongin…”

A lone tear traced down Sehun’s cheek, and just like that the floodgates opened. He began to weep, tears streaming from his red, glassy eyes sliding down his cheeks and rolling off his trembling chin. They wouldn’t stop, his eyes were drowning with them, like rainfall. 

“What's wrong with you?” Jongin asked loudly, it seemed like he was in some party with all of the incoherent voices and music in the background. 

Sehun tries to speak, he really did but the only sounds the came out of his mouth were a jumbled mess of words. 

“I think you got the wrong number,” Jongin’s voice is laced with concern, Sehun trying to focus on the latter’s voice instead of his own misery. “Do you want me to call one of your friends?” 

Sehun shook his head violently, pulling his hand away from his mouth he chokes out. “M-Meet…me at..at my apartm-ment.” 

The white noise in the background of the phone seemed to have lessened and Jongin’s voice was more clear assumably he walked away to a private corner. “What the fuck, Sehun?” 

Sehun hangs up and drops the phone on the floor staring at the beeping device in horror, his vision is so blurry and he can’t focus on anything. His throat seems to tighten and that’s when he falls on the floor in sudden desolate, letting every sob force it’s way out of his body. His chest rising and falling as he gasps for breath, curling further into himself with closed eyes and balled hands. 

Baekhyun who can hear the only adult in the apartment cry in despair, only made him more fearful and alone blubbering at the sight of the man across from him by the doorframe on the floor weeping. Baekhyun just didn’t understand why his mummy left and forgot him. 

☾~~~~~☽

Jongin could only think of the worst when someone from the past like Sehun called him, especially past midnight where darkness was looming over the chilly night. He doesn’t even hesitate to spirt out of the birthday party of a friend of his, the moment he stopped hearing the heavy breathing of Sehun. 

Jongin is thankful he remembers where Sehun’s apartment is located since they had to do a joint project last year, during their shared class of ‘The Fundamentals of Economics.’ in university. It was painfully awkward and tense throughout the two weeks of creating a presentation that had 30% of their final marks. 

Even though he despises Sehun with every fiber in his body, he can’t help but aid someone who used to be important to him. 

His breath came in small huffs, hot and nervous. At his sides, tanned fingers curled into sweaty fists, swinging forward as if it would make him faster. Jongin finally nears the apartment complex and pushes the double doors with all his might, prodding the elevator’s buttons in a haste. He crosses and uncrosses his arms in a worrisome tick, eyes glued to the numbers above waiting for Sehun’s floor number to appear. 

When he hears the ding on floor number 7, Jongin couldn’t be more grateful. He speed-walks towards the end of the hallway eyes focused on the metal number of 32. 

“Sehun? Sehun open the door!” Jongin pounds on the door with his fist. “Sehun!”

Before Sehun could even get up from the floor where he was laying like a drunken mess, the door is forcefully kicked open. He and Baekhyun, who crawled out of the laundry room with Sehun’s desperate bribes of fish biscuits, stare at the sight of a bewildered Jongin. 

Jongin spots Sehun on the ground looking helpless and rushes towards him. He starts to grab and prod at Sehun’s limbs checking if he was okay. 

“What’s wrong? What happened? Sehun answer me!” Jongin shouted.

Sehun could only stare at Jongin’s panicked face, choking out a sob. “I’m ruined.” 

Jongin furrows his brows at the vague response, carefully trying to study Sehun’s expression but all he could find was sorrow and fear imbedded in his bloodshot orbs. Sehun doesn’t give Jongin any further explanation, instead of finding relief at the sight of the tan male. 

Sehun collapses on Jongin, who was on his knees still befuddled by the events, his hands clutching at Jongin’s jacket sobbing into his chest unceasingly. Jongin held him in silence, rocking him slowly as Sehun’s tears soak his chest. 

“What do you mean you’re ruined?” Jongin asks perplexed.

Jongin hears a small sniffle to his right as he is holding Sehun in his arms, he looks to his side and he is startled. Jongin is staring at a small child that has a snotty nose and a handful of fish biscuits in both fists. Baekhyun was wearing the laundry basket on his head with small garments of clothes still attached by its holes. 

It takes a minute for Jongin to actually grasp the situation and to not frighten the child who looks like he might have cried just as much as Sehun, if not more. 

“Who,” Jongin tilts his head a little and squints his eyes at the wary child. “Who are you?” 

The child doesn’t respond instead he stares at Jongin fearfully, darting his eyes at Sehun who has calmed down his hysterical drunk crying into weak breaths. 

Neither the child or the adult were answering Jongin, and he needs to find out an explanation before he fully looses his cool. 

“Can someone answer my questions?” Jongin gritted his teeth.

Sehun has pulled away from Jongin and stared at him with clumped lashes as if he’d been swimming. The words were at his tongue dying for release so Sehun could share this sudden burden on him but he couldn’t do such a thing. He wasn’t in the right state of mind to explain either, after drinking a full bottle of white wine. 

“Oh Baekhyun.” The baby boy answered bravely pointing at his chest to clarify. 

Jongin blinks absorbing the information, and once it sinks in Jongin feels hot red anger bubbling in him. He shoves Sehun off him and stands up in outrage that he has been the fool once again in Sehun’s twisted games. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I ran all the way from my friend’s party to your apartment thinking you got raped or something! I can’t believe I’m still getting played by you again, I really—ugh! You are a piece of work Oh Sehun, a real piece of work. Do you have a kid? You really have outdone yourself this time, fuckface. Let me guess, she dumped him on you and ditched?” Jongin hisses, rage blinding him. 

“Did she say she was going to buy some diapers and come back? And on top of that, you’re hammered, extremely and impeccably drunk. Fuck you, I’ll let karma do its thing.” Jongin seethed venomously, each word stabbing at Sehun a little harder than the one before. 

“Jongin please..” Sehun blubbered trying to stand up but his legs were wobbly feeling the floor shake underneath him. 

“Delete my fucking number.” Jongin snapped, turning on the back of his heel and walked out from the front door with a slam. Leaving Sehun and Baekhyun stare at the man’s righteous outburst gobsmacked. 

The child and man fixated their attention back on each other, both looking like a mess with red mottled skin and pouty quivering lips. Sehun closes his eyes trying to center himself but his mind was like statics covered in fog making it impossible for him to grasp the situation. 

Before Sehun could have another meltdown with Baekhyun as a witness, he hears the front door open and closes harshly and the sound of shoes shuffling by the door and the coat hanger’s post hits against the wall at the force of something. And that something turns out to be Kim Jongin. 

Sehun stares at Jongin who’s now without any shoes and a thick coat, pacing with a defined scowl on his features. Jongin snaps his neck at the pair who are on the floor causing them to flinch and his eyes focus on Sehun’s glassy ones. 

“You are one stupid human specimen.” Jongin states and that was enough for Sehun to leap from the floor ungracefully to hug Jongin but the latter shoves him away so harshly that Sehun actually topples on the couch but manages to catch himself last minute before fully landing. 

“We are not friends. Not one bit.” Jongin thundered, Sehun nodding his head, with repetitive drunken gratitude that someone who is always put together like Jongin will aid him in such a crisis. 

Taking a deep breath, Jongin side-eyes Sehun as if to warn him to remain where he’s located and the latter froze in understanding. Jongin squats down in front of Baekhyun who has pulled the laundry basket over himself completely as if it’s a protective shell that has large holes with dirty laundry hanging off it. 

“My name is Jongin,” He spoke clearly as Baekhyun nodded in acknowledgment. “And I make a really good jam sandwich.” 

Baekhyun slowly lifted his protective basket revealing his tear-stained cheeks and the biscuit crumbs around his mouth. Jongin tries to not cringe in disgust, he just finds children bothersome. 

“The sandwich will taste much better than that,” Jongin nods at the soggy fish biscuits in Baekhyun’s fist in distaste. “Definitely…better than that.” 

Jongin found this whole situation ludicrous, trying to bribe a toddler with a drunken nemesis watching on. He knows that he’s roped in and tied down in this dilemma not that he had a choice to walk out.

Thankfully, Baekhyun did climb out of his basket and stood up. And once he does Jongin realizes that Sehun hasn’t even bothered to take off the child’s thick coat and boots.

“Let me help you with that.” Jongin helped the 4-year-old take off his coat and boots tenderly and placing them in their designated area by the front door. 

“Go and sit by the table,” Jongin orders Sehun, gingerly carrying Baekhyun on his hip which the toddler immediately clung to his dress shirt. “Do you want one too?”

“Me? Y-Yeah..” Sehun nodded. 

Jongin carefully places Baekhyun on the chair across from Sehun trying to not look at Sehun any further because he knows he might turn to violence at the mere sight of the drunken man’s face.

Jongin searches the cupboards for a jam jar or at least a similar spread at this point. 

“There you go,” Jongin places Baekhyun’s sliced strawberry jam sandwich in front of the toddler. “And you, eat it all up.” 

Sehun stares at the sloppy sandwich with an extra layer of two bread slices on top. He glances upwards at Jongin who’s eyes are narrowed like hawks. 

“You need to eat it all because tomorrow is going to be a nightmare, so the least of your worries is a painful headache alright?” Jongin threatens Sehun while standing behind Baekhyun’s tiny frame. 

Sehun is too worn out by his meltdown and is in a drunken state to oppose eating the food on his plate, so he does as he is told with Baekhyun watching him curiously while munching his own sandwich. 

Jongin spotted the clear file by the coffee table and makes his way towards it. Upon closer inspection of it and it’s contents, he realizes this is Baekhyun’s important documents. Wanting to get straight to work on trying to figure out a solution, he has the urge to roll up his sleeves but refrains from doing so. 

Instead, Jongin places the file back on the dinner table and is about to sit down between the estranged father and son only to come up realizing that the toddler had fallen asleep. 

Baekhyun’s sight looks pitiful as his head is tilted back, sticky jam around his parted lips and fingers still holding his half-eaten sandwich. 

Jongin closes his eyes momentarily trying to not punch the other adult, and once he opens them he stares at the wrecked sight of the college student. “How did this happen?” 

Sehun glances at the toddler then back at his ex-best friend. 

“I was out with the guys and when I came back she..she was standing by my front door. Mina. She was screaming about not being a slut, and she had a birth certificate. A-And,” Sehun choked on the sob that was stuck in his throat. “She asked for a glass of w-water…and ran off in a taxi, leaving her kid—“

“Maybe yours too.” Jongin interrupted. 

Sehun shook his head vigorously, not daring to look at Jongin because of the shame and hurt he’s feeling. He just wants to vanish away from all of this. 

“No.” Sehun croaks out, lowering his head on top of his folded arms. “I’m not the dad. I have..college and I am happy with my life. He is going to ruin everything for me. That child isn’t mine, he can’t be mine.” 

Sehun hears a loud scoff, but the drowsiness mixed with the alcohol was taking full effect causing his eyelids to swoop down. 

“You’re a selfish asshole,” Jongin carefully picks up Baekhyun. “If you cared so much about your life, then maybe you should’ve used protection.” 

Jongin slowly places Baekhyun’s unconscious body on the armchair by the living room, tugging the blanket near-by on the child’s small frame covering him fully. When he turns around to continue on his lecture, he spots Sehun passed out his head above his folded arms on the table looking like an utter mess. Jongin never knew God could give him so much patience until this very moment because he has every urge to hurt Sehun until he’s black and blue. 

“Here we go,” Jongin mutters under his breath, picking up Sehun’s deadweight and almost topples over but manages to regain his stance. Half-carrying and half-dragging the new father to the couch he lets Sehun flop on the couch inelegantly. Jongin carefully changes Sehun’s position into a much more comfortable one and moves away to inspect the place. 

The apartment looks like a war-zone with dirty laundry scattered everyone, and trails of fish biscuits were on the floor. Jongin glances at Sehun and scowls, before looking back at the dining table spotting the clear file again. He walks over to it immediately, because this was at the top of his list if he wanted to get rid of Sehun and this mess of his. Thus, Jongin pushes the plates of Baekhyun and Sehun to the side and opens the thick document to inspect with a heavy heart. 

☾~~~~~☽

Jongin wakes up to the sounds of clutter around him, groggily he opens his eyes realizing he must’ve fallen asleep at the table. Looking to his left he sees the child from last night, Baekhyun, chomping on some cereal trying to be as neat as possible with his bird-nest hair and determined eyes. And when Jongin looked to his right he witnesses Sehun with equally messy hair pouring some black coffee into two mugs. 

Sehun notices Jongin is awake as soon as they make eye-contact but neither of them says a word. Everything was just too early and raw. Especially since Sehun was sober now with a hangover and a realization that he called his ex-best friend last night.

So gingerly Sehun slides Jongin the mug of black coffee while sitting down across from Baekhyun. 

After the full effects of last night have hit him when Sehun woke up, he couldn’t believe what has happened. He had been woken up by Baekhyun playing with a toy car from the bag Mina left behind. 

Sehun just stared at Baekhyun, reflecting over last night’s incident and how reckless and quite pathetic he’d been. 

“Why did you call me?” Jongin asked, staring at Sehun with such coldness, that Sehun looked away immediately. 

Sehun knew it was a mistake, but Jongin was the only person in his mind to pop up during his breakdown. Even though he had an abundant amount of friends, none of them can be matched to Jongin and Sehun knew this but would never admit it. Last night’s ordeal was a spur of the moment for both of them because they aren’t friends anymore. 

“I’m sorry..” 

It was a soft but hoarse reply, everything was too early for Sehun. But Jongin didn’t care, he repeated the question his eyes never leaving Sehun’s diverted ones.

Sehun finally looked at him with sorrow swimming in his orbs. “I-I don’t know Jongin…” 

“Not a good enough of an answer, why did you call me?” Jongin pressed and that seemed enough to break Sehun from his silence. 

“Because I knew you would come, you always come!” 

Jongin lets out a humorless laugh, startling Baekhyun from his breakfast. “Why not your pals, eh? Why didn’t you call one of them instead?” 

“I was drunk an-“   
“Bullshit!” 

It’s not! It was a habit of mine to call you, before…what happened.” Sehun suddenly felt defensive. “I’m not the bad person here!” 

Jongin stood up with a forced smirk and tired eyes. “And I am? You’re the one with a 4-year-old kid, who has a runaway mum.” 

“You make it sound like I wanted all of this to happen!” 

Jongin growls in frustration walking towards the coat hanger, his black coffee abandoned. “You keep pulling me into your messes and I get the receiving end of that shitty, shitty stick. I’m not going to play your games anymore.”

Sehun stares at Jongin sliding his feet into his brown shoes roughly, eyes hooded with rage. “Call your real friends to come and help. I’m done.” 

With that final statement and a bang to the front door, Sehun was left alone with Baekhyun again. Baekhyun stared at the door alongside Sehun, until his eyes shifted to Sehun sitting across from him. 

“So…” Sehun watches Baekhyun watch him. “You’re really four years old?” 

Baekhyun knows who this man is. After all, his mother explained to him they will be meeting his daddy and have a nice time. But the part about his mummy disappearing was unknown to him. It wasn’t a first she left Baekhyun in the hands of a stranger for a couple of days, after all. 

“Yeah.” Baekhyun answers shortly, still feeling out of place. “Oh Baekhyun is four and a half.” 

Sehun choked up but didn’t let his tears fall, instead, he nodded giving the child a wobbly smile. He can’t believe this, this must be a bad nightmare. He knows he’ll be a crying mess if he looks at Baekhyun again, so he focuses on the table. 

Only then he notices where Jongin had slept on the table earlier. In Jongin’s vacant spot were the abandoned coffee mug and a pile of documents, different files and sticky notes with Jongin’s handwriting. 

Sehun reaches over and tugs the bundle of sheets towards him lazily, feeling Baekhyun’s gaze on him. 

“Are you my daddy?” Baekhyun’s voice is small and hesitant. 

Sehun didn’t answer immediately, and when he did it was just as small and hesitant as Baekhyun’s. “I’m not sure…” 

Baekhyun stared at him for the longest time and Sehun wipes his damp eyes with his palms. “Can I call you uncle?” 

Sehun eyes were focused on the half-drunken coffee. “How about Sehun..for now?” 

Baekhyun nodded his head in agreement, watching Sehun flip through documents. 

“Shit…” Sehun muttered, sliding further down his chair. 

He is skimming through the important papers, reading and re-reading Jongin’s sticky notes with a heavy heart. As Sehun stares at the birth certificate with the child’s name something slips from beneath it. 

Sehun picks it up carefully, recognizing the handwriting as Jongin’s. 

It was a list. A list including important, unanswered questions and things that Baekhyun could need. Sehun couldn’t be more grateful and guilty all at once. Jongin has yet again helped him when he was feeling lost. 

Sehun finally found a hint, found a lead for him to know where to go next from this tight situation. And it was all thanks to Jongin for his rational thinking. 

“Do you wear diapers only when you sleep or all the time?” Sehun read out loud to Baekhyun. 

“Baekhyunnie’s a big boy.” The 4-year-old replied with pursed lips, slightly offended. 

“What do you eat?”   
“Food.” 

Sehun opened his mouth to explain or retort himself, but instead, he found himself nodding awkwardly. 

“Me too.” 

And that was the end of the conversation. Sehun didn’t want to ask anymore, too afraid of the answers. Too afraid to know more about Baekhyun, because he doesn’t want to get attached to a child that probably is not his. He, in late realization, doesn’t want to cross that bridge. 

He doesn’t want to do this anymore, Jongin’s questions and lists aren’t important. What’s important is Sehun proving that Baekhyun is not his child, not if Baekhyun sleeps with a night light.


	2. Grocery Shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more Sehun centric, but in the next chapters, you will see more of everyone for sure. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Sehun barely pulled himself together by the time he and Baekhyun exited the apartment building. He needed to leave his small home because he couldn’t breathe, it was suffocating him just watching Baekhyun play with himself on the carpet. Too close. 

He was glad that it was still the weekend because this gave him some time to try and do some damage control. He glances down at Baekhyun again, who is occupied with watching all of the buildings, roads, and cars around them. He doesn’t even have Mina’s number. 

“Where are we going?” Baekhyun asks waiting by the crossing road with Sehun. 

“Huh? Grocery shopping. I’m running low on food.” Sehun answers softly, checking the time on his phone. 

Sehun feels a warm, small palm on his colossal one causing him to look down and see Baekhyun holding his hand — barely. Since their height difference would cause either Sehun to slightly crouch or make Baekhyun tiptoe. It happened to be the latter. 

“What are you doing?” Sehun blinked at Baekhyun who furrowed his brows at the question. 

“Holding hands.”  
“Yes, I can see that. Why?” 

“We need to hold hands, so we don’t get hurt.” 

Surprisingly Sehun doesn’t remove the small grip. Instead, he wraps his whole palm around the younger own’s in an effort to secure it more as they cross the road. 

The walk is quiet but Sehun’s mind isn’t. He pulls out his phone again, scrolling through his contact list staring at the names of his best friends. He didn’t call them last night because they were drunk too, they wouldn’t have been able to help. Sehun reasoned, trying to justify his actions with Jongin last night. 

“Do you know where you and your mum live?” Sehun asks trying to not sound desperate. 

Baekhyun shakes his head, they moved a lot and it is hard for him to remember every place. 

A million thoughts are crashing and burning inside of Sehun’s brain, and he can’t seem to hold a useful thoughtfully. Instead, he glances at the small child beside him for distraction, yet again. 

He doesn’t want to interact with Baekhyun at all, but the more tranquil the atmosphere around them is, the more it makes Sehun feel like it is the calm before the storm. The idea of Sehun having an offspring gives him tight knots in his stomach. 

“Are you always this quiet?” Sehun ponders after approving his question as casual, and not at all personal. Just curious. 

“I don’t know.” Baekhyun shrugs softly, his eyes trained on not tripping over his own two feet. 

Upon noticing this, Sehun slows down his pace realizing how tiring it must have been for the toddler to try and catch up to his gangly legs. They enter one of the more populated main streets, and he doesn’t know how to act with a child walking beside him. He doesn’t want random people, let alone students from his college, to assume he is related to Baekhyun because it is simply untrue, it can’t be true. 

Sehun passes by one of his favorite hangout spots reminiscing him and his friends banter just last week and how everything has changed now with Baekhyun entering the picture. However, he pauses and backpedals to the wide glass window in infront of the cafe. There was his four best friends sitting in their usual spot, laughing. 

Baekhyun tiptoes tries to see through the window in curiosity but before he has the chance to look through Sehun tugs him and the pair enter the cafe. Sehun shouldn’t be touchy in regards to his best friends hanging out without him, they probably thought he was still sleeping off his hangover from last night. 

Sehun isn’t sure what possessed him to walk up to their table directly, maybe to prove a point to Jongin or to himself. 

“Guys! Hey!” Sehun greets with a grin and a wave, but their reaction was not what he had expected. They looked taken back by his presence. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Taemin asked, chuckling in shock alongside Kibum. 

Sehun still smiling shrugs. “I was walking and saw you guys, came in to say hi.” 

Minho flashes Sehun a tight smile before looking down at his phone, uninterested. Sehun glances at him before looking at the other three awkwardly. “I didn’t know we were hanging out today.” 

Onew nods his head exchanging looks with Taemin. “Um, yeah, it was a sudden hangout thing, not a big deal right?” 

“Right,” Sehun assures, still standing by their table forgetting Baekhyun’s existence for a moment. “We’re all going to Kihyun’s this week still right?” 

“About that, we didn’t know it was an invite-only kind of thing and him, well…” Taemin trails off, looking at the others for help. 

“He doesn’t know you well enough like us, so.” Kibum shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. 

“That’s okay totally understandable.” Sehun laughs it off, sitting himself down beside Minho casually. 

Then it happened. Minho lifts his eyes from his phone screen and looks directly at Baekhyun who is still standing by their table. 

“Hey kid, are you lost or something?” Minho asks squinting at Baekhyun. 

“No,” Baekhyun answers softly twisting the hem of his jacket as he glances at Sehun for assurance. 

Sehun doesn’t know what to say, instead, he stares at Baekhyun alongside the rest of his friends. 

“Then why are you standing here?” Onew says, and Baekhyun looks down his shoes then back up. “What’s your name then?” 

Baekhyun’s gaze shifts to Sehun once more for direction but Sehun looked like he’d swallowed a stone. “Oh Baek—“

“Do you guys remember Mina?” Sehun cuts him off at the last second. 

“Yeah?” They nod, glancing between the lost child in their eyes and Sehun. 

Sehun starts to laugh forcefully because this is all ridiculous. What is happening to him must be some big joke and he’s the punchline. “You won’t believe what happened, she came last night to my place, right? Then dumps this kid on me, telling me how he’s mine and then runs off.” 

All four of them look back and forth among each other and Sehun. Nobody says a word, and Sehun can’t handle the silence. 

“It’s crazy, right? She must be fucking nuts!” 

“I can’t believe you knocked her up, what the fuck.” Taemin gawked trying to hold back his laugh. 

“He isn’t mine, I’m sure.” Sehun shakes his head, not looking at Baekhyun’s general direction. 

“The boys are going to have a kick when I tell them this.” Minho snorts, typing away on his phone. Sehun’s eyes double in panic. 

“No! I’m not the kid’s dad, I can’t be. Let’s not joke around more.” Sehun lowers Minho’s phone trying to stop his smile from quivering. “He isn’t mine.” 

The cruel laughter erupts loud and mocking, causing Sehun’s throat to tighten by the shame. 

“Not really…It’s not confirmed.” Sehun explained lamely. “I’m like 75% sure he isn’t my kid. He doesn’t look like me. Right?” 

“Damn! You couldn’t keep it in your pants could you?” Taemin snorts, leaning against Kibum in delight. 

“This must be a joke!” Onew clapped his hands in disbelief. 

Baekhyun watches Sehun with glassy eyes laughing along with his friends in an awkward and stiff manner. 

“It’s a crazy joke alright,” Sehun added forcing a laugh because he knew he’d cry if he didn’t smile. ”So..so what are we going to do now guys?” 

“We? What are you talking about?” Onew pauses with raised brows.  
“This is your mess.” Minho declares, peeking at Baekhyun again. 

Sehun’s shoulders slack. “But…we are friends. Best friends.” 

“That doesn’t change anything, Sehun.” Kibum shrugs. “Like it takes two to tango, you know? Like it isn’t my problem so why should I get the consequences of it?” 

“What consequences? We’re friends, why would you say that? We help each other through everything.” Sehun pleads, but it falls on deaf ears. 

“I’m not about to be friends with someone who has a kid. That’ll totally fuck with my reputation and I’m not risking that. I won’t let my reputation get dragged through the mud for you. That shit stays you even after University, like who was with you and what you did.” 

“Yeah, I don’t want to ruin my current and future networks because all those people will remember me by is ‘oh you are friends with a single dad right?’ Not happening, dude.” Taemin explains as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You get that don’t you? Like it’s your mess, so you clean it up. If you think we’ll be coming around to babysit instead of partying and shit, then your wrong.” Minho laughs at the thought. 

The penny has dropped. Sehun knew where he stands in his best friends' lives. He always prioritized them since they were in high school, and even got into the same college to not be separated. They shared many, memorable nights out and thrilling adventures. 

“I told you I don’t even know if it’s mine and you won’t try and help me get to the bottom of it? That is unfair.” Sehun croaks, his world is spinning out of control. 

“What is unfair is that you expect us to do everything for you like you’re always tagging along and shit. Until you sort out if that kid is yours or not, we can’t really hang out any longer.” Minho finalizes taking a sip from his iced coffee. 

Sehun doesn’t reply, he’s been exiled from his friendship group. He stands up mutely and walks away from the people he’s sacrificed the most to. He stands by the corner of the cafe and slowly lowers himself to the ground, his hands holding his head from completely dropping. 

Sehun forgot about Baekhyun’s existence until he feels a small hand stroked his head tenderly. Tilting upwards he sees Baekhyun with the same fatigue that he has, and it tugs Sehun’s heart because this child should not have seen that. He shouldn’t have put him in that situation. 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun whispers under his breath with glassy orbs. 

Baekhyun envelopes Sehun in his tiny arms, and whispers back. “It’s okay.” 

Sehun doesn’t want to admit it but he needed that hug, more than Baekhyun might have thought. Sehun wraps one free arm around Baekhyun’s small body, and they stay like that squatted on the ground just feeding each other comfort.

Baekhyun was glad they left those men back in the cafe, they didn’t seem friendly in the least. Not like the man from last night who made him a sandwich. 

Sehun knew wallowing in self-pity will do him no good, instead, he pulls out his phone and starts dialing. If his closest friends weren’t going to help him sort this mess, maybe his other friends will. He knew he was popular, always has been part of the ‘cool kids’ in his school years so this will be a piece of cake.

Or not. 

The more they walked around the streets, the more Sehun called and got rejected. He knew he was self-advertising that he could be a potential, young father to everyone to gossip about. But his goal was that it wasn’t true, and it could be a funny story to tell in later years, he had to keep his head above water.

They have been walking around aimlessly for a few hours and the sun is beginning to set, and they have still no clear ‘plan’ and no food in their belly. So Sehun opts to stop by a convenience store. 

Sehun points to the indoor seating inside of the store. “Go sit by the table while I get the food.” 

Sehun picks up a basket, he doesn’t think they’ll manage grocery shopping for today so he will just pick the necessities for now. As he goes around the store picking out his food items, he catches himself in the reflection of the glass doors of the drinks. 

“I look like pure shit.” He blurs out, immediately trying to fix his hair into decency. 

He can hear loud chatter and once he glances at the door he realizes its group of friends, probably finished class or work. He can’t help but think over himself and his friends and how they must have looked like that. 

Sehun shakes his head to remove those thoughts and hurried to the cashier. Baekhyun watches Sehun as he pulls out his credit card to pay and he can’t help but notice how sad he looks. 

“Alright, I got a jumbo sausage, an egg and mayo sandwich, and gimbap rolls,” Sehun informs the 4-year-old pulling out the said food onto the table. 

Baekhyun glances at Sehun once more to double-check if he is allowed to each before grabbing the jumbo sausage. “Can you open it?” 

Sehun does as he’s told, handing it back to Baekhyun. “Eat up, okay?” 

Sehun stares at his phone remembering Jongin’s harsh words echoing in his head this morning, but he has no other choice. So he calls Kim Jongin, in hopes that he will answer and hasn’t blocked his number already. 

His phone rings, and rings. On the third call, the line is connected. 

“I thought I told you to not call me?” Jongin scoffs over the line.  
“Yes, I Know—“ Sehun gets cut off abruptly when he hears the line go dead. 

Baekhyun watches Sehun stare at the phone with wide eyes, and he isn’t sure if Sehun is going to cry like his mother when she comes back home during the nights. He just wants his mother back just like Sehun does. 

Sehun glances at Baekhyun watching him with anxiousness, and he can’t let it end here. So he purses his lips and calls Jongin again with closes eyes praying that the latter will answer him. 

Kim Jongin does not answer. He doesn’t answer on the fifth ring, nor on the twelfth. 

“We can sort this out ourselves,” Sehun convinces himself, more than Baekhyun. “We can do this.”

(—————)

Heading home to the apartment was unusual. Sehun was so used to walking back to his apartment complex through the same path every night without company, it was time for himself to reflect. A ritual if you will, to be alone with his own thoughts and emotions, it was his time for himself. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case tonight because another pair of feet were walking beside his. Walking the same grit and stone of the quiet street. 

Today has been nothing but unsuccessful. Sehun felt exhausted in all aspects, and he was certain that Baekhyun might be feeling the same thing since the child was dragging his feet trying to keep up with Sehun’s gangly legs. 

Sehun glances at Baekhyun watching the boy focus on marching beside him dutifully, and it made him wonder. He could get rid of Baekhyun so easily, leave the child and be free again. 

Sehun eyes dart around the vacant pathway then back to Baekhyun’s crown. He has already built a life for himself, and not to mention university — he can’t put everything on the side for some random child. He can’t. Baekhyun isn’t his problem. He surely can’t tell his parents, they would disown him on the spot. 

“What if I just walk away like this?” Sehun whispers under his breath, eyes trained on Baekhyun as he quickens his pace. 

“Walk away from the kid,” Sehun told himself quickening his pace, creating a gap. “Further and further…” 

Baekhyun looks at Sehun’s back and tries to hurry but his speed is no match to Sehun’s. He doesn’t want to cause trouble, because Sehun was nice and brought him warm food so he rushes but it’s not working since Sehun’s back keeps getting smaller and smaller and the gap keeps getting bigger and bigger. 

“He’ll disappear out of my life,” Sehun reasoned with himself quickening his pace, finally unable to hear Baekhyun’s footsteps. “He isn’t my problem.”

Baekhyun’s face when he was crying hysterically under the laundry basket last night flashes-back into his vision and it makes Sehun freeze in his spot. 

“I really left him!” Sehun blurred out, running back to the toddler in panic. 

Sehun spots Baekhyun’s tiny frame, and the big hairy dog in-between them a few seconds later. The 4-year-old looked afraid, with fisted hands and quivering lips. The dog barks aT Baekhyun and that’s when the tears start to roll down his cheeks. 

“Hey!” Sehun shouts at the stray dog, running past it and to Baekhyun’s rescue scooping up the scared child. 

Baekhyun’s arms are tightly wrapped around Sehun’s neck covering his face into Sehun’s nape. The dog was scary looking and Sehun though he can handle the canine until the stray showed his big teeth. 

“Arf!” Sehun yaps back at the canine, who becomes muted for a moment before going wild growling and snarling at them in a sudden rage. 

Sehun didn’t waste time on his next move because he sprinted through the streets cradling a terrified Baekhyun between his arms as the dog chased after them. He runs and runs, not stopping for a moment until he is inside of his apartment complex lobby. 

Out of breath, Sehun slides down the floor with Baekhyun still in his arms as his back hits the wall. 

“D-Don’t go! Baekhyunnie’s sorry! Don’t go!” 

Baekhyun lifts his head, still crying as he gripping Sehun’s t-shirt with his small hands, afraid of being left again. Sehun watches Baekhyun with guilt and realization, he knew he was the cause of this mess.

“I’m not going…” Sehun says softly rubbing Baekhyun’s back in an act of comfort as the child’s cries quieten down. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡
> 
> \--PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA --
> 
> PSA: I don't like to nag at all but I am pouring my energy, focus and time into this story and only to get one-worded comments or no comments at all. (a lot do actually take the time to comment♡)
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. Please comment properly by telling me what you thought, it feels a little u̲n̲f̲a̲i̲r̲ that I post +5K chapters most of the time and s͎t͎i͎l͎l͎ ͎g͎e͎t͎ ͎b͎a͎r͎e͎l͎y͎ ͎a͎n͎y͎ ͎c͎o͎m͎m͎e͎n͎t͎s͎


	3. Stir-Fry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not at all satisfied with this chapter, I think it's dry and lacking. However, I wanted to post something and not be so in my head and get stressed about writing. 
> 
> Uni is still a pain with the finals around the corner, and as soon as I finish my exams I will be editing and making this with so much flavor and overall better structured. However that being said, I love to know what you guys think so please tell me :)
> 
> I'd love to get your feedback guys; what did you like, what you think will happen :) So please do comment, it takes less than a minute.
> 
> Stay safe and indoors.

After the incident, Sehun and Baekhyun are sitting on the couch on opposite ends, and Sehun doesn’t blame little Baekhyun. He sits unable to fathom that he had tried to leave Baekhyun all on his own in the middle of the street, ready to be lost and never found. It was a moment of pure sanity. 

“I can’t believe this is happening to me.” Sehun groaned rubbing his hands over his face, too exhausted. He weighed out his options and none of them seem to be good. 

With his supposed best friends who ditched him at the sight of baby Baekhyun, he thought over his parents and they are a definite no. His father has been trying for the last year or so to find a reason to stop giving Sehun allowance as well as pay for his place, wanting him to have a taste of responsibility and true independence. If his dad finds out, he will most certainly be cut from the family, not just the financial aid, ruining the reputation of the Oh legacy.

He is back to square one. 

Sehun glances at Baekhyun who is still in coat and shoes because he wouldn’t let Sehun touch him. “Listen, I’m sorry alright?” 

Baekhyun turns his back towards Sehun, fiddling with his coat zipper wishing his mother would come back taking him away from this horrid stranger. 

“Kid, I—“ Before Sehun can finish his sentence, the doorbell rings. 

Sehun glances at Baekhyun’s back before heading for the door. What he didn’t expect was for Jongin to be standing there, with a plastic bag filled with food. “J-Jongin?” 

“I needed time to think,” Jongin muttered not looking pleased at all. “I’m here for the kid’s sake solely.” 

Sehun can barely function the words Jongin uttered before hurriedly pulling him before he has a change of heart last minute. “Thank you so much for this! Thank you, thank you!” 

Jongin doesn’t look up as he unties his converses and pulls down his hood revealing his mop of brown curls. Sehun takes a step back giving Jongin some room, as he leans against the wall watching Jongin inspect the apartment for a moment. 

“Mister!” Baekhyun shrieked, climbing down from the couch as he rushed to Jongin who is startled by the vibrant greeting. 

“Hey kid,” Jongin says a little awkwardly squatting down to Baekhyun’s height, before glaring at Sehun momentarily. “You didn’t take off his coat or shoes again?” 

Sehun rubs his nape in silent defeat, he wasn’t going to tell Jongin what happened with the dog and Baekhyun because Jongin might walk right out. “I-um, it’s a long story….thank you again for this but like, uh, what made you change your mind?” 

Jongin is quiet and Sehun thinks he won’t reply, watching his ex-best friend help Baekhyun out of his stuffy coat and shoes as Baekhyun stands obediently. “Because I’m not cruel like you.” 

And the penny dropped. Sehun is so taken back by Jongin’s reply, unable to come up with a decent word. If he could take back what happened between them he would in a second. But he doesn’t think Jongin would be willing to take the chance on being his friend again. After everything, Sehun put him through. 

“And my conscious wouldn’t let me since I found out I couldn’t stop thinking about the kid.” Jongin nods as Baekhyun. “You said your name is Baekhyun right?” 

“Oh Baekhyun.” Baekhyun points to himself, them pokes Jongin’s chest. “Mister.”  
Jongin snorts and points at himself. “Jongin. I’m called Jongin.” 

“Your notes really helped, thanks for that,” Sehun confessed shyly, and Jongin merely shrugged standing up heading straight to the open kitchen with Sehun and Baekhyun hot on is heels like lost kittens. 

“I had time to kill, it’s whatever.” Jongin starts to unload the food he brought before pausing to stare at Sehun. “Did you guys eat dinner? I assumed you guys didn’t eat, I can put these away in—“

“No!” Sehun shakes his head hurriedly. “I mean no, we just had some food from the convenience store for a late lunch. We can eat right Baekhyun?” 

Baekhyun nods his head once shuffling next to Jongin, clutching onto his pant leg not wanting the nice man to leave. Sehun tried to not smile that Baekhyun seemed to be compliant to Sehun, maybe slowly accepting his apology. 

“What did you bring over?” 

“Just some mini sausages and vegetables, it’s a stir-fry.” Jongin shrugs, pushing the bag to Sehun to finish the unpacking. 

Eager to please Sehun unloads swiftly onto the counter, as Jongin scoops up Baekhyun from the ground setting him counter with ease. 

“Get me a bowl,” Jongin orders Sehun, gesturing at the latter not bothering to look at him.

“Are you going to leave too?” Baekhyun’s voice is small, and Jongin feels his heart pang. “Like mummy? I want her back.” 

Not wanting to give Baekhyun any false hope, knowing the child doesn’t deserve the future ache he opts to divert the situation. Thus, Jongin opens up the mini sausage packet holding it out for Baekhyun. 

“Can you be a big boy and help me?” Baekhyun excited to showcase that he is responsible nods his head. “Alright, I need you to put every sausage in here,” Jongin taps at the bowl Sehun provided. “Can you do that?” 

“Yes!” Baekhyun grins, beginning the task with determination. 

Within seconds, Jongin tugs Sehun to the side. “She isn’t coming back, is she?” 

Sehun glances back at the preoccupied 4-year-old and whispers, “I don’t know, she said she needed a break to finally live? Or some bullshit like that. Mina told me she’ll be back after a week or less... maybe.” 

“Have you talked to your parents?” Jongin leans back with crossed arms. 

“I can’t tell them!” Sehun blurs out, “They’ll disown me—“  
“They wouldn’t do that.” 

“They definitely will! Especially dad he’s been trying to find anything on me to cut me off completely, no allowance or trust fund!” 

Jongin rolls his eyes, he should have expected this behavior from Sehun. With a scoff, Jongin turns around and starts to open up the kitchen cupboards trying to find a cutting board. “You’re ungrateful, you know that right?” 

Offended, Sehun’s eyes double at the accusation. “I am not!” 

Jongin pauses to turn to stare at Sehun with a deadpanned expression. “Did you dad buy you this apartment?” 

Sehun feels the heat in the back of his neck begin to creep upwards, so instinctively like a cornered prey, Sehun tries to find an exit. “Buying and renting are two different concepts…” 

Jongin’s eyes narrow like a jaguar, detecting Sehun’s deception. “He paid for it, correct me if I’m wrong.” 

With no comeback, Sehun averts his eyes from Jongin’s sharp gaze. Was he always this difficult to have a conversation with? The micro-aggression was something he didn’t need, he has a lot on his plate with a 4-year-old. 

“I bet you never worked a day in your life,” Jongin tuts cleaning the bell peppers he brought by the sink. “Spending daddy’s money right?”

Sehun glares at Jongin’s back mutely, since when was Jongin this judgmental. 

“A kid is expensive. You know that right?” Jongin says slowly, mocking Sehun as he places the cutting board on the counter with the vegetables on the side. “You’ll have to cut out some of your over-priced coffee trips and other things you do while he’s with you.” 

Sehun peeks at Baekhyun who’s tongue is sticking out in hard concentration still picking out each sausage one by one. 

“Assuming you can’t possibly ask for more money, right? Daddy will take it all away.” Jongin mocks, getting a knife out of the drawers. 

“Not everything has to be compared between us…” Sehun murmurs, leaning against the counter. “I didn’t choose my family, and it’s not fair what you’re saying.” 

Jongin bites his tongue from lashing out because it will do none of them any good. After he left Sehun’s apartment this morning he couldn’t stop thinking over the whole situation. How he still keeps getting pulled into Sehun’s problems. When he saw Baekhyun and Sehun on the floor the night before he knew this was inevitably a mess, and he would have liked nothing more than to pretend he didn’t care or know of the situation. But Jongin reminds himself he’d be a hypocrite if he left Sehun, and he couldn't bare to think over what would happen to little Baekhyun, after all, it isn’t his fault. 

“My parents can’t find out about him,” Sehun’s voice is much lower, exhaustion evident in his posture. “Not until we can figure this out.”

“Did you talk to your friends then?” Jongin asks, eyes focused on the task ahead, dicing the onion. 

Not wanting to further embarrass Sehun stays hum, not wanting to speak of today’s defeat and loss. After all, his friends whom he cared for dearly dropped him at the second they found out he was faulty, a risk to their reputation. 

“Baekhyunnie finished!” The 4-year-old declares showing off the empty bag like some kind of trophy. 

“You did such a good job!” Jongin praised, looking at the bowl filled with the mini sausages in exaggeration earning a laugh from Baekhyun. 

Sulky Sehun eyes the pair unimpressed, muttering to himself. “Suddenly he’s Mr. Nice Popular Guy.” 

“Dice both onions,” Jongin commands Sehun, handing him his knife before picking up Baekhyun and placing him on the ground out of any potential hazards. “Do you have ketchup?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun points with his chin towards the silver fridge trying to not tear up at the stings of the onion. “Ugh, in the—oh god—the fridge.” 

Like a lost puppy Baekhyun follows Jongin around the small kitchen, keeping himself close to the adult. 

“I’m grateful that you agreed to help me out,” Sehun utters solemnly, watching Jongin pause momentarily from pouring some oil into the frying pan. Jongin, however, doesn’t answer, instead, he continues to cook, because he finds it difficult to be in the same space as Sehun, a boy he spends the majority of his childhood with, who is now a stranger. 

Jongin does see the old Sehun before everything changed, cracks of dorkiness and clumsiness, and maybe deep down Jongin wouldn’t mind reminiscing over those memories but he can’t let his guard down again. He starts to put all of the ingredients into the pan and begins stirring, squeezing the ketchup after everything seems to have been cooked mixing the sauce. 

“Can you set the table? It’s done.” Jongin stirs the food once more, making sure everything is covered properly. 

Sehun pulls out the heat mat, bowls and utilities, feeling a pair of small eyes watching his every move. Trying to earn back his good points, he turns to Baekhyun with a wide smile which the child frowns at immediately. “Do you want to help me?” 

“No.” Baekhyun huffs, hiding his face into Jongin’s pants not wanting to interact with the latter. “Baekhyunnie stays with Jonginnie.” 

Jongin looks down at the child trying to hold back a smile. Sehun scoffs organizing the dinner table, trying to not react to the quick betrayal. “I’ll put the water.” 

Placing the pan in the middle of the table finally completing the dish, Jongin picks up Baekhyun and sits him down on the chair beside him with Sehun seated across them. 

“What are you going to do tomorrow, you have classes right?” Jongin asked, scooping food into Baekhyun’s plate. “Careful it’s still a little hot.” 

“Baekhyunnie can eat spicy.” The toddler boasts, stabbing a sausage and proceeds to shove it into his mouth but he spits it out immediately with his tongue sticking out. “Water!” 

Sehun watches Jongin help Baekhyun sip the water, careful to not spill it over himself and he can’t help but feel like utter shit. Jongin has been barely around for 24 hours and he has managed to take care of the child that is supposed to be Sehun’s better than Sehun. No wonder Baekhyun prefers Jongin, Sehun doesn’t blame him. 

“Um, I was thinking of either taking him with me and let him sit outside the lecture or I’d skip…but honestly, I’d rather not skip because I have a lot of absences.” Sehun explains his non-existent plan and he can’t help but wince at how Jongin is staring at him as if he’s a madman. “What?” 

“You can’t leave a toddler unattended, especially not outside of some lecture hall,” Jongin says with evident aggravation, taking a mouthful of the stir-fry. 

“What would you do then?” Sehun retorts, lowering his spoon. “It’s not like I can drop everything and take care of him.” 

“More.” Baekhyun tugs on Jongin’s sleeve, already finishing his portion and Sehun wonders if it was because he was hungry and he didn’t realize or Baekhyun has a big appetite. 

“I wouldn’t leave him that’s for sure,” Jongin argues scooping another spoonful into Baekhyun’s plate. “You realize that—“ 

“No yucky, more sausage,” Baekhyun complains pushing his plate away dissatisfied. “More sausage Jonginnie.” 

Jongin raises his brows in mild amusement. “You have to eat the vegetables, you won’t be tall like me and Sehun if you don’t.” 

Baekhyun pouts and leans back in deep thought. “But more sausage…” 

Unable to hold back Jongin snorts at Baekhyun’s cute antics, giving him a few extra mini sausages. “You’re going to eat all of that?” 

Sehun scoffs at how Jongin shifts his moods quickly, one second he’s cold the next hot. 

“Baekhyunnie is a big boy, yes,” Baekhyun states in a matter-of-fact tone, munching already satisfied with his negotiations. 

“I believe you,” Jongin agrees patting the toddler’s head, before turning his attention to Sehun, his smile vanishing. “Like I was saying, you realize that you are going to be responsible for Baekhyun until Mina comes back right?” 

Sehun shakes his head, not wanting to believe the inevitable. “He. Isn’t. Mine.” 

“You’re joking right?” Jongin squints at him a mixture of pity and fury. “Did you even bother checking the documents? Her pregnancy visits, I double-checked with the timestamp of the party when you told me that night all excited how you just lost your v-card to Mina. It all matches the timeline.” 

“Baekhyun isn’t my fucking kid! I can’t do this shit! I didn’t sign up to be some fucking dad to a kid I didn’t even want or know!” Sehun snaps burying his head into his arms.

His nightmare is coming true, and he just wishes he could wake up from it. His entire life will change forever, and nothing will be back to normal. 

Baekhyun’s spoon drops to the plate causing a loud clang, as he watches Sehun with watery eyes. He hated loud noises, his mummy’s friends were always shouting. “I want my mummy…I want her now. Now! Now!” 

“Well done fuck-face.” Jongin hisses, kicking Sehun in his shin under the table out of spite. “Don’t cry, it’s okay. He’s just being stupid, ignore him.” 

Baekhyun’s tears won’t stop streaming down his cheeks as he wails harder. He wants to go back home, where his mother and toys are like how everything used to be. Jongin immediately scoops the 4-year-old into his arms trying to quieten him down, all the while glaring at Sehun. 

“Baekh-hyunnie’s s-sorry.” The toddler hiccups unsurely, burying his face into Jongin’s nape his small fists gripping onto Jongin’s hood tightly. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jongin assures patting the 4-year-old’s back gently trying to calm him down. 

Sehun feels like crying himself, as he stares at the pair in a daze. Is this how his life is going to be? He isn’t ready to be a father, he isn’t even in his mid-twenties, let alone have and support a child. A living human, that has a mind and a beating heart and emotions and Sehun realizes mid panic he isn’t breathing, but Jongin seems to have caught on too with an alarmed look on his face. 

“Sehun. Listen to me, breathe. In and out,” Jongin rushes to Sehun’s side with Baekhyun still crying on his hip. “Sehun look at me, focus on me alright? In and out, copy what I am doing.” 

As Jongin mimics breathing exercises, Sehun nods along copying the latter. The oxygen is finally entering his bloodstream and Sehun doesn’t feel like his head will explode and he’s secretly grateful that he is still sitting down or he would have most likely collapsed onto the floor. Baekhyun’s crying seems to have subdued, and Sehun’s eyes shift from Jongin to his child’s tear-stained face. 

“I want to go back home. Take Baekhyunnie home. Please.” The 4-year-old pleaded.

“Are you crying?” Jongin asks dumbfound at Sehun’s glassy eyes, and he curses the hour he even bothered to answer Sehun’s phone-call last night. “Why are you crying? Don’t cry—oh God.” 

Sehun lowers his head and covers his eyes trying to quieten the sobs racking his entire frame. He is going to be stuck with Baekhyun his entire life, and Sehun doesn’t have a clue on how to even babysit a small child, let alone raise one. 

“I don’t wanna be a dad.” Sehun blubbers, still hiding his face. “I-I can’t.” 

Jongin steps towards Sehun, wrapping his free arm around Sehun’s shoulders pulling towards his chest as he rubs his back. Sehun immediately wraps his arms around Jongin’s torso, dampening Jongin’s hood. 

And in that moment, with Jongin being clutched on desperately by Baekhyun and Sehun, both afraid of their future and how it will unfold he promised himself he’ll be there. Regardless if he and Sehun aren’t friends, at some point in the past they were more than brothers, and that was enough for him. There is too much history for this to be left and buried. 

He had every right to walk out of the door but he is staying rooted because as much as he’s been hurt by Sehun, he won’t ever cause him that same hurt back. His heart won’t let him, even though Sehun deserves it but Jongin won’t stoop low to his level, he’ll rise above. He’d be a hypocrite if he left, and he is anything but that.

“I’m here.” Jongin murmurs softly. “You aren’t alone, I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡
> 
> \--PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA --
> 
> PSA: I don't like to nag at all but I am pouring my energy, focus, and time into this story and only to get one-worded comments or no comments at all. (a lot do actually take the time to comment♡)
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. Please comment properly by telling me what you thought, it feels a little u̲n̲f̲a̲i̲r̲ that I post +5K chapters most of the time and s͎t͎i͎l͎l͎ ͎g͎e͎t͎ ͎b͎a͎r͎e͎l͎y͎ ͎a͎n͎y͎ ͎c͎o͎m͎m͎e͎n͎t͎s͎


	4. Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope everybody is staying safe and healthy during these times xx 
> 
> I wrote this 5.1K in the span of 2 days, I'm trying to not slack off on my writing because I'm trying to do a writing schedule as well as study for my finals that are in the upcoming weeks. 
> 
> ♡𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤♡  
> ♡𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤♡  
> ♡𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤♡

After the hysteria, everybody was too exhausted. Jongin sat on one side of the couch with Baekhyun passed out on his chest, small fingers clutching Jongin tightly. While Sehun sat on the single arm-chair with his knees pulled up to his chest, his eyes on the coffee table lost in a trance. Their tea that Jongin made earlier has gone cold, but nobody dared to speak. Reality finally seeping in their lives. 

Jongin knew Sehun was finally coming to terms with Baekhyun’s indefinite stay, but Jongin couldn’t let him sit there and wallow in self-pity any longer. He needed to keep moving or they would all eventually drown. 

“What’s your university schedule like tomorrow?” Jongin’s voice is thick but there was no malice in it like before. 

Sehun doesn’t bother lifting his eyes from the coffee table, his voice monotonous. “Two morning classes, 8-10, 10-12.” 

Jongin hums, thinking over his options. He also has classes tomorrow but he rarely skips, unlike Sehun. “I don’t have classes tomorrow my teachers canceled,” Jongin lies, “I can take care of Baekhyun until you finish your lectures, okay?” 

Sehun nods in agreement. Tucking his chin between his knees, the fight has gone out of him. Jongin tries to readjust his position without waking up Baekhyun because his shoulder has gone stiff. 

“When you finish, we can meet at Exodus, it’s a dessert cafe and it’s close to the high-street. I’ll send you the location later.” Jongin sits up with care, so 4-year-old Baekhyun with his tear-stained cheeks won’t wake up. 

Sehun’s eyes shift from the coffee table to Baekhyun, his face solemn. 

“We were walking back over here, and I had such a vindictive thought,” Sehun begins with a hushed voice. “What if I walked away from him in the middle of the street? He would go away a-and I did.” 

Jongin stares at Sehun’s eyes welling up with tears. “I let go of his hand and walked ahead of him, he couldn’t keep up and I-I….” 

Sehun wipes his eyes with his sleeve roughly, trying to swallow back his cry. “I ran back for him because I couldn’t do something like that, but what if I didn’t run back? I’m such a horrible person Jongin. Even you stopped being friends with me.” 

Jongin doesn’t say a single word. He is internally battling between comforting Sehun and attacking him. He could be understanding and try to see the situation from a neutral third party but at the end of the day, he wasn’t. He knew Sehun, and he knew how he used to act. He was used to being at the short end of the stick for Sehun’s doings and Jongin has yet again been dragged into Sehun’s problems because the latter couldn’t handle responsibility, he’s never done. And just like that, a memory they shared resurfaces like a lost bottle on a lonely beach. 

“Do you remember what you told me when we skipped school in junior year and went to the lake?” Jongin utters, locking eyes with Sehun who shakes his head. 

“We went to the lake often..” 

Jongin hums in agreement before looking up at the ceiling, reciting Sehun’s words back to him. “I wish I could live through something, that’d make me different. Nothing happens in this stupid, boring town.” 

And then, Jongin looks at Sehun dead in the eye. “Your wish came true. You’re a single 22-year-old dad with a toddler.” 

(————)

Sehun and Baekhyun were waiting by the university campus for Jongin to arrive. This morning was excruciating for the pair. They were still unfamiliar with one another and Baekhyun seemed to have his guard high around Sehun, not letting him in.

This caused Sehun several issues already, one being washing up. With Mina not bringing Baekhyun any clothing, he couldn’t change the toddler out of the 3-day-old clothes. So, when Sehun tried to help Baekhyun wash up the 4-year-old refused, thrashing out of Sehun’s hold. The only reason that Baekhyun is not screaming and running off is that Sehun promised him that Jongin will be here. 

Sehun spots Jongin walking up to him, cladded in jeans and a sweatshirt. But he was not alone, a lanky male was walking beside him and Sehun immediately panics not wanting to set up the wrong impression. So he picks up Baekhyun who whines but Sehun shushes him. “Jongin is coming, okay?” 

He knows that he has self-advertised his situation yesterday calling up every person he knew and got rejected. But it still made him nervous, he didn’t want to give off a bad vibe from the get-go. 

“Hey. Hi.” Sehun greets, nodding at Jongin and his companion tapping his foot. 

“That’s not how you hold him.” Jongin immediately picks up Baekhyun from Sehun. “And this is Chanyeol, he went to school with us, but graduated a year earlier.” 

Chanyeol is all smiles, shaking Sehun’s palm with great zeal. “Hey! I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Chanyeol like Jongin said.” 

“You’re the guitar guy,” Sehun says a matter-of-fact. “Always used to carry it everywhere you go.” 

Chanyeol bursts into a ray of laughter, before swinging the guitar he has strapped on his back to the front, patting it. “Still am.” 

Sehun nods his head, feeling awkward about last night, his eyes shift from Chanyeol to Jongin’s nervously. “I’m sorry, again, for las—“

“You know where the cafe is right? I dropped you the pin after I left.” Jongin cuts him off abruptly, adjusting Baekhyun on his hip who has wrapped his arms around the elder’s neck. 

“Yeah, I know where it is,” Sehun assures, tugging the hem of his shirt down. 

“I’ll be there by the time you finish your classes, and you got my number,” Jongin says coldly, already taking a step back before swiftly turning his back and beginning to walk off. 

“Nice to meet you, my dude!” Chanyeol salutes Sehun, patting his shoulder before rushing to catch up to Jongin and Baekhyun. 

Sehun stood there feeling helpless once more, knowing last night was a one-off. On Jongin being kind, but he wished it wasn’t. With a heavy heart, he drags his feet to his first lecture, dreading his later meeting with Jongin. 

(—————)

“When you said you hated him, I thought there would be some discretion or something.” Chanyeol comments, patting Baekhyun’s head who immediately turns his head to the other side out of reach. “But no, you legitimately can’t stand the dude.” 

“Do you know when my mummy is coming back?” Baekhyun loud-whispers in Jongin’s ear, not knowing Chanyeol clearly heard him. 

Jongin and Chanyeol exchange looks for a moment before Jongin pausing in his step still carrying the toddler in his arms. “I’m not sure when.” 

Baekhyun opened his mouth but closes again, feeling beat as he wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck resting his chin on the elder’s shoulder with a loud sigh escaping his tiny mouth. His mummy never leaves him in one place for too long, a day or two at the most. And she always calls asking if he ate good, but he didn’t receive any calls.

“I know..” Jongin murmurs, patting the youngster’s back in an act of comfort as they cross the road.

“Did she call you? Maybe you didn’t see.” Baekhyun asks again, lifting his head eyes wide full of hope but Jongin shakes his head with regret. 

“I don’t have her phone number, Baekhyun,” Jongin answers, watching the toddler press his lips together trying to hold his tears back. Baekhyun looks away resting his cheek on Jongin’s shoulder’s fully defeated. 

Chanyeol’s heart hurts at the sight of the lost child, he couldn’t believe the predicament the kid has been put in. Jongin’s voice brings him out of his cloud. 

“—I can’t stand him, it’s like every time I see him I want to punch him.” 

“Then why are you helping him?” Chanyeol asks the million-dollar question, that has given Jongin a sleepless night or two. 

Jongin stays mute for a moment pondering over his reasons. “I’m not sure Yeolie. I don’t know if I’m trying to prove to myself or him that I’m a better person? Or that a kid is involved? Or there is too much history for me to pretend it’s not my problem? Like we’ve been attached at the hip since we were in middle school…” 

Chanyeol runs his hand through his blond strands, before speaking. “Do you think he’d do the same? If you guys swapped situations?” 

Jongin hits Chanyeol’s side out of annoyance. “I wouldn’t need to throw my responsibility at other people, because I’ve never experienced hardship a day in my life.” 

“And yet here you are, complaining and helping what a paradox.” Chanyeol crackles dodging another hit from Jongin. 

“Are we getting closer to the club? You’re irritating me.” Jongin scoffs, eyeing Chanyeol in disdain. 

Chanyeol being a music major in his second year, he found some flexibility in his schedule. But not a whole lot, which required a lot of practice sessions from his end with group and individual evaluations. But he didn’t care too much from the academic perspective to him it was a sheet of paper. Because he is going to be a big star, he knows it — feels it in his bones. But until his big break occurs, he is still a college student who works 3 weekdays in a 24-hour club as a bartender. It pays good and gives him the opportunity to do his weekend music gigs in local pubs and other small establishments. 

“You know I thought you were joking until I saw the kid in his arms,” Chanyeol utters shoving his hands into his back pockets. 

“Do you eat a lot of sausages?” Baekhyun butts in, lifting his head to stare directly at Chanyeol who is startled. 

“Is this some dirty innuendo you taught him?” Chanyeol coughs, hitting his chest at Baekhyun’s serious expression. 

Jongin can’t help but snort, linking the correlation almost immediately. “Your tall and yesterday I was telling him he needs to eat more vegetables instead of sausages to be tall like me or Sehun.” 

Chanyeol narrows his eyes at Jongin trying to detect any lies but Jongin seems to have passed the test. He turns to Baekhyun who is still openly staring at him. “I do like sausages—“ Chanyeol pauses at how hard Jongin laughs, giving him a side glare before continuing. “However, I eat a lot of vegetables like onions, carrots, peppers, tomatoes, y’know the safe types, but things like Brussel sprouts are terrible, and cauliflower is like debatable.” 

Jongin studies Baekhyun’s confused face before leaning closer and whispering. “He said he eats a lot of vegetables and sausages.” 

“Baekhyunnie likes apple.” The 4-year-old nods convinced he has contributed well in the conversation. “Red apples, not yellow.” 

“They are the superior apple, high five.” Chanyeol holds his palm out and Baekhyun after a few seconds of hesitation smacks his small hand with Chanyeol’s, watching the lanky blond pretend he’s been hurt by Baekhyun’s power which causes the toddler to giggle. 

“Woah! You’re like so strong!” Chanyeol holding his wrist in exaggeration. 

Baekhyun looks at Jongin shyly, before smiling wide. “Because Baekhyunnie’s a big boy.” 

“You really are,” Jongin encourages lowering the toddler down to the ground with care. “Do you think you can hold my hand while we are walking? Like a big boy?” 

Baekhyun nods his head eager to show off, as Baekhyun’s hand disappears in Jongin’s large palm holding him firmly. 

Chanyeol holds Jongin’s free hand only to get shrugged off and then flicked on the side of his face. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Trying to show the kid that we are like on the same wavelength,” Chanyeol whines rubbing his face. 

“You guys are on the same wavelength, trust me,” Jongin says dryly, ignoring Chanyeol’s childish grumbles. 

Chanyeol’s club comes into view as they round the corner of the street. 

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Chanyeol asks Jongin, in all seriousness. 

“Don’t worry, you big oaf. Just don’t be late for dinner. “ Jongin chats as they cross the road to get to the club doors. “Minseok almost skinned me alive because you were late.” 

“You didn’t tell me he was cooking!” Chanyeol said defensively. “If I knew I would’ve been back home earlier.” 

Jongin scoffs but the smirk on his lips shows that it was only banter between the pair. Chanyeol and Jongin are not only close friends but roommates. Chanyeol offered Jongin to come and live with him and their other roommate Minseok, for cheaper rent and a place to stay since Jongin was scouting out apartments. 

“Are you calling my cooking bad?” Jongin accuses, before looking down at Baekhyun. “Did you like the food yesterday Baekhyunnie?” 

“Yummy!” Baekhyun supports giving the pair a thumbs up. 

“Can’t hear you, my job is calling meee!” Chanyeol waves him off childishly standing by the club door. “Bye Baekhyunnie!” 

Baekhyun waves at him, with a smile resting his head on Jongin’s leg. 

“Don’t be late!” Jongin warns, pointing at Chanyeol who blows him a kiss and enters the club after greeting the bouncers located outside. 

“Where are we going?” Baekhyun asks shaking Jongin’s hand. 

“We are going to my job, and you can pick whatever cake you like when we get there.” Jongin explains softly. 

He took on an extra shift at his part-time job since he is already skipping class not wanting to waste any more of his day. The owners of the dessert cafe are a sweet elderly couple, who are more than understanding and Jongin counts his blessings every time because of their generosity. 

(—————) 

As Sehun enters his second lecture, he can barely keep his head up. He just wants the ground to rip open and take him. He spots his friends, well ex-friends, in their usual spot and his seat is occupied by another fellow already.

He would have walked up to them and expressed his feelings of being hurt, but they brushed him off yesterday as if he didn’t mean a single thing. As if they didn’t share any memories together, like a complete stranger again. So glumly, he walks past his old group and towards a bare desk with one fellow.

“Hey is this seat taken?” Sehun’s voice is hoarse, as he stares at the guy who shakes his head. “Thanks.” 

After pulling out his note-book and pen, he throws his bag on the floor beneath feel the tight ball in his stomach never really going away. 

His mind gravitates back to Baekhyun. How is he going to take care of a 4-year-old toddler, he can barely manage to keep his head above water. He has no job, and the only income he has is his allowance which he, as usual, blows completely every single month, he has a a hundred or two left in his account. It is a good thing tomorrow is payday and his dad will put down in his account $1500, like usual. 

The professor enters and greets the students and vise versa. 

Sehun opens up his note-book and writes down $1500 dollars in the center of the blank page. He needs to prove to Jongin that he isn’t totally useless, that he can at least add something to their group effort of Baekhyun. With pursed lips, Sehun writes Jongin’s name with question marks surrounding it. He wonders if Jongin is going to stick with him through this or not. Then the thought of Mina never coming back strikes so much fear in him that he straightens his posture.

The least he can do is try to organize something, so during his ‘Business Ethics’ course, Sehun starts to work on his financial situation. 

(—————)

“So you’re babysitting for your archenemy?” Jongdae, who is Jongin’s co-worker in the dessert cafe, asks. 

Jongin gives him a side-eye before pulling the rainbow cake out of the display case. “Can you stop stating the obvious?” 

“I’m just confused, because last week when I asked you if you could let me borrow your laptop you straight up attacked me,” Jongdae mutters grumpily leaning against the counter watching Jongin slice the rainbow cake carefully. “Which makes me wonder on why you couldn’t help me, your dear friend out for a few hours, but you're willing to help your arch—“

“You spilled coffee on my laptop the last you touched it!” Jongin retorts, getting the whipping cream can. 

“I paid for it!” Jongdae complains, getting the fork and tray ready for Baekhyun. 

Jongin scoffs placing the colorful cake on the tray. “You barely paid half of it.” 

“Irrelevant information—Hi, welcome to Exodus how can I help you today?” Jongdae scurries to the register at the sight of a new customer. 

Jongin scoffs at Jongdae’s antiques picking up the tray and as he walks past Jongdae he whispers, “You are not my favorite person today.” 

Jongdae taking the credit card from the customer, whisper shouts at Jongin who has already exited their counter station. “I’m not your favorite person on any day!” 

Baekhyun sat on the table closest to the counter station, for Jongin to keep an easy eye on him. He had given him his phone to watch cartoons with since the toddler had nothing to be entertained by. 

“Here is the rainbow cake you wanted.” Jongin chats lowering the tray in front of the toddler, moving the empty glass of juice to the side. 

Baekhyun’s eyes move back and forth between the cake and Jongin, as he slowly picks up the plastic fork. “Can Jonginnie stay with Baekhyunnie?” 

Jongin blinks glancing back at Jongdae who doesn’t seem swarmed with customers before sitting down. “For a few minutes, I have to get back to work.” 

Satisfied Baekhyun digs into the cake. “Can Jonginnie take Baekhyunnie?” 

“Hm?” Jongin furrows his brows at the child. “Take you where?” 

“With Jonginnie. I want to be with Jonginnie, not Sehun..” Baekhyun explains softly, lowering his eyes to the colorful cake. “I want you.” 

Jongin eyes widen at the statement, he couldn’t possibly take care of a child that isn’t his with an MIA mother and an immature father for starters. And even if he wanted to, his apartment is a tight space with him and his two roommates occupying it. 

“Baek, what’s wrong with staying with your dad?” Jongin asked, leaning closer with his chin on his folded arms on the table. “Sehun isn’t being horrible is he?” 

Jongin knew Sehun might not be the best fit for being a caregiver, but he wasn’t completely hopeless. Baekhyun purses his frost-covered lips displeased with the idea of staying longer. 

“He told me not to call him daddy, or uncle.” Baekhyun trails off, stabbing the red tier of the cake slice. “He told Baekhyunnie to call him Sehun.” 

“Yeah, well he’s dumb.” Jongin rolls his eyes and clicking his tongue. As if the title would take away all the truth. “Is he not nice to you then?” 

Begrudged Baekhyun shakes his head, wondering how long it would take for Sehun to turn mean. All it takes for his mummy to be mean is to drink her wine. 

“Why can’t Baekhyunnie stay with you?” Baekhyun demanded his eyes turning glassy. “I want Jonginnie! You’re nice and make me food!” 

Jongin leans back a sad smile stretched on his lips. He wonders what will make Baekhyun childlikeness, making him realize the world isn’t all that easy and gentle as it might seem. “I just can’t kid. It isn’t my place.” 

“Then-then,” Baekhyun stutters, eyes narrowed deep in thought before looking up at Jongin who sees the resemblance of Sehun’s sharp gaze in the young child. “We go to Jonginnie’s place.” 

Jongin shakes his head and clarifies. “I mean, I’m not your dad. So, I can’t take you.” 

Tears are streaming down Baekhyun’s cheeks but the toddler remains silent and Jongin is alarmed and confused. “I will visit, I promise. I’m not going to leave you.” 

Baekhyun's head drops, staring at his small palms wishing his mother can come back and make all of this go away. “I want my mummy….” 

“You made him cry?” Jongdae gawks, leaning over the counter as Jongin turns to him with such intensity that if looks could kill, Jongdae would be on the floor dead. 

“Why did she leave Baekhyunnie here?” The 4-year-old blubbered. “Mummy said we are visiting daddy! She didn’t say she is going away! I. Want. My. Mummy!” 

“Shit,” Jongin mutters under his breath, picking up the crying child in an instant. He didn’t realize he’ll be dealing with this much tears and distraught in the span of 3 days. 

Jongdae scans the customers who seem t0o preoccupied to look and gawk at them. He immediately runs to the ice-cream machine pulling out a cup and presses the vanilla button, watching the ice-cream fill up the small cup. He looks for the sauces almost dropping the caramel and chocolate as he drizzles them on top. 

“I got ice-cream! You want ice-cream?” Jongdae shrieks, reaching over the counter towards Jongin and Baekhyun but the ice-cream is no longer in his hand but instead on Jongin’s chest and neck. “Oh shit, Jongin, I tripped! I swear you can’t kill me, we are in public. Listen, I’ll make it up—“ 

Baekhyun’s cries have stopped, startled by the food flying. He looks between Jongdae’s panicky face and Jongin’s thunderous scowl. 

“Just get me a towel you uncoordinated imbecile.” Jongin seethed through his teeth and Jongdae doesn’t need to be told twice as he runs to the backroom. 

Baekhyun is silent as he watched Jongin walking into the other side of the counter where the staff work, and take the clumps of ice-cream splattered on his sweatshirt and apron into the trash. 

“Jonginnie needs to change.” Baekhyun informs the adult, as Jongin moves him from his left hip to his right. 

Jongin nods his head, biting his tongue because he doesn’t need to lash out on the child, his target is Jongdae. So mutely, he wipes the few specks on Baekhyun’s sleeve. 

“I got it! Ran it under warm water!” Jongdae cheered, holding the damp towel in his hand as he gives it to Jongin. “Hi, welcome to Exodus Cafe, how can I help you?” 

Jongin lowers Baekhyun on the ground, as he glances at the customer only to realize that it’s Sehun. “I need to talk to Sehun, so can you stay here with Jongdae for a few minutes?” 

Baekhyun’s eyes shift from Jongin to Jongdae before nodding his head. Jongin pats his head before walking out of the work area, and Baekhyun can’t help but feel warmth. 

“That’s Sehun?” Jongdae blurs out staring openly. 

“Look after him, or so god helps me I will thump you,” Jongin demands to point at Jongdae who nods his head vivaciously. 

“Hey.” Sehun greets softly, unsure if Jongin will be cold to him again or warm. 

“You’re early.” Jongin answers instead, gesturing for him to sit at the table Baekhyun occupied previously. 

“Yeah, class finished a little early today.” Sehun flashes him a faint smile and nods. “I didn’t know you worked here.” 

Jongin pauses from dampening the ice-cream stain and quirks his brow up at Sehun unimpressed. “We aren’t friends, that’s kind of the whole point. Not knowing each other.” 

“Yeah, well, we were before but like,” Sehun stammers at Jongin’s directness, his shoulders sag. “Sorry, I was trying to make small talk.” 

“I think we are way past the small talk stage, don’t you think?” Jongin says slowly mocking Sehun. “Anyway, I can’t sit and talk for long because I have work.” 

Sehun rummages through his bag and pulls out his notebook and pen, flipping through the pages. “I was doing some calculations in class today about like how we can budget for Baekhyun—“ 

“Correction, there is no we in budgeting.” Jongin cuts him off sharply, and Sehun avoids eye contact immediately. 

“I meant that it’s just, we are doing this together,” Sehun gestures to the space between them and raises his eyes to meet Jongin’s bravely. “I will be paying for everything, of course, like you said that’s my responsibility but I meant to tell you, erm, that I’ve done some thinking.” 

Jongin tugs the notebook towards him, throwing the towel on his shoulder. “You get $1500 a month? God, you’re spoiled as fuck. Alright, let’s see….not bad.” 

Sehun feels his ego-inflating at the simple compliment, straightening his posture trying to hold back his smile. “Yeah?” 

Jongin hums, scanning the notes with care. “No of course not, this is terrible. You’ve just written down your weekly grocery shopping list and like a few toys and clothes? That’s it? Do you think that is all a kid needs? That is what child care is?” 

Sehun leans back defeated. “You don’t have to be so mean about it! I’m literally trying my best to deal with the situation.” 

“Mean? You think I’m being mean?” Jongin laughs returning to cleaning his ice-cream stain. “I’m not being mean, I’m being realistic. $1500 is barely gonna cover both you and him.”

“This is a first for me, so if you could maybe not be so horrible I think it would make this whole thing easier,” Sehun admits, taking his notebook back only for Jongin to slam his palm on it. 

“All your life you’ve had some designated driver, helping you while you get drunk and high off your face on whatever you want not caring for consequences,” Jongin begins bitterly. “Now, you think I am being mean by saying you have done a shit job at trying to budget your allowance?” 

“I do not have a designated driver or whatever dumb metaphor you’re trying—“ 

“Let me tell you something fuck-face,” Jongin leans close eyes narrowed like a jaguar ready to pounce on his prey. “I am not obligated to be nice to you, not ever. I won’t be sugar-coating anything, if you’ve done a shit job then you’ve done a shit job. Are your feelings hurt?” 

“You are such a dick,” Sehun mutters under his breath, eyes on his lap. 

“You need to find some job, because your $1500 won’t cover shit for you.” Jongin lectures, ignoring Sehun’s hurt-puppy expression. “Write this down, what are you doing?” 

Sehun pulls out a pen hastily not wanting to get scold any further, as he writes down ‘JOB’ on a clean page. “But I won’t have free time if I get a job.” 

“Welcome to the real world dipshit,” Jongin sneers, leaning back on the chair with crossed arms. “Baekhyun is 4 right? So he can’t be enrolled in primary school yet and you have classes. So what do you need to do?” 

“Get a nanny,” Sehun answers diligently but Jongin’s eye-roll tells him he has gotten it wrong. 

“You can’t afford a nanny, you need to find a day-care to take him in fitting your university schedule.” 

“But what about when I get a job? I can’t take him with me or do day-cares do like night-cares? Is that a thing?” Sehun asks furrowing his brows. 

Jongin eyes Sehun up and down in disdain, unsure if the latter is joking or not. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” He mutters, readjusting his position. “Listen I’ll ask one of my friends if they got a weekend job they can hook you up with. I can take care of Baekhyun while you work then because daycare is gonna take up most of your daddy’s money.” 

“Why are you doing this?” Sehun’s voice is wobbly and Jongin wonders if it is the genetics on why Baekhyun tears up so easily. “I wasn’t nice to you, and you are literally saving my life.” 

“Can you stop asking me that? I’m sick of everybody asking the same shit.” Jongin shakes his head. “That is nobody’s business but mine, alright? Do you want me to help you or not?” 

“Yes please, I’m sorry.” Sehun blubbers wiping his tear eyes with his palms. “I wrote day-care and part-time work. I need to get him clothes, Mina didn’t bring any.”

“See you’re getting the hang of this.” Jongin encourages watching Sehun’s smile widen writing down excitedly. “I only have an hour or so left of my shift, we can go shopping then.” 

“How do you know so much about this? Kids?” 

“I used to volunteer at the orphanage? The one you said was uncool, instead, you wanted to hang out with your fake friends all summer.” Jongin exclaims standing up. “Try searching on your phone other child care things. I need to work, I’ll check your list again to tell you if it is dumb or not.” 

Sehun wishes he had gone with Jongin on the volunteer summer program, he was actually excited about it. But none of his other friends wanted to waste their summer working, so he said the same thing to Jongin back in high school. He used to wonder what would happen if he ever ran into Jongin again after their big fight back in senior year. He was shocked, to say the least when he found out he shared his economy class in his first year of university with Jongin and was assigned as a project partner. 

“Do you still volunteer?” Sehun calls out, as Jongin turns around to face him. “Yes, totally forgot, no small talk.” 

“I had to stop a while back because I don’t have as much free time as I did. I go back every now and then thought.” Jongin shrugs walking off. 

Sehun eager to please pulls out his phone already typing into the search engine ‘child-care essentials’ but before he can click on the first link, Jongin is back but he isn’t alone. 

“Baekhyun will sit here with you,” Jongin starts setting the toddler on the chair, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. “You can finish watching your cartoons, okay?” 

Baekhyun nods his head once firmly, already scrolling through the videos as Sehun stares at him awkwardly. The father-son duo never looked more distant and Jongin rolled his eyes at the sight. 

“You can get to know each other if you want,” Jongin informs them casually, his eyes locked with Sehun’s trying to gesture with his chin to Baekhyun. “Asking questions, getting close?” 

It seems like Jongin is going to be the bridge between the pair. 

“Yes,” Sehun agrees, his index finger in the air in exclamation. “What is your favorite color?” 

Baekhyun pout is evident and it does take a few beats of silent but he does answer. A possible olive branch. “Baekhyunnie likes red.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡
> 
> \--PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA PSA --
> 
> PSA: I don't like to nag at all but I am pouring my energy, focus and time into this story and only to get one-worded comments or no comments at all. (a lot do actually take the time to comment♡)
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. Please comment properly by telling me what you thought, it feels a little u̲n̲f̲a̲i̲r̲ that I post +5K chapters most of the time and s͎t͎i͎l͎l͎ ͎g͎e͎t͎ ͎b͎a͎r͎e͎l͎y͎ ͎a͎n͎y͎ ͎c͎o͎m͎m͎e͎n͎t͎s͎


	5. Daycare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to keep this chapter separate from what you guys are about to read for like *pow* emphasis on the dilemma, not rush everything into one long chapter. I feel like that makes its emphasis becomes a little overlooked by the next chapter's fluff y'know? the flavor. ♥3.3K♥ 
> 
> Thank you everybody for taking the time to read my story. I really appreciate it, and it truly warms my heart!! ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS ✰) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. It is a writer's fuel. ❣
> 
> 𝕀'𝕞 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤, 𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜.  
> 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝙸'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔.

Jongin, Sehun, and Baekhyun were currently walking around the high street in search of the day-care Sehun discovered on the internet. It was one of the cheaper ones with regular reviews, but what was important that it was close to the apartment. 

“God, I forgot you’re bad with directions,” Jongin muttered snatching Sehun’s phone from him, scanning the screen. “You always were.” 

Sehun glances at Baekhyun and defensively utters, “Not true.” 

Jongin takes a left, entering a smaller street that looks a little abandoned with all of the boarded-up stores and graffiti. He glances at Sehun who is too busy being openly disgusted by the sight. “Is it called Oasis?” 

“Yeah!” 

Jongin is staring at the said daycare, which seems to be the only thing open and operating in the abandoned side-street. The daycare doesn’t have a sign, it has the daycare’s name painted on the wall in paint, that seemed once upon a time vibrant but now is dull and dirtied. He leans closer to the front window to inspect the center, he sees the play-area filled with kids, a little cramped.

Sehun mimics Jongin looking into the daycare, and he feels uneasy. 

“It doesn’t look like the pictures,” Sehun begins squinting at the place in obvious judgment. “It feels like it has seen y’know life?” 

Jongin rolls his eyes, already knowing the latter’s antics. “Spit it out.” 

“It’s run-down and dingy daycare, that is located in a dirty and quite frankly seedy looking street!” Sehun rants immediately, his arms crossed over his chest, eyeing the entire area in discontent. “Quality over everything, like you expect me and Baekhyun to walk through this—hey!” 

Jongin pushes the door with Baekhyun latched onto his pant leg, like a baby-duck imprinting itself. 

An elderly woman well into her 60’s pauses from speaking to one of the elder kids at the sight of the trio. 

“Hello, can I help you?” Her tone is calm with an air of indifference. 

Jongin yanks Sehun to stand beside him instead of hiding behind. “Yeah, is this the oasis daycare?” 

The elderly woman nods her head once, spotting Baekhyun standing between the two males. “How old is he?” 

Jongin looks at Sehun expectantly, wanting the baby-father to take active participation. Sehun straightens his posture, tugging his t-shirt a little self-consciously. “He’s 4.” 

The old lady runs her manicured hand through her salt-and-pepper hair, her eyes on Jongin and Sehun. 

“You two seem young to have a child, even if he is adopted because of your,” she waves her fingers between them with squinted eyes, trying to figure out the family. “Relationship.” 

Jongin’s eyes widen at the accusation. “What? No, no! He’s the dad, we aren’t a coup—“ 

“Interesting.” She cuts him off, her eyes on Sehun. “So you moved from being a straight man, into a homosexual? What did Tiffany call it? Gay?” 

“Mum!” A lady shrieks, rushing over with paint splattered on her cheek. “I am so sorry!” 

“What! What! It is my first time seeing a homosexual couple!”

“Can you go make some apple slices for snack time?” The younger lady forcefully pushing the elder woman away. “I am so sorry, my mother doesn’t understand the concept of privacy.” 

Jongin and Sehun share a hesitant look before facing the employee. 

“It’s alright.” Jongin nods politely, placing his hand on Baekhyun’s head protectively. “I am assuming you are Tiffany?” 

“Yes, Tiffany Choi and that was my mother, Mrs. Choi,” The young lady couldn’t be much older than Sehun and Jongin themselves. “This is our daycare, Oasis.” 

“I’m Jongin, that’s Sehun and this is Baekhyun.” 

Tiffany squats down to Baekhyun’s height as the toddler presses himself against Jongin even further with cautious eyes. 

“Hello, Baekhyun! My name is Tiffany, how old are?” She smiles gently. 

Sehun remembering that he has a voice and a task to do clears his throat. “He is 4.” 

Tiffany glances at Sehun attentively, catching Jongin rolls his eyes. “4? He’ll be the youngest one here.” 

“I read that daycares take in kids from like when they’re six weeks old,” Sehun asks confused, he doesn’t want to look like an idiot that hasn’t researched properly in front of Jongin. 

Tiffany stands up with a warm smile on her tinted lips. “That’s true, but Oasis is on a smaller scale and we don’t have a lot of staff or the necessary resources for babies, so we take kids from the age of 3 until 13.” 

“Yeah I can see that,” Sehun utters unable to hold back to look of disapproval, but it doesn’t stay long on his face because Jongin reaches over and pinches the young father, hard. “I mean, it’s cozy!” 

“We wanted to ask about the prices and like, the general stuff.” Jongin chats, pretending that they haven’t been reading the reviews and analyzing the few pictures that were available on the internet. The Oasis daycare is the cheapest one with the closest location, so it was a must they get in. 

“Ah yes! Well, we do 40 dollars a day, and unexpected drops which happen more often than you think are 10 dollars an hour.” Tiffany begins unaware of Sehun’s face turning pale at the mention of a new money price. That wasn’t on the web. “We are open every day from 5 A.M. to 7 P.M.” 

“And, we, of course, provide everything for the kids. Meals, nap-time, play-time, and so forth.” Tiffany lists with her fingers, trying to remember if she missed something. 

“Just give us one second.” Sehun flashes her a tight smile before leaning close to Jongin, lowering his voice. 

“$40 every day is like $280 a week, and if-if for the whole month it’s gonna be way over budget! Roughly 1,120 dollars over!” 

“Which is why you’re only going to do weekdays,” Jongin says as a matter-of-fact. “You’ll be working on the weekend, so I take care of him until you finish work. You should consider yourself lucky that your parents pay for your rent.” 

“Then that’s going to be,” Sehun pauses recalculating quickly. “$200 a week for 5 days and a month is gonna be $800? Does that sound reasonable?” 

“It’s still cheap considering the other daycares.” Jongin reminds him, before turning back to Tiffany. “How soon can you take him in?” 

“Starting from tomorrow, but I’d need to know the times for pick-up and drop-off as well as who. And other dietary information. Let me get the form, one second.” Tiffany rushes off in search of the registration paper.

Jongin glances down at Baekhyun, noticing the 4-year-old has been sticking to him like glue. He lowers himself to Baekhyun’s height. “You wanna have a look around? Do you like the place?” 

Baekhyun shakes his head, stepping closer to Jongin and wraps his arms around the elder’s neck. Jongin freezes at the sudden hug, looking up at Sehun who is looking around at the place in mild disgust.

Jongin picks Baekhyun up with care, propping him on his hip, seeing Tiffany approach them. 

“Baekhyunnie, my back hurts do you think you can let Sehun carry you?” Jongin doesn’t wait for an answer, placing Baekhyun in Sehun’s arms. 

“I want Jonginnie..” Baekhyun pouts but surprisingly he doesn’t fuss in Sehun’s arms evidently the long day with no rest, has worn him out. Jongin sees it as an improvement. 

“I need to fill in the f-form…” Sehun explains, trying to adjust his grip on his child, holding Baekhyun towards Jongin at an arm's length. 

“You need to get used to carrying him if he’s tired or whatever,” Jongin scolds placing Sehun’s arms in the correct form to support the 4-year-old’s weight and comfort. “I’ll write, while you speak.” 

“Alright, here we are.” Tiffany arrives waving her pen and clipboard, unsure of who to hand it to. 

Jongin takes the clipboard and pen from her with a polite smile and starts to read the questions, as Sehun answers them skillfully impressing Jongin. Jongin knew he can fill in the form without asking Sehun every little thing, but Sehun is the father at the end of the day and he wants him to understand the weight of the responsibility and make him realize that. 

“Name and age?”  
“Oh Baekhyun and he’s 4.”

“4 and a half.” Baekhyun corrects softly, resting his head on Sehun’s shoulder and the father felt pride swell up inside. 

“What’s the home address?”   
“Sajik-to road, Building 12, Floor 7, apartment 32.” 

“Okay, what’s the mother’s occupation and number—wait, oh,” Jongin pauses, realizing his mistake too absorbed in his task. “I guess,—“

“My apologies! You can cross out the word ‘mother’ and just write ‘Father #1’ and, actually,” Tiffany takes the pen out of Jongin’s hand and crosses the mother’s title and places (Father #1) and (Father #2) before handing the pen back to Jongin. “We don’t have a lot of same-sex couples, well you’re the first, and I was going to print a more neutral form but I keep forgetting. Sorry again.” 

Jongin opens his mouth ready to explain that he and Sehun are not together, hating the pre-assumed affiliation but Sehun is faster.

“Jongin can you write that I’m a student and part-timer? I can add more than one occupation, yes?” Sehun asks Tiffany who nods enthusiastically, the pair oblivious to Jongin’s pinched expression. 

Sehun and Jongin fill in the remainder of the form with no more bumps, handing the form back to the daycare employee.

“We’ll pay for the month tomorrow, is that okay?” Sehun explains, slowly gaining confidence and taking initiative as Jongin had wanted him. 

“Great! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, Baekhyun!” Tiffany raises his hand for a high-five from the toddler and Baekhyun gives it to her reluctantly. 

“Thank you.” Sehun and Jongin express side by side, as they exit the daycare center. 

Baekhyun doesn’t waste time to start squirming in Sehun’s arms. “Down. I want down.” 

“Oh sure.” Sehun lowers the child as if he’s some fragile glass and Baekhyun starts to fuss with his puffy coat causing the adults to look at him in confusion. “Jongin what is he doing? ” 

Jongin gives Sehun a side-eye, gesturing to the parent to ask Baekhyun. “Go on..” 

Sehun’s eyes shift from Jongin to Baekhyun before begrudgingly squatting down to Baekhyun’s height. “What are you doing?” 

“Baekhyunnie’s hot. I want coat off.” 

Jongin hums in agreement, moving his own sweater trying to cool himself from the heat. Sehun turns to Jongin waiting for the next set of instructions and it took every fiber of Jongin’s being to not shove Sehun on the ground with his foot. 

“Well, then bloody help him!” Jongin snapped, “How the fuck have you not died yet? With your pea size of a brain, you dumb shit goblin!” 

Baekhyun and Sehun stare at Jongin in a state of shock at how he lost his temper easily. Sehun reaches for Baekhyun’s clothing immediately, tugging the stuck zipper down a little forcefully because he can feel Jongin’s intense glare on him. 

“Jonginnie said a bad word.” Baekhyun points at the adult with a frown, and Sehun lowers the toddler’s arm afraid that Jongin might kill the pair of them. 

“Well, four bad words..” Sehun whispers to Baekhyun, finally getting the coat to unzip completely. 

Jongin scoffs leaning against the wall with evident irritation. It was difficult for him. The problem was that not only is he helping the person he hates the most, but it happens to be Sehun. He hates it. He hates being in close approximation with him, hates how dependent the latter is and how much life seems to keep going swimmingly for him no matter what life throws at him, while Jongin struggles with no help. 

“It’s bullshit, you know that right?” Jongin rants too blinded by envy and rage to censor himself around Baekhyun. “How the hell do you manage to find a decent daycare right by your place without any problems in the span of a few hours?” 

But the truth was that Jongin didn’t care, he was too worked up over the daycare assuming they were an item. A couple. He hated the mere thought of them having any association. He hated how Sehun disregarded the comments with nonchalant-ness. 

“It’s not fair! Everything goes your way, doesn’t it? Charming lucky Sehun who gets everything handed to him.” Jongin hisses pushing himself off the wall. 

“Jongin I don’t know what you want me to say…” Sehun answers him quietly, his eyes trained on the gritty floor.

“Whatever.” Jongin hates him, hates how lucky Sehun is no matter the circumstance. “Carry his coat, come on Baekhyun.” 

Jongin reaches out to the toddler’s hand but Baekhyun swipes his palm away with determined eyes and furrowed brows. “No. Jonginnie is being mean to Sehun, say sorry.” 

“Say what?” Jongin repeats taken back by Baekhyun’s sudden alliance with Sehun. 

“You made Sehun sad, say sorry,” Baekhyun explains simply, poking Sehun’s cheek. “Look, he is not smiling.” 

Sehun is startled by Baekhyun’s sudden care and the fact that the baby boy is doing it on his own record. He understands Jongin’s rage towards him and he will never defend himself because he was in the wrong and he did use Jongin and still is. His chest tightens at the resemblance of the past and present colliding. 

“No it’s fine Baekhyun,” Sehun laughs nervously, standing up and forcing a smile on his lips. “See, I’m not sad or anything.” 

Baekhyun crosses his arms over his chest, holding his stance. “No. You’re smiling like mummy when she is pretending she didn’t cry.” 

Sehun stills at the information, wondering how many times must have Baekhyun witnessed Mina in that state. How much hurt he must have felt, watching his mother distressed. 

“I’m sorry.” Jongin grits through his teeth, holding his hand out for Baekhyun to hold. “Can we go now?” 

Baekhyun pushes his lips out in thought, deliberating whether or not Jongin’s apology is enough. He isn’t a big fan of Sehun, but Baekhyun is a sweetheart who doesn’t like conflict or hurt feelings. So he holds Sehun’s hand and Jongin’s, being the link between the adults. 

Jongin needs to get himself under control, he can’t keep loosing his composure at every little thing that involves Sehun. He’ll look inadequate compared to Sehun, not good enough. 

“How much money do you have left?” Jongin breaks the silence, looking straight ahead. 

Sehun furrows his brows. “Give or take about $150? Dad transfers my allowance tomorrow.” 

“We can work with $150,” Jongin talks to himself before glancing down at Baekhyun and swings their hands back and forth lightly watching the toddler look up grinning at their sudden game. Jongin knows he had no right to speak the way he did in front of the 4-year-old and the guilt set in his chest like a cement. 

“Baekhyun needs clothes, so we’ll go shopping,” Jongin confirms, side-eyeing Sehun who nods with obedience not wanting to tip Jongin again into a pit of rage. 

“Then downtown is the best spot? The prices aren’t crazy expensive.” Sehun suggests with evident hesitation. 

“At least you’re using your head.” Jongin grunts, still irritated. 

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me, but I’m sorry. Can you not be mad at me?” Sehun blurs out. He preferred it when Jongin wasn’t so on his guard like last night at his apartment when he wasn’t being mean to him; rubbing salt on his fresh wounds. 

“Baekhyunnie we’re going to get new clothes, are you excited?” Jongin ignores Sehun’s entire existence as if the young father hasn’t even breathed a word. 

“Baekhyunnie can get new shoes? Really?” The 4-year-old asks his eyes sparkling shifting from one adult to the other, with a wide smile. 

Sehun can’t help but smile at how cute Baekhyun is being. “Yeah! We can get them in red! If you want to!” 

“Yes! Red shoes!” Baekhyun shrieks in excitement, his face glowing. 

“Yeah, yeah! We’ll even get a red toy car!” Sehun chats enthusiastically, finally getting a warm reaction from the toddler. 

Jongin turns to Sehun his eyes narrowed like a viper ready to strike, but he keeps quiet letting him have his moment with Baekhyun. Sehun shouldn’t give Baekhyun false hope about red shoes, what would he know if they can find red shoes or not, Jongin thought. After all, it was Sehun’s forte at fake promises that Jongin fell for every single time. 

“I’m trying to do everything you asked, so why are you angry?” Sehun pushes the subject again, he doesn’t think he can handle the suffocating tension between them much longer. 

Jongin leans close to Sehun’s face, only inches away as he whispers, so Baekhyun cannot order him to apologize again. “Because I hate you. I can’t stand to be in the same radius as you, that is why.” 

Sehun stops walking, causing Baekhyun and Kai to stop since they are all holding hands. 

“Then why are you here?” There is defeat laced in Sehun’s soft tone. He didn’t sign up for this Jongin, his old Jongin hated conflict, hated yelling, hated aggression and most importantly Jongin didn’t hate him. “Why Jonginnie?” 

“Don’t you dare call me that.” Jongin hisses pointing at Sehun, hesitant to touch the blond. 

“I don’t deserve this shitty treatment, I get it you hate me and you have every right to hate me!” Sehun can’t keep quiet any longer. He knew he wasn’t worthy of having Jongin help him and he understands why Jongin hates him, he’d done despicable things to his ex-best friend but this, he couldn’t handle. “But if you’re here as some kind of revenge to mock me, humiliate me then the deed is done.” 

Anguish. That is all Jongin could feel as he shut his eyes. Nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach. His head was swarmed with half-formed regrets and what-ifs. He knows exactly why he is helping Sehun, he hates himself for even acknowledging his desire. 

“Because my heart can’t stop thinking about you…” Jongin whispered under his breath, his voice inaudible. 

“Please. Answer me.” Sehun sighs, he doesn’t want to the ominous strain to keep appearing. 

Jongin opens his eyes, his hands are no longer shaky after taking a moment of control. He wrapped his heartache with a glove of ice, a frozen prison to keep his true intentions locked up, too afraid to pick the lock or break the bars. 

“I’m not here for revenge,” Jongin starts his voice monotonous, void of emotion. “I’m sorry that I snapped at you earlier, it's just I’ve been stressed the last few days with university, work, and life. I took it out on you.” 

Sehun nods his head in understanding, and he can see Jongin struggle to form the words on his lips. Something is off, but Sehun blames it on time because the Jongin in front of him is not the one he knows any longer, people change. 

“I know you’re in a tough spot, and if I were in your place I’d want some help.” Jongin recites the conversation himself and Chanyeol had earlier this morning. “I just…lost my cool. Okay?” 

“I’m sorry as well.” Sehun apologizes, holding his hand out. “I promise you I’ll work on being a better Sehun. I swear.” 

Jongin stares at Sehun’s open palm and shakes it trying to not react to how his heartbeats quicken at their touch. He snatches his hand way immediately, picking up little Baekhyun from the ground needing comfort and a distraction already walking ahead. 

“Come on then, let’s go find you some red shoes.” Jongin declares to the toddler making a silly face, which the toddler copies. 

Jongin glances back to see Sehun still standing in their previous spot, and Jongin fakes his tone into one with no malice. “Sehun, you’re burning daylight hurry up man!” 

“Coming!” Sehun yells rushing up to catch up to the pair, unable to erase the small smile on his lips. 

Maybe not all hope is a loss for their friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat has been out of the bag = Jongin's internal love-hate with Sehun. 
> 
> ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ 
> 
> If you ever wanna chat, my twitter is:@GlazedDounut72
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS ✰) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. It is a writer's fuel. ❣
> 
> 𝕀'𝕞 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤, 𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜.  
> 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝙸'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔.


	6. Kangaroo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥6.7K♥ chapter. I wrote it over the past few days because I finally finished my finals and took my time to write it. :) 
> 
> I want to thank every single person who has been so kind and generous in leaving their sweet, sweet comments and kudos! I literally take screenshots of them and re-read them for motivation and moral support. So thank you. ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS ✰) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. It is a writer's fuel. ❣
> 
> 𝕀'𝕞 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤, 𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜.  
> 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝙸'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔.

“What about this place? It looks decent.” Sehun points at the nth store they have passed by through the crowded street, as Jongin casts him a glare. 

After Jongin explained to Sehun that they aren’t going to be entering the usual stores Sehun was accustomed to due to their low budget, Sehun has taken initiative to find the perfect store trying to seem thrifty, but instead to Jongin looked clueless. After the 5th store that Sehun has eagerly pointed out in hopes of getting Jongin’s approval of shopping in, Jongin has given up to answering and explaining why each store was unfit for their budget or why how it lacked children wear by the outer signs. 

“Look at this one, there’s a child mannequin outside this one,” Sehun rushes to the store letting go of Baekhyun’s hand and rushing to mannequin spreading his arms in an exaggerated gesture. Baekhyun holds Jongin’s hand immediately, tugging the grumpy male towards the store. “Yes? Finally?” 

“We’ll see,” Jongin mutters, pulling the door open entering the store with Baekhyun as Sehun rushes behind excited. 

Finally, something he is skilled in which is fashion, Sehun often shopped when he was upset or bored, it was his forte. This is almost like a challenge, the type he sees on the internet with their limited money, he’s always thought it would be interesting to try out. Now he can, he’ll pretend that it isn’t out of desperation but out of the fun. 

“Oh my god, it’s way bigger on the inside!” Sehun gaped surveying the store, it seemed to stretch on with all of the cramped clothes layered and hung on top of each other. 

Jongin holds onto Sehun’s forearm, ignoring the tingling sensation at the mere touch. “Listen to me, you don’t buy anything until I’ve approved it. I don’t need you to waste money because you think it’ll look cute or something. We need essentials.” 

Sehun looks down at Jongin’s hand, making the latter instantly release him. Almost flushed at the face. “I got it. Don’t worry about it.” 

Sehun dives in, finally in his element only to feel Jongin’s intense laser-like gaze on him that he has the nerve to look at his ally after counting to ten to settle his nerves. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Jongin’s voice is deep and rumbling, waving his linked hand with 4-year-old Baekhyun. “You need to see if he fits the clothes.” 

“Huh? Yes, yes!” Sehun nods not wanting to get another strong reaction out of Jongin, so he grabs Baekhyun’s free hand ready to drag the toddler for dress-up. However, Baekyun doesn’t let go of Jongin’s hand and Sehun halts at the sudden heavyweight he looks back only to see Jongin squatting down to Baekhyun’s height. 

“I’m not going if that’s what you’re worried about Baekhyunnie.” Jongin’s voice is soft, even a small understanding smile on his lips, and Sehun is in disbelief at the sight. 

“Stay with Baekhyunnie then.” The toddler pouted, holding Jongin’s index and middle finger tightly into his fist not wavering. 

“I’m staying right over,” Jongin pauses glancing around the store trying to find a seating area. “There, you see those purple chairs? I’ll be waiting there.” 

“No, with Baekhyunnie.”  
“Kid. I can’t.”  
“Why? Jonginnie with Baekhyunnie.”

Jongin doesn’t know how he can explain that being near Sehun for much longer is doing him no favors if anything he might do something irrational. 

“And Sehun?” The single-father added unsurely, not liking the feeling of being left out. 

Jongin rolls his eyes at Sehun before focusing on Baekhyun. The toddler looked close to tears and Jongin doesn’t have the heart to watch him cry. He understands it’s been a confusing few days, and Baekhyun feels much more familiar with Jongin than Sehun, but Jongin can’t possibly take over the role of Sehun. 

“Fine, fine.” Jongin sighs standing up again, Baekhyun not letting go of his fingers. 

Sehun starts looking through the kid section available, a little discouraged at the limited range. But with or without a budget Baekhyun is going to dress fashionably, no child of his will look like a slob. Sehun pauses at the thought, it was weird that he’s already dressing Baekhyun as his own, it leaves an unsettling feeling at the pit of his stomach. He shouldn’t have a child. 

“How about a matching set?” Sehun asks pulling out the killer combo, holding it against Baekhyun’s body for size-reference. “Space grey or smoke grey?” 

“Cat!” Baekhyun squeals instead, tugging at the hem of a shirt with a cartoon of a white cat in the middle. 

“Jongin? I feel like space grey has a good feel to it, but the smoke grey has a vintage feel. What do you think?” Sehun asks again, holding the identical sweater-pants combo on either side of his face waiting for the verdict. 

Jongin stares at Sehun dumbfound that he keeps finding new ways to annoy Jongin so effortlessly. Mutely Jongin pulls out the cat-shirt that interested Baekhyun before looking at Sehun. “Does it matter? As long as it’s cheap.” 

Sehun tuts unimpressed with Jongin’s lack of color palette and lowers himself to Baekhyun’s height. Maybe Baekhyun has inherited his vogue style. “Which one do you like? Space grey or smoke grey?” 

Baekhyun looks up at Jongin to double-check the elder is still beside him and after a few seconds of pondering, he steps towards Sehun letting go of Jongin and tugs on the space-grey combo. “Pretty.” 

“As expected from an Oh baby!” Sehun grins satisfied flinging the smoke-grey combo on the racks and moves up in his search for the next item. 

Jongin scoffs at the brat-like behavior, yanking the disregarded clothing placing it back in its proper place. “A thorn in my side.” He muttered. 

“This! This!” Baekhyun waved in delight at the sight of another cartoon-like shirt, turning around with a wide smile targeted at Jongin who can’t help but laugh at how innocent Baekhyun seemed. 

“This one? The one with the strawberries?” Jongin pulls out the shirt, showing Baekhyun to get the affirmation but Sehun comes in leaning into the shirt in deep analysis. 

“Isn’t that a little babyish?” Sehun comments and Jongin raises his leg to kick the latter before holding himself back. 

“You might have forgotten dumb-fuck, but this shopping trip isn’t for you, it’s for Baekhyun. If he likes it, we’re getting it. Within a limit.” Jongin hisses smacking the shirt in Sehun’s face before placing it over his shoulder as a make-shift basket. 

“No offense but have you seen how the other kids at that daycare dressed like?” Sehun utters bold as brass, he might as well be honest even if Jongin’s looks are frightening. 

“You have no idea how much I am holding back right now,” Jongin whispers back Sehun pales at the threat. “As long as Baekhyun approves your stupid shit, then fine.” 

Sehun nods thankfully that Jongin hasn’t bitten his head off yet, and looks at Baekhyun expectantly. 

“Wanna help me look for some pants?” Sehun smiles but Baekhyun presses himself against Jongin’s leg squishing his cheek. 

“Together.” 

Sehun peeks at Jongin’s clenched jaw and nods hurriedly not wanting to further escalate the situation. “Sure! Come over here, there has some cool stuff.” 

Baekhyun drags Jongin towards Sehun’s general direction and Jongin pauses at the sign above the section Sehun is currently pulling out clothes and showing them to his son. “That is the 10 dollar rack, you aren’t about to spend money you don’t have. The 5 dollar rack is just as fine.” 

Sehun pouts, he has the audacity to pout, and Jongin’s lips part at the sight in shock. 

“But they don’t have stylish let alone chic things for Baekhyun to wear! Right, Baekhyun?” Sehun nudges the toddler, holding the 4-year-old’s head with both hands moving them up and down in a nodding motion. “See? Baekhyun agrees.” 

Jongin is exhausted. He didn’t realize that being around Sehun for such a long period can mentally tire you but, here he was at his wit's end. Without another word, Jongin walks with Baekhyun to the 5 dollar rack in a silent objection and picks up the toddler placing him on his hip. 

“What about this? It’s a fire-truck.” Jongin fakes his enthusiasm to Baekhyun, as he watches in the corner of his eye Sehun begrudgingly plod to them with disappointment. 

“Yes, yes! Can we get it?” Baekhyun’s eyes are wide and hopeful, holding onto the fabric. 

“Sure kid,” Jongin assures ready to take the t-shirt from the toddler only for Baekhyun to refuse of letting it go. “What’s the matter?” 

“Down,” Baekhyun answers instead. 

Both Sehun and Jongin exchange looks, eyeing Baekhyun walk up to Sehun confusing the adults even further and then open up Sehun’s messenger bag. 

“What are you doing—oh no no!” Sehun expresses his alarm at the sight of the 4-year-old putting the t-shirt inside of Sehun’s bag. In an instant, Sehun pulls out the item, startled holding it like a piece of radioactive artifact. 

Baekhyun furrows his brows together in confusion, taking a step back. 

Jongin can’t believe that Baekhyun so casually tried to steal a t-shirt, Jongin is sure that kids his age at least have the concept of being good and bad locked down by now. 

“Jongin!” Sehun blurs out, gesturing to little Baekhyun then the shirt he’s holding at an arms-length. “Could you please?” 

Suppressing a scoff, Jongin turns to the toddler. “Why did you put the fire truck t-shirt in Sehun’s bag?” 

Baekhyun has the decency to look a little guilty, as he lowers his head afraid of a scolding. 

“We aren’t mad Baekhyunnie, we wanna know why you did it.” Jongin tries again. 

“Aren’t mad? I was almost considered to be an accomplice in—ouch!” Sehun clams up holding onto the shin Jongin thumped him at. 

“Mummy and me play this game…” Baekhyun murmurs softly, fidgeting with his sleeves.

Sehun gapes at the new information. He never knew Mina would steal, she said they lived with her grandmother, hardly any reason for her steal when she had a roof over her head, food on the table and a bed to sleep in. No need to let things get to the extent of teaching children on stealing, it isn’t like she lived terribly. Either that or Mina wasn’t being completely truthful with Sehun, and he prayed to got that it wasn’t the latter because if she was lying to Sehun it meant she was lying about coming back. 

“Go pay, we’ll hit another store,” Jongin orders him, picking up Baekhyun’s tiny frame into his arms. 

Jongin doesn’t even bother to include Sehun in the conversation knowing the latter is far too busy being over-dramatic at his almost-criminal life event, so Jongin tosses the few clothes they have picked out to Sehun. 

“Is Jonginnie mad?” Baekhyun whispers, playing with Jongin’s sweater crewneck. 

Jongin shakes his head, pressing a kiss on Baekhyun’s crown. “It’s not a good thing, you shouldn’t steal. You have to pay with money. You’re a good boy, and good boys don’t steal. Do you understand?” 

Baekhyun nods his head with welt up tears in his eyes, but he isn’t going to cry. His mummy hated it when he cried, and Baekhyun didn’t want to make Jongin or Sehun angry at him. So he wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck in an act of comfort trying to calm himself mutely. 

Jongin pats the toddler back in a soothing motion, watching Sehun raise the paper bag as he marches towards them. 

“I saw a big box store ahead, it has everything. Like appliances, clothes, toys, uh candles? Everything! And all you need for cheap.” Sehun states as the trio exit the store. 

“Lead the way, the faster we’re done the sooner I can get away from you.” Jongin answers, readjusting Baekhyun on his hip. 

The street food aroma hits them as they move further up the street. It was crowded with the ventures scattered on the edges of the wide street. The food was mouth-watering, and as Sehun’s stomach grumbled he realized he hadn’t eaten all day. Barely. 

Sehun needed to be strategic because Jongin was going to refuse the idea of them eating street food immediately. He needed Baekhyun to soften the blow and to do this he needed to be in contact with Baekhyun. But this was the issue, Jongin was carrying Baekhyun and Sehun needed to detach them. 

“Hey come here,” Sehun started reaching out to hold Baekhyun who stared at him unmoving. 

“What are you doing?” 

Sehun ignores Jongin’s voice and picks up Baekhyun from the latter. “Why don’t you give Jongin a break, his arms must be tired.” 

Baekhyun loosens his grip from Jongin letting himself be carried by Sehun. Uncomfortable with their close approximately, Baekhyun starts to fidget and Sehun can’t for the life of him keep a stronghold on the toddler. He needed to move fast because he might drop Baekhyun. 

“Oh, will you look at that? Are those fish-shaped cakes?” Sehun fake gasped, pausing by the vender who is an elderly lady. 

Sehun hurriedly lowers Baekhyun onto the ground unable to withstand holding him any further and pushes him forward. “What was that? You want one Baekhyun?” 

Jongin eyes them in distant, but inches towards the stall. He was a little peckish but he’d rather not waste the money on food, and he doesn’t want to express his dilemma to Sehun of all people knowing the latter is going to be a brat about the whole ordeal. So, Jongin instead stands beside Sehun, with crossed arms mutely watching the father-son interactions. 

Baekhyun furrowed his brows at Sehun’s manic behavior, but the sight of the fish-cakes seemed appealing. So he nods with enthusiasm going on the tip of his toes trying to get a better view of the food. “Yes, please. One fishy for Baekhyunnie!” 

“Can we get three fish cakes please?” Sehun flashes his charming smile, watching the venture pull out the fresh cakes placing them into a mini-cup for a more hands-on experience. 

“I don’t want one.” Jongin declines, but Sehun persists pushing the fish cake to Jongin who holds it for the food to not fall on the ground. The aroma was mouth-watering and Jongin wishes he’d eaten breakfast, maybe then he’d have a stronger will-power. 

Sehun pays for the food, and Jongin doesn’t want to have any type of debt to Sehun. Not one dollar or a lifetime. But Baekhyun seems happy and Sehun’s cattiness is subduing at the sight of the food, so he’ll keep hum for the meanwhile. 

“Woah!!” Baekhyun exclaims in astonishment, holding his fish-cake with both hands carefully looking up at the grown-ups in delight. 

“It’s good right?” Sehun boasts biting the head of the fish, feeling the warm goo explode in his mouth. “Trust me when it comes to food, I know what I’m doing.” 

“You’re a terrible cook, what are you talking about?” Jongin exposes, takes a small bite of the pastry. “Which reminds me, you need to start to learn how to cook. Baekhyun can’t live on delivery food.” 

“I am an excellent cook, I am just very particular in the dishes I cook.” Sehun isn’t sure if he’s trying to convince Jongin or himself. 

“Do you remember the cake you baked for my birthday? It was a ready-made cake box you just needed to add eggs, milk, and water. You fucked that up too.” Jongin snorts at the memory. Sehun had been a flustered mess, trying to resurrect the dodgy cake back to its risen state with dry fondue he found and candles that melted on top. It was a sight to see, but Jongin loved it, he couldn’t believe that Sehun would go as far as make him something out of scratch. Things were simpler back then. 

“Did you just laugh with me?” Sehun’s smile widens into a grin. 

Jongin’s face turns stony at the comment. “Laughing at you. Not with you.” 

Sehun tries to hide his smile behind his mouth not wanting to tease Jongin any further knowing the latter will lose his temper. “Whatever you say…”

“Where’s the box store? I wanna get back before nightfall.” Jongin demands as he places his hand on Baekhyun’s crown to make sure the toddler doesn’t get too carried away ahead of them. 

“That one over there. It’s really big, I go there when I want to buy useless stuff to make myself feel better.” 

(—————) 

Jongin stood by one of the isles helpless with a basket in one hand, and Baekhyun’s coat in the other. Watching the father-son duo occupied with looking through the items on the shelf. 

Sehun has taken the initiative of tracking down all of the items in his opinion that matter and are a necessity to his and Baekhyun’s new lives. The unimportant junk that has been piling up in the basket will most definitely not be included during check-out, but Jongin won’t tell Sehun that. After all, actions are louder than words. 

Sehun even took Baekhyun with him after persuading him with toys to buy. Jongin wanting to be time-efficient and told Sehun he’s going to look for some pajamas, underwear, and socks for Baekhyun, actually taking this task seriously. 

Jongin wishes he never knew Sehun when he moved to town and met him in middle school. Maybe he wouldn’t be filled with so much anguish and rage at the world and himself. They were attached at the hip, and now at this age and time, Jongin still gets triggered by nostalgic memories associated with Sehun even when he’d blocked them out. Like last month when he was watching Chanyeol pick the corn out of his pasta, Jongin immediately thought of how Sehun would pick the corn out of Jongin’s food and place it on his plate knowing the latter hated it. 

“Look at how cute this is!” Sehun waved in the air at the three-piece cookie cutter set, pulling Jongin back to reality. “It’s in the shape of bears faces! We need this, right Baekhyun?” 

Bears! Grr!” Baekhyun imitated, with his small hands and scrunched nose and if Sehun wasn’t using the toddler as a tactic Jongin would have mimicked Baekhyun back playfully.

“No. It’s nonessential.” Jongin answers dryly, moving the basket away from Sehun’s reach when he tried to drop the item in. 

“Baekhyun can you tell him it’s cute?” Sehun looks at the 4-year-old gesturing to a grumpy Jongin. 

“It’s cute Jonginnie.”  
“I know you find it nice and cute, but we don’t need it.” 

Baekhyun turns his attention to Sehun and repeats Jongin’s words naively. “Jonginnie said we don’t need it.” 

“You told me I need to know how to cook, this is an essential tool. I need to be creative and for that to happen, I need a bear-shaped cookie cutter.” 

Jongin scoffs but says no more, he needed to choose his battles. Taking Jongin’s silence as a win, he hurriedly places the item inside of the basket. 

Sehun pulls out the small box that was next to the cookie-cutter, holding it out to the pair as if he’s a salesman. “Guys this is pretty nice. It’s a matching set for two, you can’t get a cookie-cutter without the matching set of plates, bowls, utilities, and cups. It’s only $19! That’s a bargain!” 

Jongin thought it couldn’t possibly get worse but it does, because as much as he’d like to forget Sehun is most definitely a shopaholic and although Jongin is usually good at telling Sehun no and to fuck off, it was more difficult in the presence of Baekhyun who is simply excited that he is out on an adventure with the adults, his earlier woes forgotten momentarily about. 

“Baekhyun walk to Jongin then back to me.” Sehun nudges the toddler after adjusting a vibrant backpack on his back to model for Jongin. “It’s big, and he’ll be the popular kid when he goes to daycare—“ 

“He has a perfectly functional backpack, remember?” Jongin scoffed, taking off the backpack from Baekhyun with care. 

“Well, yes but—“  
“End of conversation.” 

Sehun clearly enjoyed matching sets because he kept them coming and Jongin was so over it. He hated how easily Sehun would smile at every thing that was fascinating, how mannered he was with the staff when in search of a particular item and how he keeps tugging along Baekhyun who actually doesn’t seem to be terribly uneasy with Sehun as much as before, Jongin supposes that is what the fish-cake was an ice-breaker. He hated how Sehun sailed through life with ease, nobody knew how much of backstabbing horrible person he truly was. Sehun should be given an award for his acting. 

Jongin sees a stuffed-bunny perched all on its own, ignoring Sehun’s long monologues on why they need this and that, and instinctively walks towards it and picks it up right before another costumer snatches it. 

“It’s for my grandson.” The middle-aged woman explained as if that was a free-pass for Jongin to give her back the plushie. 

“Sorry, but this is for a kid too. Have a good da—”  
“It’s his birthday. I saw it first, but you swiped it when I reached out.” 

Jongin eyes her up and down in disdain and she dares to look back unimpressed with a hand on her hip. “Listen here, ma’am. I don’t care if it’s for your grandson or some other fucker. But I will not be accused of ‘swiping it’ because I didn’t. So piss off.” 

“Your generation is always so rude!” 

“And yours is always thinking they have a bitch-pass because you lived through the great depression. Go cry me a river.” 

Jongin doesn’t wait for a reply as he brushes past her the bunny secure in his hand. Baekhyun will be ecstatic with the toy, he’ll even pay for it from his pocket. 

Jongin turns to the next aisle where Sehun and Baekhyun are, he waves the cream-colored bunny high in the air victoriously. He holds it out for Baekhyun. 

“I found this for you, do you like it?” Jongin feels apprehensive, but Baekhyun’s wide smile melts any worries away. Baekhyun hugs the plushie tightly in delight, spinning in his place. 

“Bunny! I like it so so so much!” Baekhyun jumps holding the bunny close to his chest. 

Jongin’s lips curve up, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m glad you like it, champ.” 

Sehun sees the faint blush on Jongin’s cheeks and can’t help but be glad. It’s good that Jongin still shows his feelings. He remembers how Jongin was a hard-nut to crack when they were friends, it took Sehun a long time to figure out how to read Jongin. 

“What are you going to call the bunny?” Sehun asks softly, Jongin’s voice of getting to know Baekhyun ring in his mind. 

Baekhyun glances at the pair before narrowing his eyes at his new best friend. “Min. His name is Min and he likes pancakes like Baekhyunnie.” 

“Min who likes pancakes, I think he’s a cool dude.” Jongin hums satisfied that Baekhyun loves it. Of course, he’ll never mention the small spat exchange that occurred for him to keep the plushie. 

Sehun nods in agreement, even throwing a double thumbs up In Baekhyun’s direction. “Definitely.” 

Baekhyun tugs on Jongin’s pants, causing the elder to soften up. “Jonginnie..”

“Yeah?”  
“Thank you for Min.”

“It’s nothing, kid.” Jongin shrugs like its not a big deal. 

“We found a coat for Baekhyun, look at this.” Sehun holds out the puffy red coat for Jongin to examine. Sehun leans towards Jongin, lowering his voice for Baekhyun to not hear. “Personally, I think red can clash with other outfits easily, and I wanted it in black but he wasn’t having it.” 

Jongin rolls his eyes, pushing Sehun away. “How much is it?” 

“A nice $22. A bargain like you wanted.” Sehun boasts waving the clothing as Jongin snatches it from his hands. 

“Fine. We have everything we need for him, let’s go.” 

Jongin holds his hand out for Baekhyun to hold, his entire palm covering the small toddler’s hand.

(—————)

“And we saw a goat and a bunny!” Baekhyun chatted with enthusiasm, walking up to Sehun’s apartment complex with Jongin and Sehun on either side of their hands filled with shooting bags. “And a deer!”

“So you went to a petting zoo basically?” Sehun raised his brows in mild interest and disgust at the thought of the kids running around with all the possible dirt and bacteria. Jongin doesn’t hesitate to step on his foot, encouraging the toddler to continue. 

“Did you get to feed them?” Jongin asks with gentleness. 

Baekhyun jumps in his spot a few times nodding his head, as they wait for Sehun to press the complex entry password. 

“We gave them carrots and yucky greens!” Baekhyun sticks his tongue out at the image of vegetables, pushing the door open with all his might to open it and Sehun helps by leaning his body weight on the metal entry door. “But mummy said they like yucky greens.” 

“I suppose Min the Bunny is different, eh?” Jongin has a half-smile watching the toddler ponder the though with seriousness. 

“Min likes pancakes and broccoli.” 

“Broccoli is a good food choice, mini trees.” Sehun nods satisfied with the 4-year-old’s answer. 

“And then mummy said we can eat pancakes with mummy’s friends after!” Baekhyun’s grin deflates slightly at the memory. 

It was his favorite day. They went early in the morning, that alone was an accomplishment because his mother hardly works up on time or before noon. She promised him the night before and she kept it her promise that time. They went to the petting zoo, passing by the security guard with no ticket to pay after she talked to him with a few sweet words and they had a quality bonding time. She laughed a lot that day, Baekhyun was so happy to see her in that state. He often spent time with his mother but not like this, with no running around or rushing somewhere every few hours to meet her friends. But then, when they met up with her friends, it went downhill. Baekhyun was never fond of her friends, they were so brash and ignored him most of the time. But that night at the diner, Baekhyun stayed in his mummy’s friend’s house for the night left to fend for himself while they went out. Mummy said she needed a break and he was a big boy so Baekhyun didn’t mind so much. 

“Baekhyun can you press the button?” Sehun gestures with his chin at the elevator push-switch. 

Sehun knew if he lowered the bags in his hands he might not have enough arm strength to pick them back up. He’s lying to himself, He definitely will not be able to pick them up, it was a struggle to carry all the way from downtown to his home. 

On his tiptoes, Baekhyun pushes the metal-tinted button obediently, watching it flash red. 

“Baekhyunnie has a ballon with a roo-roo on it. But it’s with Mummy, in her room.” Baekhyun continues evidently keen to talk since Sehun and Jongin are patient and focused on him enough to listen and chat. They weren’t mean to him or ignored him like the other adults in his life. 

“A what now?” 

Jongin glances at the light-up numbers on the elevator slowly decrease, before turning back to Baekhyun who squatted and placed his hands in front of his chest balling them into fists and began jumping around. 

Sehun and Jongin looked at the toddler startled at the sudden animal-demonstration, dissolving into soft chuckles at the endearing sight. 

“A roo-roo? A rabbit?” Sehun guessed, liking the sudden game. 

Jongin scoffs at Sehun’s weak answer, he isn’t about to lose to Sehun. Eyeing Baekhyun’s movements as the light-bulb flashed in his mind. 

“Kangaroo! A Kangaroo!” Jongin calls out at the top of his voice, and the elevator dings its arrival. 

“Roo!” Baekhyun grinned. 

“Oh shit, that flew over my head.” Sehun groaned throwing his head back displeased as they all enter the elevator. 

“You shouldn’t swear in front of him.” 

Sehun gapes at Jongin’s comment, scoffing in disbelief. “You have done nothing but swear in front of Baekhyun, and I can vouch for this because they have all be directed at me!” 

Jongin has the decency to look away from a little flushed. He needs to censor himself in front of the toddler, that is true. He’d rather not have Baekhyun learn these words by the time he’s five. “I apologized already.”

“Mummy says bad words all the time, her friends too.” Baekhyun over-shares yet again. And guilt spreads to Jongin and Sehun like wild-fire, it’s harsh and quick. Jongin can understand that saying ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ around a child constantly doesn’t necessarily mean that it indicates bad parenting, however in Mina’s situation it seems a little intense. 

Sehun pressed his floor number and sticks his tongue out Jongin when he isn’t looking. Baekhyun wasn’t as tiresome as Sehun assumed he’d be. If anything Baekhyun seems to be quite obedient and sweet if he forgets about this morning’s incident. 

Baekhyun’s blabbering didn’t stop, he was so excited and happy over his little adventure and day out with Sehun and Jongin. It was cute how Baekhyun would ramble when he was in good spirits, Jongin noticed. 

“Me and Min are going to play so much!” Baekhyun cheered as the elevator door slides open and Baekhyun hops out. “Jonginnie and Sehunnie will play too.” 

“What do you want to play?” Jongin asks amused by Baekhyun’s assertiveness. 

“Pirates.” Baekhyun declares following Sehun to the apartment door with Jongin beside him. “Hide and seek! Me and mummy play it all the time! She never can find me. I always win.” 

“Oh yeah, I bet you’re a little genius then.” 

Sehun punches in his key code with his nose unable to retrieve his key from his messenger bag since both his hands are full. Once the door unlocks Sehun dumps the bags by the front door, immediately causing a traffic jam. 

“My arms were about to fall off, ugh!” Sehun grunted taking of his messenger bag and placing it on the table than throwing himself on the couch exhausted. 

“Yeah, yeah! Sometimes I wait for mummy to find me but then I get tired of hiding and when I come out she isn’t there!” Baekhyun continues animately with his hands oblivious to how Jongin paused in his step. “It’s not fair, mummy always says hide and seek only in the house, but mummy went out. Baekhyun can’t go out, so Baekhyunnie waited until mummy is back.”

Sehun flips to his stomach and faces Baekhyun with a look of pity and concern laced into one. “D-Did…you have to wait long?” 

Baekhyun wide-eyed and naive shrugs, plopping down on the ground slowly trying to take his shoes off. Jongin immediately comes to his rescue, helping him with his coat and shoes. 

“Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?” Jongin asks instead knowing that it will do nobody any good to ruin the night with him yelling since the only person that deserves it isn’t present. Instead, he brushes Baekhyun’s hair behind his ears trying to calm himself. They might need to cut it. 

“Baekhyunnie wants to show Min the house.” The toddler answers instead, already pulling out Min from Sehun’s messenger bag after telling the adults that Min needs to stay safe from the big bags and not get lost. 

Sehun flips to his side, watching Jongin pull all of the bags Sehun dropped by the door into the apartment properly so the door can be closed. 

“Where do you think Baekhyun would sleep?” Sehun asks as soon as Baekhyun disappears further into the apartment. 

Jongin glances up, with a raised brow. “The same place he slept in last night?” 

“My bed?” Sehun sits up immediately, crossing his arms over his chest, and Jongin wonders who the child is between them. “But I don’t want him to be in my bed.”

“Why? You got someone to fuck in your king-sized bed?” Jongin said boldly, organizing the shopping bags unbothered by Sehun’s red face. “Exactly. Unless you have spare cash to buy him a whole ass bed then no, he stays in the bed. What are you going to do? Banish a 4-year-old on your couch?” 

“This is a $9000 Fabio leather cinema couch,” Sehun mumbles. 

“Oh? Let me rephrase. What are you going to do? Banish a 4-year-old on your $9000 Fabio leather cinema couch.” Jongin retorts with raised brows. 

“We aren’t even sure if he’s staying for that long...” Sehun’s voice is low and unsure, and Jongin pauses from his bag rummaging and glances at Sehun solemnly. “Like what if she comes tomorrow and takes him? All of this would have been for nothing. Or what if she…doesn't.” 

“I’m not doing this with you.” 

Because Jongin isn’t going to be sugar-coating anything for Sehun any longer. He isn’t going to go back and forth with him either. The sooner Sehun realizes that Jongin isn’t going to coddle him, and is nothing more than an ally helping him out this single time the better. He isn’t anybody’s emotional support, especially not Sehun’s. 

“But—“ 

“Sehun just go check on Baekhyun. I can’t hear him talking to his bunny.” Jongin shoos the young father, too exhausted to even have a spat. “Go!” 

With an exaggerated huff, Sehun leaves his position at the couch and takes long strides to get to his bedroom only to find out Baekhyun on the floor passed out with little drool staining his floors. “Jongin!”

A faint ‘what’ can be heard, and Sehun doesn’t need another scolding so he does what he knows Jongin would want him to do and picks up Baekhyun from the ground and places him on the bed with care. 

Sehun stares at Baekhyun’s sleeping form, wondering how Baekhyun is his child. Baekhyun didn’t look like him at all or did he? Maybe Sehun secretly doesn’t want Baekhyun to look like him because that would be a plausible excuse for when Mina comes and takes him back. He isn’t fit to be a father, he wants to be young and reckless, regardless if today had been surprisingly fun. Maybe because he wasn’t completely alone. Jongin always seemed to be there when he needed him most. 

With light footsteps, Sehun walks out of his bedroom leaving the door ajar and re-enters the living room space where Jongin is sat by the dining table looking slumped. 

“Baekhyun passed out, I put him on the bed. Would you like a glass of water?” 

Jongin looks up and nods softly. “I’ll tell my friend about you when I get back tonight. Then I’ll update you about it.” 

“I really can’t thank you enough Jongin.” Sehun begins pulling out a glass and flipping the tap-water faucet on. “Without you, I’d be a mess, Baekhyun would be a mess. We’d be a mess. Like I owe you so much.” 

Sehun means it. He wants to repay Jongin’s kindness, even in the harshest of relationships and conditions Jongin still lives up to be a good man, and Sehun is thankful for that. He is grateful and has a pang of regret that Jongin hadn’t let the past harden his heart. 

“You need to figure out your schedule,” Jongin answers him instead, rubbing his eyes with his palms. He hadn’t been sleeping well ever since the encounter two nights back. “And incorporate Baekhyun in it. His pick up and drop off times for the daycare, when you wake up and lunch? And other shit like that. You’ve got to be responsible and be time-conscious.” 

Sehun hands Jongin the glass of water and pulls out his notebook and pen from his messenger bag seating himself beside Jongin on the diner table. He scribbles down Jongin’s words hurriedly, as Jongin quenches his thirst. 

“Google-like ‘healthy kid snacks’ okay? Just in case he ever gets hungry.” 

“Snacks,” Sehun repeats, glancing at Jongin and how he keeps trying to air himself with his sweater. He must be hot, the least thing Sehun can do is give him a spare shirt to cool down. 

“You can take off your sweatshirt,” The sharp glare sent to Sehun makes him freeze for a moment. “Or I-I can give you a shirt if you want. Whatever is comfortable for you.” 

“It’s fine, you can use my clothes and if you’re that bothered you can change before you leave.” Jongin doesn’t move, and Sehun doesn’t know why but he leans close to the latter tugging at his sweatshirt’s sleeve in an act of reassurance. 

Jongin stands up in alarm immediately at the contact. “Don’t you dare touch me!” 

Startled by Jongin’s explosive and sudden behavior shift, Sehun raises his hands. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to over-step!” 

Jongin’s orbs are pits of fire, that simple touch brought back so many unwanted memories and he hates how Sehun is acting innocent and naive for this long. Pretending. 

“Here we go! Do your shit then dismiss it in the same minute as if you didn’t do anything wrong!” Jongin snaps, rage bolding deep in his system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction and Jongin knows he’s close to loosing his entire control. “Always acting like some victim! You are nothing but a liar! I’ll applaud your acting skills thought, fucking ruthless.” 

The underlining tension throughout the past few days like an undetected blood clot that has finally burst. Sehun stands up defensively, he hated that here was Jongin throwing all the blame onto him, sticking it on his back as if he’s the sole perpetrator of their situation. 

“You told me if we ever meet again, to treat you like a stranger! As if I don’t know anything about you!” Sehun shouted heatedly, he did as he was told. It was the least thing he can do, for Jongin. 

The elephant in the room has been let out, and everybody stills at the information being heard. 

“Fuck you.” Jongin’s voice is low and icy, he points a shaky finger at Sehun unable to move. “Fuck you, Oh Sehun.”

The hurt is a spider web, intricate yet strong. 

“I wish I could take it back, but I can’t! I can’t undo any of the things I did to you and I apologized!” Sehun hates how tight his chest is, almost as if it’s collapsing at the weight of the guilt. “I don’t know what more you want from me!” 

Jongin casts his gaze onto the ground and his eyes darken. He glances back up at Sehun with pain in his voice. “I haven’t exposed my skin in front of anybody ever since that night. All I wear and have are long-sleeved clothes, ever since that night. I hate it when people touch me because I’m worried they can feel them and get disgusted. Like how I do. You made my life a fucking misery.” 

“It was never my intention for it to get out of hand,” Sehun explained desperate for Jongin to listen, but the latter shakes his head. 

“You didn’t care! There’s a difference! You ruined my life and I’m still here being the fucking fool running around helping you out when you don’t deserve it.” Jongin hissed outraged. 

“Then why! One second are you fine, then the next you’re not!”  
“Because I can’t control myself around you! I still fucking like you.” 

Sehun pauses at the new piece of information, he holds onto the back of the chair for support, watching the panic color Jongin’s face. “You what? You never—“ 

“I’m leaving.” Jongin breathed, grabbing his shoes that are by the front door. 

“You can’t do that! Jongin don’t do that, please.” Sehun begged to take Jongin’s left shoe from his hand, wanting him to stay. 

“Give me back my shoe, Sehun! I’m not messing around!” Jongin demands as he ties up his other shoe. 

“Let’s talk about this, I never knew you liked me in that way. Jongin—“ Sehun mutes himself once Jongin yanks his shoe from him, shoving his foot in it hastily. 

“No. I’m not doing this, drop it.”  
“Jongin you can't just say that, then pretend it never happened!” 

Jongin stops in his step and turns to Sehun locking eyes. “Why? You did. You always pretended it never happened.” 

Sehun was thrown off guard, to say the least. He opened his mouth but nothing came out, he couldn’t formate a single word. Instead, he stood by his front door dumbly watching Jongin’s back slowly disappear down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever wanna chat, my twitter is:@GlazedDounut72
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
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> 
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.


	7. A Handful of Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more focused on Sehun's perspective, and internal struggle and how he's been holding back against Jongin. 
> 
> ♥5K♥ chapter. 
> 
> I want to thank every single person who has been so kind and generous in leaving their sweet, sweet comments and kudos! I literally take screenshots of them and re-read them for motivation and moral support. So thank you. ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡

“Why do they keep getting burned!” Sehun grumbled in frustration. 

This was his third attempt to cook breakfast, already behind schedule. He might not be fully skilled in the cooking department, but surely he wasn’t that terrible in trying to cook scrambled eggs. Sehun stares at the pile of eggshells on the bowl beside him in detest. 

“This is ridiculous..” Sehun muttered under his breath, turning off the stove leaving the blackened eggs in the pan.

The morning had been vastly different, from yesterday. For one, Baekhyun wasn’t kicking and screaming. The toddler had woken up before Sehun and took it upon himself to change out of his old clothes and into his new ones. He was a big boy, he’s been changing himself since he was 3-years-old. He even went to the attached bathroom trying to wash his face but he struggled, ending up with a soaked collar and sleeves. Baekhyun knew how much his mother hated being woken up, and he assumed Sehun would too. So, he was left to his own devices in the corner of the room chatting quietly with Min. He also didn’t dare to leave the room, a habit he acquired when he’d meet strangers in his home; some were nice, some ignored him and some were mean. 

It didn’t take long for Sehun to be woken up by the sound of Baekhyun’s babbles to Min the Bunny. He was surprised that Baekhyun had gotten ready all on his own when he did not need to do so, Sehun didn’t mind dressing him.

When Sehun realized that they were behind schedule, he began acting like a headless chicken. Rushed to the bathroom to clean himself up, grabbed Baekhyun to properly wash him up, and then changed the toddler into a dry and in his opinion a more fashionable outfit. 

“Can Min come with me?” Baekhyun’s small voice brings Sehun back to the reality that he’s not alone. 

Sehun turns around from where he’s standing by the stove, spotting the toddler seated by the dining table obediently, with the stuffed bunny Jongin had brought for him perched on the table. 

“Yeah! Min can come with you to daycare. Are you, uh, excited?” 

Baekhyun doesn’t answer him, instead, he averts his eyes and shrugs. Sehun furrows his brows at the lack of response, but he isn’t surprised. Baekhyun was still a little wary around him and Sehun can understand that, after all, he’s still a stranger in the 4-year-old’s eyes. 

“Why aren’t you excited? You’ll be playing with other kids all day.” Sehun pressed, slicing the cheese sandwich in two, one half on Baekhyun’s plate while the other on his own. He was determined to eliminate the distance between them. 

“Nervous,” Baekhyun admitted softly, twisting Min’s hands before letting go. 

Baekhyun has never been to a daycare before, he was a social child that was for sure but he seemed to lean more towards adults, than children due to his past environment. After all, he was often surrounded by his mother's friends. 

“Why are you nervous? You don’t even know how to write, talk to me when you’re in university.” Sehun scoffed, waving his hand in Baekhyun’s general direction as he roams around the kitchen as if it isn’t his own.

He wanted to pack Baekhyun some snacks since the daycare provided meals for the children. Sehun throws a banana in Baekhyun’s backpack and pulled out the first green that he spots in the fridge, which was a large cucumber. 

Sehun was up late last night reading blogs about children’s diets and one of the things that kept coming up was that kids need to eat a mixture of 5 fruits and vegetables every day. Personally, Sehun wasn’t a fan of healthy food, but he’s willing to try. It looked awkward in his opinion to throw an entire cucumber in the bag for Baekhyun, but he couldn’t figure out where his cutting board was since he doesn’t use his kitchen, often eating out or getting food deliveries. 

“I know how to write my name!” Baekhyun roared defensively with a mouthful of bread and cheese, Sehun thought he looked more like a baby cub than a lion. 

“Then, good!” Sehun replied childishly scrunching up his nose as a sign of disapproval for Baekhyun’s yelling but the toddler took no mind of him. “You can show the other kids that you can write your name. They’ll think it’s cool!” 

Sehun takes a swing of orange juice directly from the carton before placing it in front of Baekhyun. “Drink that, now you have 3 of your-5-a-day.”

Baekhyun scrunches up his button nose in confusion. “No cup?” 

Sehun shakes his head distracted, trying to find his book for today’s lecture squatting on the floor. He was a mess, but Sehun’ll be damned if he makes Baekhyun late for his first day. 

“You haven’t finished your sandwich?” Sehun peeks his head up from under the table staring at Baekhyun who narrows his eyes feeling judged. 

“I have a small mouth,” Baekhyun said taking another bite of sandwich, not touching the crusts. 

“Pick a struggle,” Sehun muttered, spotting the book wedged between the couch and the coffee table. 

“You didn’t eat _your_ sandwich!” Baekhyun pointed at the other untouched half. 

Sehun pauses, nodding his head at Baekhyun mildly impressed. “Touché.” 

Sehun shoves his book in his bag, picking up the flimsy sandwich shoving it into his mouth as he gestures for Baekhyun to drink the orange juice. Baekhyun picks up the carton without complaint, Sehun grabs the toddler’s backpack shoving the uncut cucumber in it. They have knives in the day-care, he’s sure. 

The phone vibrates and Sehun pulls it out hastily reading the bank notification explaining that his allowance has been transferred. Sehun lets out a sigh he hadn’t realized he’s been holding.

“Listen, we need to stop by an ATM because I have a feeling that your daycare doesn’t have a card machine.” 

“Where is Jonginnie?” Baekhyun asks sliding off his chair, holding onto Min by his ear. 

Flashbacks of last night flooded into his mind. He hated how they ended everything off on such an intense note. Sehun knew he was at fault but to an extent. Jongin told him to promise that if they were ever to meet again, under any circumstances, to pretend that they were strangers. Sehun kept up his part of the bargain, even when they had shared one economic-class last term, but since Baekhyun’s arrival, Sehun couldn’t help but not stick to the promise fully. He doesn’t understand why Jongin was furious at him, he’s done as he was told, for the most part, it was the least thing he could do after all of the torment he’d gotten Jongin into previously. 

Sehun felt like pure shit, he kept thinking over every little memory they shared and wondered where everything went so wrong for them after Jongin screamed at him last night in a sudden declaration of love and hate all in the same breath. 

“Not late to whatever he’s doing,” Sehun answered, sitting by the front door shoving his sneakers into his feet. Baekhyun didn’t move from his spot, just stared at Sehun with a pout, and Sehun hated how easily swayed he was by the sight. “I’m sure we’ll see him tonight, okay?”

Of course, that wasn’t true, however, Sehun doesn’t think he could handle another one of Baekhyun’s meltdowns. The toddler doesn’t detect the lie and runs towards Sehun, mimicking the latter with putting on his shoes. Sehun helps Baekhyun put on his new coat, before leaving the apartment in a rush. 

(—————)

Jongin was wallowing in self-pity in his bedroom, still in bed. He has a class in an hour or so, but it’s a 15-minute walk to get there, so he isn’t that worried. He’s more panicked about confessing to Sehun last night that he still has very present feelings about him. Jongin groans at his behavior, kicking the sheets outraged by his idiocy. 

“Minseok made breakfast.” Chanyeol’s deep voice, makes him peek out of the duvet he was currently under. 

“Do you even know how to knock?”   
“I like to give off the element of surprise.” 

Jongin snorted at the repartee, laying back down with the covers tugged til his chin. Even though he shares the apartment with his two roommates, he’s been very careful in revealing his skin always wearing something that concealed his entire body. 

Feels a weight on the side of his bed, he turns to see Chanyeol beside him staring at him like he’s fragile. And he hates it. 

“What is up with you? Ever since last night you’ve been acting weird.”   
“Can you leave, so I can change?” 

Chanyeol shakes his head as if it’s out of the question, instead, he spots a very familiar grey beanie with a _Nike_ logo embroidered in white on the side-table. It was his missing hat, he thought he wouldn’t find it again. 

“Hey! You told me you didn’t know where this was!” He snatches the beanie, tugging it over his head immediately.

Jongin smiles at him meekly, watching Chanyeol tuck in his hair under the hat. “I found it? I was going to give it to you but kind of forgot…” 

Chanyeol gives him a playful glare, flicking the other’s forehead. “This is my favorite beanie, you thief.” 

Jongin would wear Chanyeol’s beanie whenever he was feeling down or just having a bad day and Chanyeol was nowhere to be found. He’d pretend that he was with Chanyeol, to feel closer to the elder since Chanyeol was definitely a source of heavy security for Jongin. However, Jongin wasn’t going to tell Chanyeol that he stole his beanie for comforting reasons, instead of fashion. 

Jongin sticks his tongue out at his roommate, trying to push Chanyeol off his bed but it was helpless. “Can you just leave—“

“I’m not moving until you tell me what’s up, or I’ll jump on you.” Chanyeol declared with a smug grin at Jongin’s widened eyes. He’s done it before, and he knows how much Jongin hated it. 

“Fine! I’ll tell you, just let me change, okay?” 

Chanyeol tuts not satisfied, he stands up stretching his arms and fake cracking his neck in exaggerated preparation to jump. Jongin can’t help but dissolve in soft laughter at Chanyeol’s silly antics, holding onto his duvet-cover tightly. Chanyeol was glad that he could cheer Jongin up, even if it was for a few seconds, it was always a sweet sight. 

“I’m not exactly comfortable with explaining to you while I’m in this position.” Jongin gestures with his chin, his dimple present in his half-smile. 

Chanyeol knew that Jongin wasn’t comfortable in his own skin, he’s never seen what Jongin hated about his skin with his own eyes because Jongin never allowed him to. But he knew. Chanyeol understood Jongin’s way of thinking and he’d argued against it countless times but it never seemed to get the end result with Jongin, who was so persistent with the idea that he wasn’t beautiful. 

“You got 5 minutes before I come back with Minseok!” Chanyeol warned, walking backward for a cool effect but he ended up hitting his knee on the chair, taking a stumble. “I’m fine!” 

“Dork,” Jongin called after him affectionately, finally getting up from his bed. 

He passes by the body-length mirror, never looking at it. He couldn’t, not with the atrocities scattered all over his body. Sehun was the only one to call them pretty, to call him pretty. It hurts his heart every time he thinks about that. 

(—————)

“I’m going to be late,” Sehun howled in despair, tugging the little toddler’s hand. “I need to hand in my essay before class starts! If it’s not on the professor’s desk by the time he’s in the lecture hall, he isn’t accepting it!” 

“Can’t run, too fast!” Baekhyun wailed trying to match his speed with the adult. 

“Baekhyun I can’t be late! Hurry up!” 

Sehun and Baekhyun have missed the bus by two minutes, and Sehun wasn’t about to wait another twenty minutes for the next one to arrive. He convinced himself that they can make it to Baekhyun’s daycare on time, and then he’d sprint to the college campus with a few minutes to spare. However, time wasn’t on their side this morning, nor was speed. 

“I have little legs!” 

“I swear to god,” Sehun paused in the middle of the pavement facing the 4-year old whose face is flushed red from all the running. “I am going to carry you, but you need to hold on to me and Min tightly.” 

Baekhyun nods his head, holding his arms out relieved to be no longer running. Sehun adjusted him on his hip and took off not caring about the weird looks he was getting from other passer-by’s. 

Sehun thanked the heavens that he had part taken in track back in his school years because they are benefiting him. Whoever said that running track was pointless, clearly didn’t see the vision. 

“Careful!” Baekhyun shouted pointing ahead, his chubby fingers tightening around the hair at the back of Sehun’s nape. 

Sehun’s eyes double at the sudden hurdle, which was three mothers each with her respective troller blocking the entire side-walk. Sehun swerves at the last second, jumping into the road, his sneakers squeaking at the friction of rubber and rubble. 

“Shit!” Sehun hissed, leaping back on the pavement managing to balance himself and not drop Baekhyun who was holding onto Min in one hand, while the other gripped the fabric of Sehun’s jacket with his eyes squeezed shut. 

The daycare was ahead and Sehun pushed himself into finishing off strong, taking a right entering the alleyway where the daycare was located. Sehun pushes the door open breathless and frazzled. 

Tiffany freezes at the zealous entrance, watching Sehun lower Baekhyun on the ground as he fishes out of his pocket a wad of cash startling her even further. 

“Monthly payment…we’ll do it.” Sehun panted putting the money directly in her palm trying to breathe in as much oxygen as he can. 

“Are you alright? Do you want something to drink or…” She trails off, eyeing Sehun squat on the floor trying to gather stamina, throwing his head back and straightens up. 

“I’m fine.” Sehun croaked readjusting his bag, giving a weak bow in Tiffany’s direction, before running out of the daycare in a frenzy.

But then Baekhyun’s little face flashes in his mind, and he halts and rushing back to the window of the daycare that exposed most of the playing-area. Sehun banged on the glass, attracting the attention of Tiffany, Baekhyun, and a handful of kids turning to him like some lunatic. Sehun didn’t seem to care, his eyes focused on little Baekhyun who’s face is a mixture of anxiousness and confusion. 

“Have a good first day!” Sehun yelled, with a wide smile holding out his hands in a double thumbs up. “I’ll pick you up, don’t worry!” 

And just like that the tension in Baekhyun’s body melted away by the kind words, he nodded his head with a small smile playing on his lips. He watched Sehun pull out his phone and taking a picture of him. 

“First-day outfit!” Sehun shouted pointing at his phone, it was an important memory to capture in Sehun’s option of Baekhyun’s first day of daycare. 

Baekhyun nods his head shyly, waving at Sehun in a bid of farewell. But Sehun doesn’t want to leave, his heart-tugging him to stay and see if Baekhyun is going to eat the snacks he prepared, and play with the kids but he needed to leave. 

“S-Show them how you write your name!” Sehun raised his voice once more in an act of moral support, before forcing himself to take off running. 

(—————)

Chanyeol and Jongin had some free time between their classes and opted to go and eat at the university’s cafeteria since Jongin wasn’t in the mood to walk around. 

“Where do you wanna sit?” Jongin asks, an ice-americano in his hand. 

Chanyeol had taken it upon himself to get a five-star meal in his opinion, which consisted of everything that was in the food pyramid unbothered by the quantity or mildly disgusting mixture of flavors. 

“Are there any empty chairs by the windows?” Chanyeol squints ahead alongside Jongin trying to spot vacant seats but instead, he spots something much greater. “Sehun!” 

Jongin’s eyes double at the name, immediately covering Chanyeol’s mouth but the elder licks his palm away. A tactic that was a guaranteed success. 

“Sehun! Oi, Sehun!” 

The single-father turns to the source of noise, pausing in his step at the sight of Chanyeol and Jongin. He wishes the ground could rip open and swallow him, he doesn’t want to be yelled at any further by Jongin. 

“Ugh! Stop yelling his name!” Jongin demanded, shoving Chanyeol who doesn’t budge strong like a pillar.

Chanyeol ignores Jongin’s childish complaints, and heads directly to Sehun, startling the young father by how quick they are approaching feeling like an exposed lamb.

“Hey man, I know you heard me!” Chanyeol grinned, clapping Sehun’s shoulder. “What are you up to?” 

Sehun wasn’t going to humiliate himself any further by stating that his friends, ex-friends, wasted no time in spreading his personal business of being a single father around campus which resulted in Sehun becoming an immediate outsider no longer considered popular. 

Sehun glances at Jongin with obvious apprehension, but the latter is finding his iced-coffee much more interesting. “Erm, chocolate milk?” 

Chanyeol stares at the small milk-carton in Sehun’s hand and nods his head with enthusiasm. During breakfast, Jongin hadn’t elaborated about what made him so upset the night before, but he secretly knew it involved Sehun since Jongin was hanging out with him. 

“Look, Kyungsoo and Minseok are over there.” Jongin pointed already pulling Chanyeol away. “Let’s go, sit there.” 

Chanyeol lets himself be tugged, he turns to Sehun with his never-ending grin. “Well, come on Sehun! What are you doing still standing there?” 

Jongin glares at Chanyeol, pinching him hard satisfied when he hears a pained yelp. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near Sehun, he’s too embarrassed and angered and confused. He just wants to stop his heart from beating too fast. 

The trio arrives at the table in no time with Chanyeol announcing their presence as he sits down. 

“What are you two doing here?” 

“Minseok’s training was postponed and it’s my day off,” Kyungsoo answered dryly. 

Minseok snorted, lowering his phone. “Well hello to you too.” 

Jongin takes a seat between Minseok and Chanyeol, pretending to not notice that Sehun sat across from him stiffly. 

“Guys this is Sehun,” Chanyeol introduced, ignoring Jongin’s scoff. “Sehun, this is Kyungsoo he’s not from this university, he goes to some cooking school but he loves our campus and misses us so much that he always comes by to—Ow! Don’t kick me!” 

Kyungsoo turns to Sehun unbothered by Chanyeol’s whining. “I’m a culinary student, and Chanyeol is an idiot. I come here whenever I have spare time.” 

“Nice to meet you..” Sehun nods his head, trying to not smile at the friendship dynamic, knowing it’ll probably annoy Jongin. 

“And this is Minseok. My favorite roommate and friend, who’s going to own hundreds of famous hotels.” Chanyeol gestures to the other male, stuffing a dumpling in his mouth. 

“Hotels?” Sehun asks hesitantly, it’s be rude to blatantly ignore them because of Jongin. 

Minseok laughs light-heartedly, and Sehun wonders how Jongin is such a grumpy fellow when he has cheerful-sounding friends. 

“I major in hospitality management,” Minseok explains running his hand through his hair. “And you must be the same Sehun that Jongin asked me to get a weekend job for, right?” 

Jongin chokes on his drink at the sudden exposure, hitting his chest. Sehun’s orbs dart back and forth between a semi-dying Jongin and a smug Minseok. “Yes..” 

“Minseok is literally like our sugar daddy,” Chanyeol comments with a jest, all the while patting Jongin’s back. “He’s got connections to everything. If you want a dog, for example, he’ll find someone to get you the dog for half the price.” 

“Why are you using that as an example? That was terrible.” Kyungsoo furrowed his brows.

“Well, I hope you like washing dishes,” Minseok’s smile freezes once he realizes how pale Sehun turned. “Don’t worry! they’ll upgrade you to the kitchen staff eventually, like cutting and preparing the food for the cooks. With a handsome face like yours, I’m sure you’ll end up as a waiter.” 

And just like that the Sehun feels his chest close in on him, it was fear. Never in a million years did he think he’d end up working a part-time job, or have a child or lose his closest friends overnight. He feels heavy with worry, realizing that at the end of the day he’s on his own. He has to step up. 

“Thank you so much,” Sehun says faintly lowering his gaze to his drink, puncturing his chocolate milk with the straw. 

Jongin studies Sehun. He still can read him too well. It isn’t an easy responsibility to raise a child, let alone a child you only found out that is yours a few days back. He’d never voice it but he respected Sehun greatly for taking on his new role as a father with determination. Sehun is self-centered and cared too much about his image and what people thought of him, yet he didn’t disregard Baekhyun. He’s trying and for that Jongin’s inner rage deteriorates instantly.

“So, you’ve got a 4-year-old kid,” Kyungsoo speaks up, surprising everybody. 

Jongin had informed his friends about Sehun after helping him out on the first night. However, he didn’t expect quiet Kyungsoo to be the one to speak on the subject in such a brass manner. 

“I suppose?” Sehun uttered taken back, he feels like the world is against him. He doesn’t even know what possessed him to sit down with Jongin and his friends when he could have made some excuse to leave. But deep down he knew, he knew that it was because he missed being around people. He’s been skipping eating lunch at university because everybody would stare at him when he walked by or when he was sat on his own. 

Kyungsoo raises his brows, unimpressed. “You suppose? Jongin said you have a son.” 

Sehun glances at Jongin before looking back at Kyungsoo, intimidated. “Yes, I do. He’s called Baekhyun.” 

“He is the cutest little thing!” Chanyeol praised with a mouthful. 

Sehun smiles gratefully at Chanyeol before pulling out his phone, showing everybody the picture he took of the toddler earlier today. “It’s his first day in daycare. I-I took the picture through the window of the daycare because I was running late.” 

The corner of Jongin’s lips curves upwards, at Baekhyun’s wide grin. “I brought him that bunny.”

“And he finally speaks!” Minseok teased, receiving an eye-roll and a shoulder punch. 

Chanyeol takes Sehun’s phone from his hand for a moment, typing something in before handing it back. Sehun scanned the new number stored in his contacts - [Chanyeol]. 

“If you ever need a babysitter, or you want to send me cute pictures of Baekhyun,” Chanyeol explained with a wide-smile and Sehun felt grateful that he had one more person. 

“Without Jongin I’d be a mess right now…well more than usual. He helped me out when I didn’t deserve it.” Sehun says, too nervous to look at Jongin. “He’s still helping me out, with getting a job and teaching me a few things.” 

“I had some time to kill,” Jongin muttered, ruffling his own hair. 

“Look at him acting cool and shit.” Minseok snorted, high-fiving a sniggering Chanyeol.

Sehun’s phone goes off in an alarm.

“Sorry, I need to go pick up Baekhyun, it’s his first day and all, so I’m taking him out a little early—“ Sehun pauses in realization giving them a sheepish smile. “I over-shared, I’m sorry. Thanks for letting me sit with you and it was, uh, nice to meet you.” 

And just like that the lanky male stood up from his seat and left. 

“That boy is harmless,” Minseok said turning to Jongin. “And you call him your arch-enemy. I don’t think he could kill a fly if he wanted to.” 

“Right?!” Chanyeol supported, taking a large chug of water. “Honestly, in high school, he might have been a little bit of a dick, but right now all I see is someone who’s scared.” 

“I don’t mind him particularly,” Kyungsoo muttered, leaning back on his chair staring at the back of Sehun’s head. 

Jongin rolls his eyes at his friends’ comments, he needed to sort his mess with Sehun right now because he can’t bare stretching it out for much longer. He grabs Chanyeol’s grey beanie off his head and plops it on his own before running off after Sehun. 

“I’m coming back, okay?” Jongin hollered at them. 

Minseok crosses his arms over his chest with a knowing-smile. “And he says he hates him.” 

(————)

It doesn’t take long to spot Sehun in the hallway near one of the exits, Jongin jogs up to the single father stopping him in his tracks and startling him.

“I’m sorry. Chanyeol was the one that said come over, and honestly, he’s so tall and I wasn’t going—“ Sehun’s ramble gets cut off. 

“No, no. It’s fine.” Jongin assured shaking his head. “I wanted to talk to you, it won’t take long.” 

Sehun seemed hesitant. “About last night?” 

Jongin re-adjusts Chanyeol’s beanie trying to buy time. “Yeah…” 

Sehun watches Jongin struggle with forming the words, but he doesn’t rush him. 

“I’d appreciate it if we could never mention last night’s fight after this conversation,” Jongin began, looking past Sehun unable to hold eye-contact. “It’s just hard for me, okay? It’s hard for me to be around you.” 

“I didn’t know you had a crush on me back then,” Sehun answered instead, tugging at the hem of his sleeve. 

Jongin’s eyes narrow in irritation. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare do that to me.” 

“I’m not doing anything!” Sehun replied a little too defensively, trying to not react when Jongin takes a step into his personal space. 

“Don’t you dare act like it was just me that thought we were more, that it was just me that wanted to kiss you and touch you,” Jongin hisses, hot shame running through his bloodstream. “Or did you conveniently forget about all the nights you’d sneak into my room to sleep beside me, telling me to make you feel good, after fighting with your parents—“

“Jongin!” 

“Or pulling me into the boys’ locker room when nobody was round to hook up—“

“Listen to me!“

“—Or holding my hand when it was just the two of us!”

“It wasn’t serious! It was never meant to be serious!” Sehun exclaimed heatedly, trying to ignore how quick his heart is beating. Their tender memories rushing to him at full force like a bus ready to hit him. “We were just messing around, we were never more!” 

Jongin shakes his head rapidly, his lips pressed tightly together. “You’re such a liar! A fucking liar!” 

“We were kids! A pair of teenagers that knew nothing about love!” 

Jongin feels like he’s been shot, his heartache was like red hot coal placed in his chest, it glowed and burned all at once. 

“It wasn’t one-sided and you know it,” Jongin spoke thickly, swallowing the lump in his throat.

In that moment regret washed over Sehun like the long slow waves on a shallow beach, each wave icy cold, sending shivers down his spine. He spent sleepless nights wishing and longing to go back in time and take a different path, one that wasn’t so selfish and insecure. But that was impossible. Sehun stares at Jongin’s glassy orbs his face contorted in pain and hate all at once. 

“You’d pretend that I was joking when I’d tell you that I love you,” Jongin breathed shakily, trying to blink the tears away. “And I-I would pretend to be..to be asleep when you’d whisper that you love _me._ ” 

Sehun looks away, unable to handle the pain reflecting in Jongin’s orbs. “What do you want me to say, Jongin?” 

“That it wasn’t just me, tha-that it wasn’t me being delusional. That you loved me,” Jongin’s croaked his lashes clumped together by the tears. “I deserve that much, I deserve to know that I wasn’t being used, that there was love! That you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” 

Remorse would come to Sehun in quiet moments when he was going to sleep or stopped to take a lunch break. But it was suffocating right this second. He tried to push it away to the back of his mind pretending it wasn’t there, his feelings, but it would seep to the foreground of his mind demanding to be felt. And, oh God he felt it. 

“You were just somebody that I’d kiss sometimes.”

Sehun knew he was being callous, it was torturous to speak such a blatant lie, but he couldn’t do that to Jongin, because Jongin deserved better. He always deserved better. He deserved peaceful nights. He deserved to be understood and loved wholly and Sehun felt his love was inadequate, he was inadequate, and because of that, he could never give Jongin what he deserved, in comparison to Jongin’s big heart that was full of unconditional love. 

“Take it back,” Jongin demanded like a distressed child, raw from the inside. His chin trembling and his cheeks stained with tears. “I said take it back!” 

Sehun shakes his head his own eyes watery, he won’t hurt Jongin. Not again. 

“Why are you being so cruel!” Jongin’s voice cracked in anguish, grabs Sehun’s jacket shaking him. “Why are you doing this to me?” 

Sehun wiped his eyes hastily with his sleeve, tugging of Jongin’s fingers off him forcefully. “I need to go…” 

“You’re a coward!” Jongin shouts at Sehun’s disappearing figure moving further and further away from him. Jongin’s vision is blurred with tears and his heart burning with misery and sorrow. “A fucking coward!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it was, Sehun couldn't pretend for much longer that he wasn't in love with Kai. 
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS ✰) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback. It is a writer's fuel. ❣
> 
> 𝕀'𝕞 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤, 𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜.  
> 𝘐'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴, 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝙸'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜, 𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔.


	8. The Unveiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super angsty and in my feelz bec that's how I'm feeling lol. 
> 
> ♥9.7K♥ chapter.
> 
> I want to thank every single person who has been so kind and generous in leaving their sweet, sweet comments and kudos! I literally take screenshots of them and re-read them for motivation and moral support. So thank you. ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡
> 
> Disclaimer: I've started my summer courses, and I might be late on some updates + I couldn't reply last time on my comments I don't know why it won't let me. (Maybe my laptop is getting old?) I'm sorry about that, my loves.

Chanyeol was laying on the couch, playing on his phone with the popcorn bowl empty beside him on the ground and the television on as background noise. Minseok was out drinking with his colleagues from his training, so he won’t come back until dawn since the eldest loved to drink whenever he has a chance to let off some steam. And Jongin, after running off to catch up with Sehun earlier on the day—

“Jongin!” Chanyeol exclaimed, tossing his phone on the coffee table carelessly as he sits up, his eyes on his roommate. “Where the hell did you go? You weren’t answering my calls or anything. I even called Jongdae and he said you didn’t show up to your shift either.” 

Jongin doesn’t answer him or lift his head up letting his hair conceal his glazed eyes. He takes off his shoes with a small stumble and a wobble pressing himself against the wall to maintain his balance. 

Chanyeol continues unaware of Jongin’s state. “Minseok is out drinking, so y’know, he won’t be back till dawn which means we can literally do anything without—“ 

A heart-wrenching sob escapes Jongin’s lips making Chanyeol freeze up from his ramble, he looks up in alarm. Chanyeol stands up in a hurry and knocks his knee against the coffee table that was too out of proportion for his size, but he doesn’t care to yelp, he rushes to his best friend. 

“What’s the matter?” Chanyeol’s tone is soft, carefully cupping Jongin’s cheeks and he can feel their wetness. He’s been crying. “What happened, Jongin-ah?” 

Jongin’s golden honey orbs were rimmed in harsh red, and drowning in tears.

“He’s a liar, a fuck-king liar..” Jongin hissed in a weak breath and Chanyeol can smell the strong alcohol. 

“Are you drunk?” Chanyeol asks, crinkling his nose. Jongin was a light-weight but with the strong stench of alcohol Chanyeol thanks God that Jongin has made it safely back into the apartment in one piece. 

Jongin focuses back on Chanyeol’s worried face, and he almost crumbles at the sight. Why did he have to be in love with Sehun, when there was somebody like Chanyeol. There were no words for the warmth of his presence, how safe Chanyeol made him feel. If Jongin could write down what he wanted in his ideal partner, Chanyeol ticked all the marks effortlessly. So, why couldn’t he fall for Chanyeol instead of stupid Sehun? Jongin hated it, hated his heart. Jongin doesn’t want to think anymore, it hurts too much. Instead, he grips onto Chanyeol’s collar and kisses him with determination and utter desperation. 

Chanyeol leans into the kiss, his lips form against Jongin’s tasting the burning alcohol on the younger’s mouth. But before Chanyeol can get carried away, he abruptly pulls away, touching his bruised lips as if he’s sinned. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“Even you don’t want me…” Jongin slumps against the wall and blinked at the thought, new tears welling up and there’s new anguish in them that made Chanyeol hold his breath at the rawness in them. “You said you like me, why don’t you want me then! You kissed back!” 

Chanyeol goes rigid at the comment. In their earlier years of friendship, Chanyeol had developed a crush on Jongin, captivated by his charms and he told Jongin his feelings after a short while, and he’d gotten rejected because Jongin was in love with someone else. Chanyeol had told himself he’d move on, however it was difficult to move on from somebody you care deeply about when Jongin would always come to him touch-starved whenever he was drunk and depressed, craving affection and love. It was just sex for Jongin, but to Chanyeol it was always more. Chanyeol’s infatuation with Jongin was still very much alive and burning, and it was like a double-edged sword. 

“We shouldn’t have done that.” Chanyeol took a step back, shaking his head. “Like all the other times…”

Jongin pushes himself off the wall, narrowing their gap once more. “Why not?”

“Because you’re too vulnerable right now, I don’t want to take advantage of you…” Chanyeol explained with an unsteady voice, his eyes on Jongin’s fingers that keep touching his chest and neck leaving tingles, and Chanyeol just wants to devour him. “You know I want you…so much. But not like this.” _Not again, it hurts too much, He left unsaid._

Jongin knows he shouldn’t treat Chanyeol like this, use him to his own desperate needs. He’s being selfish, but the hole in his heart was so hollow that he needed to fill it tonight. He can barely keep his breathing regulated. 

Jongin presses himself against Chanyeol, his eyes damp again as he wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck. “I know you don’t take advantage of me, that’s why I…come to you.” 

Their noses are touching, and Jongin can feel Chanyeol’s hot breath on his cheek. 

“Why are you being cruel to me then?” Chanyeol murmurs, licking his lips. 

Jongin has the decency to look away, before tracing a shaky finger around Chanyeol’s lips. “Because I _need_ to forget him tonight. More than ever.” 

Chanyeol doesn’t know who Jongin’s first love is, the latter never told anyone. He doesn’t know who this person is, or why he’d shattered Jongin’s tender heart into so many pieces, molded him into the broken man he is today.

Jongin can see the wheels spinning in Chanyeol’s mind and he leans in trying to kiss him, but Chanyeol was quicker, turning his face and Jongin’s plump lips land on Chanyeol’s jaw.

“You need to sleep.” Chanyeol’s voice is cold, keeping his face neutral. He knows Jongin wants to use him once more as a warm body, and Chanyeol can’t let him use him again, he just can’t. It hurts him too much. 

Jongin’s lips twist into a deep scowl, his eyes a reflection of betrayal and hurt but he isn’t even looking at Chanyeol, instead he’s glaring at Chanyeol’s chest with Sehun’s words echoing in his mind. _You were just somebody that I’d kiss sometimes._ Jongin was doing the same thing Sehun did to him, to Chanyeol. He was no better. 

He can almost see Sehun’s smug face on Chanyeol’s chest, and in a burst of rage, he shoves Chanyeol away, heading straight to his room ignoring Chanyeol’s calls for him. Chanyeol’s footsteps were close to his own and before Chanyeol could take a step into his bedroom, Jongin slams the door shut in his face. 

Chanyeol curses faintly under his breath, he stared at the door with tense shoulders and a conflicted heart. 

Chanyeol presses his head against the door and closed his eyes. He cares for Jongin so deeply, ever since they’ve become friends. He wants to mend Jongin’s tortured soul, he’s seen first hand constantly the cracked pieces of Jongin and his struggle with love. He’d seen the other in his worst and best, and Chanyeol just wants to ease Jongin’s sorrow, but then he’d be letting himself be played once again. He can’t keep pushing his own feelings because he wanted to ease Jongin’s pain, disregarding his own.

He notices how lonely and empty Jongin can be sometimes when he doesn’t think anybody is watching how much of a fake smile he’ll put on for show. Chanyeol wishes he knew who’s the person that stole Jongin’s happiness and fractured his heart into no repair. Because at least then, he’d have some type of solution to aid. But tonight, there was a new rawness and anguish in Jongin’s orbs that Chanyeol has never seen before and he wishes he hadn’t, because that was the tipping point at him. 

Chanyeol looks down and can see the shadow of Jongin’s feet on the other side of the door waiting for him, praying that he’ll enter and make him forget again. He can hear Jongin’s faint sniffles and Chanyeol decided his fate tonight. He’ll let himself be used. Again and again, if it meant it’ll ease the pain Jongin carries. Chanyeol didn’t care about breaking his own heart if it meant that he’s been able to use those pieces to fix Jongin’s. 

“Jongin…” Chanyeol knocked, and without a second to waste the door opens revealing Jongin’s miserable face, all tear-stained and tinted in rose, a mixture of crying and alcohol. 

“Make me forget him tonight, ple—“ Chanyeol lips are on Jongin’s, and every rule on boundaries and love were thrown out of the window. 

Chanyeol holds Jongin firmly, sliding his arm around the latter’s torso securing him and Jongin grip tightens as if Chanyeol’s some lifeline. Jongin is rough and is touch-starved, running his hands through Chanyeol’s hair, tugging at the hair in the back of his nape greedily needing more. 

Jongin pulls away mid-kiss, saliva coating their lips and oxygen entering their lungs for a moment. “Turn the light off.” And Chanyeol obeys without argument. 

Chanyeol closes the door with his foot and turns off the lights engulfing them in darkness. He knows that Jongin will never let him see his body, even when he knows why and knows what they are and a small string in his heart snaps at the thought of being unworthy. 

Jongin was laying on the bed with his clothes long discarded on the floor, and Chanyeol strips off his sweatpants in a rush, unable to take off his shirt because Jongin’s was being impatient and yanks him on the bed, on top of him. Their kiss was heated and they fought for dominance but Chanyeol easily won, as he nips Jongin’s bottom lip feeling Jongin’s smirk against his mouth. It felt right, Jongin thought. Chanyeol’s hands roam his body, lost in their endless kissing not rushing, but Jongin needed more. He reminds Chanyeol by pulling his shirt over his torso, and Chanyeol receives the message, yanking his shirt over his head and throws it roughly to the side so he could go back to kissing Jongin as fast as possible. Jongin runs his hands up and down Chanyeol’s muscular back, dragging his nails, gently grazing the skin. Chanyeol arches into the touch, moaning softly against his lips. 

He pulls away, and half-stood up to catch his breath and looked down at Jongin’s naked body stretched out on the bed, for too long to be comfortable. Jongin’s chest tightens unpleasantly at the thought of Chanyeol looking at the atrocities covering his body because the window was letting in the street light, pooling dimly into the room giving them some faint light. Jongin reaches out to pull Chanyeol back, to distract him, afraid Chanyeol is changing his mind now he’s seen him.

Chanyeol doesn’t let himself be pulled back in or pushes away Jongin’s hand instead he laces their fingers together, a small smile playing on his swollen lips. 

“Baby…” Chanyeol murmurs and Jongin can’t help but look away waiting for the worst to come. 

“What?” Jongin croaked weakly, tensing up as Chanyeol runs his hand over one of his scars on his mid-thigh. 

Most of Jongin’s left side was scarred badly, burned to be accurate. His chest, stomach, and forearm were the most damaged with the skin not only a different pigmentation to the rest of his color but they had a rough texture and were slightly raised. The burns ran all the way till his leg, smeared and harsh-looking. 

“You’re…” Chanyeol kissed Jongin’s knuckle, and Jongin pulls his hand away in evident apprehension, he even closes his eyes. He couldn’t bare to hear Chanyeol humiliate his skin, it’ll break him completely. Not his Chanyeollie. “So beautiful…” 

Just like that, all of the lack of faith washed away like a cool summer breeze replaced by the warm sun-rays full of affection and fondness. Jongin opens his eyes just in time for Chanyeol to descend on him once again, kissing him all the more passionately, feeling Chanyeol caress his scars tenderly, trailing down his neck and collarbones to kiss them in a fervent manner to show Jongin they’re nothing to be ashamed off and just for tonight, Jongin lets himself believe. 

(—————)

It was the middle of the week now, and Sehun was beyond exhausted. He was worn-out with all the constant running. He was running back and forth for Baekhyun at the daycare, he was running between classes and running away from his emotions.

Sehun peeked into the window of the one-level daycare, watching the kids play together and he can spot Baekhyun talking animately with his hands to another toddler as they build blocks together. He never wanted this, he never asked for a child or for Jongin to come back into his life and stir it all up. He was fine before, dare he say happy even. 

“I’m such a loser now,” Sehun muttered, his eyes following every movement of Baekhyun’s. 

He didn’t expect caring for a child would be this stressful and always on some time-crunch. He liked to leisure back, take his time, and enjoy life. But now, Baekhyun is ruining that for him. He isn’t caring for himself anymore, but for a child too and God was it petrifying. A life on his hands. Jongin hasn’t reached out to him since their fight, and Sehun didn’t dare to either. It made him anxious because the weekend was two days away and that meant two days away from meeting Jongin since Sehun has to work on the weekend while Jongin had told him prior that he’ll take care of Baekhyun then. He isn’t sure if the arrangements still hold, he’ll have to text Chanyeol indirectly probably, he’s the only middleman between them. 

Sehun winces at the thought of starting his first job this weekend, a dishwasher. He has definitely hit rock-bottom now. He drags his feet to the front door of _Oasis,_ his hand on the handle unable to make himself pull open the door open. 

“I’d be out hanging out with the guys right now, not picking up a kid.” Sehun grumbled, staring at the door handle, before sighing. “…My kid.” 

Sehun is in desperate need of a nap, for a year or two. He thinks back to Jongin and his words. He was being horrible he knows, his words and actions that day and years before that were unforgivable to Jongin. But Sehun promised to not try and hurt Jongin anymore, which is why he always abided by their agreement of never being friends, talking, or even being in the same space. But then Baekhyun came into the picture and dragged up all of the past Sehun has been hiding and in an instant all of Sehun’s hardworking of having a high-status reputation went down the drain in the span of a few days. Sehun was labeled and tainted, a target for people to mock and ridicule. No longer the single and known bachelor on campus with a mysterious presence around him. 

“Is this how Jongin felt back in high school?” Sehun whispered to himself. 

The door tugs open and Sehun lets himself fall in, surprised that it’s a push and pull door. “What the—“

“You were standing outside for a while, I was worried if the door was stuck again!” Tiffany explained with a nervous smile watching Sehun enter the daycare. 

Sehun closes his eyes for a second trying to not let the embarrassment drown him, he probably looked idiotic talking to himself. 

“I was just talking, on,” Sehun taps the side of his head trying to use his dramatic pause to finish his lie. “Bluetooth. Wireless. Erm, headphones, y’know them, right?” 

Tiffany nods her head politely, as she steps to the side and calls Baekhyun over. 

“Sehun!” Baekhyun shrieked at the sight of his father, running up to him with wide arms as he hugs Sehun’s leg tightly in a warm greeting. 

Sehun can’t help but let out a small smile at the happy welcome, patting Baekhyun’s soft locks and just like that guilt eats him up for thinking awful thoughts about Baekhyun moments ago. It wasn’t the toddler’s fault that he’s been born in a world where his mother ditched him and his father is still in some denial of his existence. 

“Hey, can you go get your bag and coat for me?” Sehun kept his voice light, trying to not let the overwhelming sensation of shame control him. 

Baekhyun runs off to the small corner where the daycare provided cubbyholes, pulling out his items. 

“I wanted to ask, even though I know it isn’t my place and you can tell me to go away,” Tiffany started fidgeting with her clasped hands, and Sehun grew nervous moving his gaze from Baekhyun to her. “But I’ve noticed Baekhyun doesn’t refer to you as a dad. Is it because the gentleman you came with previous is his actual….” 

Sehun isn’t sure of how to answer, because all of his reasons sounded immature and downright a joke. What is he going to tell her, that he told Baekhyun to refer to him by his name instead of dad because it still gives him a chance at make-believe that this is all a dream and Baekhyun isn’t actually his? He can’t possibly say that. 

“No, he is not Jongin’s, he is…” Sehun can’t even say it aloud that Baekhyun is his, his lips won’t move. “We’re a casual household, so yeah. He calls me whatever he likes, and vise versa. Super chill. Uh, yeah.” 

Tiffany hums in understanding, before rummaging through the stacks of paper by the narrow table beside the door. Sehun studies the daycare once more, this was more of a house turned into a daycare with the way everything is designed. That’s what Tiffany probably meant in their first encounter about a small space. No kidding, he thought. 

“Help Baekhyunnie.” The 4-year-old uttered bringing Sehun back to reality. 

Sehun squatted on the floor, aiding the child in putting on his puffy red coat and zipping it up for him all the way and tugging on the hood. Baekhyun tugs it off, and Sehun simply tugs it back on and the pair go back and forth. 

“It’s cold outside.”  
“Don’t wanna.”  
“You’ll get sick.”  
“Don’t like it.” 

“Min wouldn’t do this.” Sehun has discovered very quickly, that Min the Bunny was a very useful tool in parenting. Whenever Baekhyun resisted on anything, Sehun would use Min for some psychology technique to Make Baekhyun comply, and it worked 9 out of 10 times. He’s been reading it on the blogs after Baekhyun falls asleep. 

“Found it!” Tiffany declares a little out of breath with her fringe messed up, holding onto a crumpled piece of paper like some kind of trophy. 

Sehun and Baekhyun pause from their bickering, focusing on the daycare employee in confusion. 

“A ‘Daddy and Me’ support group!” Tiffany held out the poster for Sehun to see. 

“I wanted to give it to you last time, but I forgot. They’re like all dads with their kids, they sit down and talk about everything and anything. It’s non-profit and I’ve never encountered gay parents in daycare before, you and your partner are my first actually,” Tiffany admired shyly, handing the poster to Sehun. “I thought you could benefit from it. If you want.” 

Sehun surveyed the colorful poster with unease, he had no desire to go and sit in some circle with other men as if it’s some Alcohol Anonymous meeting talking. His conscious was doing a fine job of talking to him. But he tucks the poster into his pocket out of politeness for Tiffany’s sake. 

“Thank you, I’ll definitely try it out.” Sehun bowed, taking Baekhyun’s backpack from the toddler. “We better go now, I don’t want to miss the bus. Ha-ha. Okay. Bye.” 

Without waiting for a reply, Sehun pushes Baekhyun out of the daycare as they scurry off quickly. As soon as they exit the alleyway, Sehun lets out an exaggerated groan. “A support group? Does it look like I should be in a support group? I signed my kid to your daycare, not to be on some waitlist to be a potential AA member.” 

“Min said hood off,” Baekhyun answers instead, waving the bunny at Sehun smugly. 

Sehun sticks his tongue out at Min the Bunny, receiving a gasp from Baekhyun who hugs the plushie appalled by the adult’s behaviour. Sehun readjusts Baekhyun’s backpack strap on his shoulder, his book bag on his other shoulder. He was doing just fine with the blogs, no need for a support group. He wasn’t that much of a loser. 

“Did you have fun today?” Sehun asks, trying to divert his attention. 

Baekhyun holds onto the hem of Sehun’s shirt as they walk down the street together. “Fun! So much fun!” 

“Yeah? What did you do?” 

The 4-year-old boasted with a grin plastered on his face. “Miss Tiffany got the dress-up box! I was a pirate and Jiyon was a princess!” 

“Arr!” Sehun created a hook with his hand playfully, and Baekhyun mimicked him excited. 

Baekhyun was definitely less tense than the first night Sehun met him if anything Baekhyun looked like a happy child. He was settling well with Sehun, almost accustomed to his new living circumstances, unlike Sehun who still had his moments of weakness. It was surprising how quickly the toddler settled in, it made Sehun think of all the small comments here and there about Mina and her couch-surfing. 

“And Baekhyunnie played house with Jiyon and Youngjae! I cooked the best rice-balls!”

They pause in their step, waiting for the street light to turn green so they can cross. 

“Rice balls? You like them?” Sehun asked with furrowed brows, watching Baekhyun nod his head. 

“Mummy makes the best rice-balls! She calls me her little helper.” Baekhyun informed, his small smile slipping off his face at the memories. “I miss her…” 

Sehun runs his free hand throw his hair messily, humming in understanding. He shared good memories with Mina in their short-lived relationship back in high school, he just wished she hadn’t done a runner. He wished he could maybe talk some sense into why she dropped Baekhyun and left without a trace. She was always lively, laughing with people and carefree. He thinks back to their meeting and there was no correlation between the Mina he’d known back in school and now. She not only looked startlingly different, but she acted differently. Tense. Stiff.

“We can make rice-balls if you want,” Sehun suggested trying to lighten the situation, as they cross the road. “I think we can manage. It’s like play-dough. What would go wrong?” 

Baekhyun shrugs, eyes on the pavement. His mother has been gone for over a week now and he hopes she’ll get back soon so he can show her all his new clothes and toys and his friends back at daycare. Then she’ll give him a big kiss and a hug telling him he was being such a good boy and take him back home. Like usual, whenever he stayed at her friends’ houses.

“How about pancakes for dinner?” Sehun says, not liking the frown on the child’s face. Whenever Baekhyun is upset, Sehun’s stomach clenches uncomfortably wanting to soothe the toddler. 

“Min thinks yes…” Baekhyun answers softly, making the bunny nod his head and Sehun sighs in relief. 

Jongin would have been impressed with his impromptu damage control, maybe throw a side comment about pancakes for dinner and then he’d probably argue that pancakes—Sehun stops his train of thought from getting carried away immediately. 

Sehun doesn’t deserve Jongin, that’s why he keeps pushing him away. But he can’t help but yearned to be with him. Jongin wanted it too, and he told Sehun. So, why can’t they be together? It’s not that easy, Sehun answered himself. 

“Min wants to see Jonginnie.” Baekhyun waves the plushie in Sehun’s general direction and the adult holds back an eye roll. It seems that Min the Bunny was being used as a tactic from both ends, not just his. 

“Yeah, well I want to see him as well. But I was being my usual horrible self and made him cry and I wanted to cry as well but I had to pretend that I didn’t, so he can believe me when I lied to him and now I feel like shit and I just ugh…” Sehun trailed off in his rant, his shoulders sagged at the flashbacks of Jongin’s hurt face. 

Although Sehun was speedy with his words, Baekhyun managed to catch the keywords. 

“You made Jonginnie cry!” Baekhyun gasped scandalously, and Sehun groans at the upcoming headache. Baekhyun was Jongin’s number one fan, and now Sehun won’t hear the end of it. 

“When we see him on Saturday I’ll apologize, okay? I’ll tell him sorry.” Sehun assured hastily not wanting to talk to a stubborn Baekhyun. 

The toddler squints his eyes and pouts his lips trying to read Sehun, and after a beat of silence, he nods his head satisfied. “Sehun needs to say sorry to Jonginnie.” 

“I will,” Sehun promised. He’ll need to talk to Jongin regardless, because of this situation. He’ll totally understand when Jongin tells him he no longer can help him. He’s done more than enough. 

Sehun can see the bus-stop, and he nudges Baekhyun who looks up at him confused. “The first one to touch the bench is the winner.” 

Sehun doesn’t want to think about Jongin for much longer, and he needs to change the mood knowing Baekhyun will keep nagging him about Jongin all night long if he doesn’t distract him now. Baekhyun’s smile returns at the sound of the game, he stuffs Min inside of his jacket with the plushie’s head popping out at his chest. “Okay!” 

“Alright. 3. 2. 1. Go!” 

Baekhyun runs as fast as his small feet can take him as Sehun slows his pace behind him, pulling out all of the acting techniques and methods he has learnt when he took an acting class for one semester. His ideology behind it was that he could always benefit from the acting if he’s been put in a sticky situation or suddenly scouted to be a future model….or keep a straight face when telling Jongin that he doesn’t love him. Fuck. 

“I win!” Baekhyun cheered jumping up and down, pulling Min out of his jacket and holds the toy’s hands as they spin in their spot. 

Sehun plasters on a smile, as he falls on the bench in exaggeration, dropping their bags on the ground. “You are like, oh my God, so fast.” 

Baekhyun beams at the compliment, stomping his feet in delight. “See Min, I told you Baekhyunnie will win!” 

Sehun glances at the bus schedule then at his watch, 7 minutes till the next bus. He rests his head on the side of the plastic bench-shelter, his smile fading instantly. He stares at Baekhyun’s shoes, not really listening to the toddler’s babbles his mind occupied with his fight with Jongin. He missed him. A lot. He thought he buried all of his feelings for Jongin since their fall out, but the fight lightened his feelings on fire and now he can’t do anything to extinguish the burn in his heart. 

Sehun feels a warm body on him and he shifts his gaze to Baekhyun hugging his waist and Sehun doesn’t move, startled. Baekhyun doesn’t pull away, and Sehun blinks and that’s when he sees his tears fall on Baekhyun’s hair. He didn’t realize he’s been crying. Sehun pulls out his hand from his pocket and wipes his damp eyes with the back of it roughly. 

“Sorry..” His voice cracked, and Baekhyun looks up at him with a soft smile on his lips like sunshine. 

“You look like mummy, when she needs a hug.” 

Sehun holds back a whimper, he just felt helpless. He was so alone. It was terrifying. He had nobody to confide in. His friends left him when he became a burden, and his family was judgmental and conservative so he could never explain to them his situation, and that was a whole other problem on its own. He hasn’t been able to sleep, his dark thoughts eating him up at night and his lectures were demanding and heavy. If he wasn’t studying, he was with Baekhyun and vise versa. His life revolved around Baekhyun now, and he was just so worn-out. He never asked for any of this. 

Sehun thinks back to the times he’d come to Jongin when he was stressed, he’d know exactly how to make Sehun feel better. But Sehun never told him, that just his mere presence was comforting and sweet enough. Sehun didn’t treat him right, not the way Jongin deserved. 

“It’s okay, Sehun.” 

Baekhyun goes on his tiptoes and tries to wipe Sehun’s damp cheeks with his small fingers and Sehun just engulfs him into a hug, wrapping his arms around the toddler’s body his face tucked into Baekhyun’s shoulder trying to calm himself. 

(—————)

The weekend couldn’t have come quicker, it was apprehensive for everybody with the tension in the air. It was Sehun’s first night working, ever. It was Baekhyun’s first time seeing Jongin since their shopping trip. It was Jongin’s first time interacting with anybody outside of the apartment, he didn’t even leave the apartment since that night. 

“Sehun says he’s downstairs,” Chanyeol says, texting Sehun back their floor and apartment number. 

Jongin and Chanyeol were on the couch, with Jongin pressed against him, enjoying the warmth Chanyeol seems to radiate as he playing with the hem of Chanyeol’s sweater absentmindedly. Chanyeol can feel Jongin tense up at the name, so he plays with Jongin’s hair trying to loosen the tension. 

“You guys still fighting?”  
“Hm.”

Chanyeol snorts. “Can you please tell me about it?”

Jongin gave him a dirty look, but to Chanyeol he just looked like an angry kitten. 

“I’ll get it out of you eventually.” 

Ever since they slept with one another, Jongin has been extra clingy. He doesn’t want to be left alone, he just needs somebody with him to remind him to breath, and not fall back into his dark hole. Chanyeol complied, he’d hug Jongin when the latter wanted or cuddled on the couch like what they were doing now or just sit in the same space as they studied. But they haven’t shared a kiss or anything more intimate since. 

The morning after, when Chanyeol woke up he was surprised that Jongin didn’t leave the bed already because that’s what Jongin usually does whenever they fuck. He was even more surprised when Jongin kissed him tenderly, fully sober with a hangover. 

_  
“What was that for?”_

_Jongin’s hand rest on Chanyeol’s chest, as he looks up at the latter. “An apology.”_

_“Nothing to apologize for.” Chanyeol places his hand on top of Jongin’s._

_Jongin shakes his head lightly, unable to hold eye contact. “I used you because I know how you feel about me…”_

_Chanyeol gave him a lopsided smile before pulling Jongin close to him, caging him in his arms as he kisses Jongin’s forehead. “Shut up, I’m not a child Jongin-ah.”_

_“But—“_

_Chanyeol shushes him and lets out an airy laugh, swallowing down the rising feelings. He rests his chin on Jongin’s shoulder, pulling him even closer. “Let’s just sleep. We’ve got an hour before class starts.”_

_Jongin huffs, but he twists himself so he’s facing Chanyeol’s chest and he nestles closer, listening for Chanyeol’s heartbeat, his eyelids heavy.  
_

The doorbell rings and Jongin jumps out of the warm cocoon himself and Chanyeol were in, as he runs into the hallway. “If he asks for me, tell him I’m showering or something!” 

Chanyeol laughs at the childish behaviour and gets up from his seat to open the door. 

“Hey!” 

Sehun smiles at him nervously, his hands planted on Baekhyun’s shoulders as Chanyeol ushers them in. Baekhyun looks around trying to spot Jongin but he can’t find his favorite adult anywhere. 

“Hello. Thanks so much for this, you and Jongin are lifesavers.” Sehun announced handing Chanyeol, the bag that contained Baekhyun’s belongings. He tries to scan the apartment in a discreet manner of Jongin’s presence but is unable to spot him. 

“Where’s Jonginnie?” Baekhyun asks with a pout, and Chanyeol laughs at the endearing sight. 

“Jongin is in the shower, won’t take long. I promise, little dude.” 

Sehun squats down to Baekhyun’s height, unzipping the toddler’s jacket which revealed a stuffed Min inside. “Jongin and Chanyeol will take care of you for a few hours while I go work. Like we talked about on the way over here.” 

Baekhyun nods his head excitedly, patting Min’s bunny ears with care. “Yes, yes!” 

“He will be safe in our hands, don’t worry captain. Go get that money.” Chanyeol saluted Sehun with a wide grin as the other salutes him back a little awkwardly. 

Sehun takes a deep breath, thankful for the encouraging words. He heads for the door only to stumble at the strong force around his legs, he looks down at Baekhyun’s small body hugging his legs. Sehun hugs him back, patting the toddler’s head. “I’ll pick you up, don’t worry.” 

The single father notices that Baekhyun would become anxious whenever he has to be left on his own, and Sehun knows that it has to do with Mina and how she ditched the kid on him. The last thing he wants to do is to worsen Baekhyun’s anxiety and cause him to develop abandonment issues. He was watching an indie film on some girl that has a bunch of problems all because of her fucked up parents, and Sehun may have invested into the movie a little too deeply. 

“We can even call Sehun whenever you miss him, and you guys can talk,” Chanyeol adds and Sehun beams at him, gratefully. 

“Yes, yes, of course.” 

Baekhyun gives Sehun a thumbs up and the latter mimics him confused, watching Baekhyun press their thumbs together. “Good luck.” 

With that final statement, Sehun takes his leave with lighter shoulders knowing Baekhyun is safe. Jongin comes out of his hiding place in the shadows of the hallway, as soon as the door clicks shut, ignoring the smug look on Chanyeol’s face. 

“Jonginnie!” 

Baekhyun shrieks running up to the adult with open arms and Jongin picks him up and swings him around. Jongin doesn’t realize how much he’s missed Baekhyun until he’d seen the toddler in front of him. 

“Kid!” 

Chanyeol watches the warm interaction with a wide smile, Jongin’s mood instantly shifted and Chanyeol couldn’t be more grateful. Chanyeol wanted to kiss the precious dimple on Jongin’s cheek but stops himself from the thought. No. No feelings, he reminds himself. 

“I didn’t get a hug or anything, I can see the favouritism from here.” Chanyeol teased, with crossed arms. 

Jongin smirks at the comment, still holding onto Baekhyun. “I’m Baekhyunnie’s favourite, right?” 

“Uh-huh! Jonginnie one!” Baekhyun confirms, holding out his index finger to show rank.

Chanyeol fake gasps in exaggeration, holding onto his chest in very Shakespeare-worthy performance slowly sinking to his knees. Chanyeol peeks up at them, pausing from his role for a moment, watching Baekhyun dissolve into sweet giggles, and Jongin never looked more ethereal with his crescent eyes and free laughter. It made Chanyeol swell up with pride that he was the reason behind it. 

“I’m glad you find my pain humorous, both of you are mean.” Chanyeol stuck out his tongue at the pair, as he dusts his legs after standing up. 

Baekhyun asks to be put down and as soon as his little feet land on the ground, he runs past Chanyeol, who thought he’ll receive a hug and ends up chuckling, and picks up Min the Bunny beside his bag. 

“Baekhyunnie and Min want to play!” 

Chanyeol nods his head. “Sounds good! How about hide and seek?” 

Jongin’s smile falters for a moment, flashbacks of the shopping trip when Baekhyun talked about playing with his mother and their own version of hide and seek. He’ll show Baekhyun the real game. One that doesn’t involve disappearing for hours on end. 

Jongin plants his palm on top fo Baekhyun’s head, ruffling it a little. 

“How about me, Baekhyun and Min will all hide and Chanyeol will look for us?” 

Baekhyun’s eyes shined and he began jumping in his spot. He never played hide and seek with so many people before. It was usually just him and Mummy, and he’d always win because Mummy never finds him. Hours on end too. “Inside the house?” 

Chanyeol scrunches up his face. “Yeah? Of course, inside.” 

Jongin almost scoffs at the thought of Mina leaving Baekhyun all alone and going off to do whatever she wanted, but he shakes it off. “Chanyeol count to ten, and no peeking!” 

“10. 9. 8. 7.” 

Baekhyun couldn’t help but squeal, this was so exciting. He looks around the living room like some type of detective skimming the area for a rough blueprint, of where everything is but in Baekhyun’s case, hiding places. Jongin runs to the curtains, his upper half-concealed poorly, while his lower half is fully exposed. 

“6. 5. 4. 3.” 

Baekhyun dives behind the kitchen counter, clutching onto Min tightly trying to keep quiet. Mummy told him he was the best at being quiet. 

“2. 1! Ready or not, I’m coming!” 

Chanyeol bursts out laughing, claps his hands at the ridiculous hiding place of Jongin as soon as he spots him. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Jongin tries to not laugh along, covering his mouth knowing how silly he must have looked. He’s just lucky that nobody else could witness him in such a circumstance because his image will be ruined. 

“Is someone under the coffee table?” Chanyeol narrated, crouching to scan. “Nope! Not here!” 

Chanyeol hums loudly as he looks for Baekhyun around the house, poking Jongin in the stomach as he passes by. 

“Wow! I didn’t expect to be playing with professionals here! I can’t find anyone!” Chanyeol announced, his booming voice echoing. “You guys are so good at this!” 

Jongin holds himself back from cursing, about to retaliate on the sudden attack but Chanyeol shuffled away before he could get hit. 

“Oh I know, I haven’t checked the kitchen,” Chanyeol pauses to see if Baekhyun is going to cave in and make a noise but the youngster has proven to be a good contender. Baekhyun presses himself further back, trying to make himself as small as possible seeing Chanyeol’s looming shadow. “Maybe they’re hiding behind the…fridge!” 

Chanyeol jumps into an attack stance and Baekhyun isn’t there. “Oh.” 

Baekhyun stares at the back of Chanyeol’s lanky frame, slowly turns around in slow-motion, and Baekhyun unable to hold himself back shrieks as soon as they make eye-contact and sprints. He ducks under Chanyeol’s arms and rushes into the open living room, a laughing-and-screaming mess. 

“I’m going to catch you!” Chanyeol stood on one side of the couch, locking eyes with Baekhyun on the other side. 

“Baekhyunnie is fast!” 

Jongin peeks out of the curtains, watching the chase with interest hoping Baekhyun will outmanoeuvre Chanyeol and his gangly limbs. And just when Baekhyun was about to run down the hallway, Chanyeol captures him. Tossing the toddler in the air, and catches him blowing raspberries in his stomach in victory. 

“I got you!” Chanyeol roared playfully.

Baekhyun’s gleeful laugher spreads in the apartment like a happy virus and Jongin couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the endearing view before him and that’s when Chanyeol pretends to have spotted him, and Jongin pulls the curtain back over his face in a panic. As if he hasn’t been caught from the beginning. 

_Cute,_ Chanyeol thought. 

“I think I know where Jongin is hiding,” The lanky male wiggles his eyebrows at Baekhyun, carefully setting him down on the couch. Baekhyun points at Jongin’s two-meter legs and covers his mouth with both hands, the anticipation killing him. “Jongin! Where are you~?” 

Jongin closes his eyes briefly, trying to not jump out and thump Chanyeol for his unnecessary teasing. But before he could do any of that, Chanyeol clasps his hands around Jongin’s waist pulling him out from behind the curtain, causing Jongin to yelp. 

“Got you,” Chanyeol whispered in Jongin’s ear, not letting go of Jongin. 

“Yeolie!” Jongin whined, trying to not look embarrassed by his surprised reaction moments ago. He touches his cheeks to check if they’re as warm as he thinks. “Baekhyun help me!” 

Baekhyun jumps off the couch and runs to interfere, pulling at Jongin’s extended arms with all his might. “I will save you, Jonginnie!” 

Jongin elbows Chanyeol in the chest, and it gets the desired effect. Chanyeol lets go of him, as he coughs and Jongin lets himself be pulled by Baekhyun the pair celebrating the rescue. 

“Uncalled for..” Chanyeol wheezes, doubling over. 

Jongin stops his celebration, taken back by Chanyeol’s strong coughing. Did he hit him that hard? He walks up to the latter, crouching a little and tilting his head to check on Chanyeol. “Hey, you alright—Ah!” 

Chanyeol attacks him again, but this time he throws Jongin over his shoulder ignoring the squirming. 

“Karma!” Chanyeol singsonged, spinning on the spot and Baekhyun holds his arms out. 

“Put me down!” Jongin complained, but it fell on deaf ears. 

Chanyeol picks up Baekhyun placing him on his other shoulder, balancing the pair carefully as he twirls a little more slowly. Jongin notices Baekhyun spreading his arms out, his mouth stretched into a toothy grin. 

“I’m flying! Jonginnie look, look! Woah~” 

Jongin couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore at their amusing predicament. Chanyeol’s shaking shoulders told him, he was in hysteria too. Jongin most certainly did not expect to be held up in the air with Baekhyun like a pair of birds. The tension was seeping out of his body, and Jongin stretched his arms out mimicking Baekhyun, the trio’s laughter bouncing in the apartment. 

(—————)

Sehun holds back the vomit that kept travelling up his throat because the sink looked like some murder scene. The plates were never-ending, and the food was half-eaten and soggy under the pressured water and he has to wear used pink rubber gloves. Used. Pink. Rubber. Gloves. 

“Excuse me,” Sehun called to his co-worker beside him, as she glances up at him with dead eyes and pursed lips. “Hi, yes, hello, aren’t you supposed to be scrapping the food in the trash as well, not just give me the dirty plates to clean?” 

She scoffs at the nerve of Sehun, as she piles up the next stack of plates she purposely flips the barely-eaten risotto bowl directly into Sehun’s hands, smirking at Sehun’s loud gagging. 

“Don’t tell me what to do, dishwasher.” 

And Sehun nods his head terrified, breathing through his mouth trying to not run out and quit. She pushes the dirty dishes trolley back out into the big buffet, ready to collect the plates, and as soon as she turns her back Sehun shakes his hands violently trying to get rid of the warm risotto trickling down his bare arms.

“Psychopath.” Sehun shout-whispers to himself, glancing around warily if she’s lurking around for round 2. 

His phone rings, and he couldn’t be more grateful. He pulls out his phone, surprised by the video-call from Chanyeol.

“I’m going to the toilet!” Sehun announces to nobody in particular since everyone was busy. 

He rushes out and into the back alley, setting himself down on the stairs nodding his head warily at a few staff members smoking in the corner before tugging off his rubber gloves, placing them on his lap and answers the call. “Hello.” 

“Sehun!” Baekhyun’s ear-splitting voice is the first thing he hears. 

The toddler looked like a cat, with black whispers and orange stripes on his face. Sehun pulls the screen closer to make sure he hasn’t begun hallucinating because the hot air inside the kitchen should be illegal. “What is on your face? Is that a filter? Or-or I don’t know, marker?” 

Chanyeol is suddenly filling the screen, before adjusting the positioning to show himself and Baekhyun. His face was also very colourful, with streaks of blue and green, and a white unmistakable handprint on his cheek. 

“Hey, champ! We were busy painting, it started on paper then we got carried away,” Chanyeol explains light-heartedly, rubbing the back of his nape. “This is actually Minseok’s, it said on the packet that it’s non-toxic. But yeah, we stole it but don’t tell him, shh!” 

Sehun can’t help but smile, Chanyeol was so friendly and easygoing. “You have my word.” 

“Baekhyun was worried you got lost on your way to work, and I thought we should call you to check.” Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun who waves at Sehun, looking like an adorable kitten. “See? He’s wearing his uniform, hair-net and all.” 

Sehun nods his head, cringing at how ridiculous he must have looked, and that’s saying something to their face-painting. “Thank you for checking up on me, Baekhyun. That’s nice of you to do.”

Baekhyun says, jumping up and down beside Chanyeol. “When are you coming back? Let’s play together!” 

Sehun nods his head with a weak smile, he’d rather do anything than be here right now. Chanyeol seems to notice his change of demeanour because the screen fills up with the adult-only, Baekhyun’s endless chatter in the background to Min and Jongin. 

“Hey, the first night of work is always the worst. You feel lost.” Chanyeol comforts him, and Sehun can’t help but rest his head on the metal bars of the short 10-step stairs. “Don’t get so discouraged so quickly.” 

“It’s disgusting…” Sehun felt childish about complaining, but he couldn’t help it. It was revolting and he just wants to throw in the towel already. 

“You’ll change positions so quickly, you won’t even remember what dishwashing is.” A colourful Chanyeol assured, and Sehun nodded his head. “Just look at it with a cup half-full mindset. You only work on the weekend, and have the rest of the week free! I bet you get free food to take home, since it’s a buffet, right?” 

Sehun nods his head, he wasn’t so sure of taking on the greasy left-over food. Before tonight he has never dared to step into a buffet, but ever since Baekhyun he shouldn’t be surprised by life’s twists and turns anymore. 

Chanyeol’s smiles at him encouragingly and give him a firm nod. “Good. We’ll leave you to it, so you can give your boss a good impression of you not slacking off. Baekhyun say bye to your dad!” 

Chanyeol shifts the camera to Baekhyun who was standing on the couch and Sehun catches a glimpse of Jongin seated beside him playing with his phone, a black streak across his face. And just like that, Sehun feels his heart dropped in the pit of his stomach.

“Bye-bye!” Baekhyun says cutely, waving Min’s arms into the camera.

Chanyeol waves his hand too, and just before the video-chat ends, Sehun can see Jongin in the background staring back at him. 

(—————)

Baekhyun was passed out on Jongin’s chest, and the adult seemed close to falling asleep as well. They’ve played very well together, it was seamless and Jongin was thankful for that. They ate some curry that Minseok made last night, it was still amazing and both Jongin and Chanyeol sent their thanks on the roommate group chat, Chanyeol sent a few pictures of their painted faces eating the delicious food for praise. 

“I need to pick up my laptop from Jongdae, I won’t be long.” Chanyeol patted Jongin’s soft hair from behind the couch, tugging on his hood as he walks up to the door. 

Jongdae, Jongin’s co-worker and friend, lived in the same apartment complex as them. He lives with Chanyeol’s older cousin, Junmyeon, who has graduated two years ago and is still unemployed. 

Jongin lets out a hum of approval, cuddling up to Baekhyun who tightens his grip on Jongin’s collar, drooling. “I don’t know why you trust him with your laptop when he ruined mine.” 

Chanyeol chuckles at the memory, shoving on his black-and-white slippers. “He promised to be extra careful, after spilling coffee on yours.”

Jongin rolls his eyes, his lips formed into a pout and Chanyeol shakes his head with a smile. “Don’t fall asleep.” 

“Can’t make promises,” Jongin calls after him, the door making a soft click. 

All that Jongin could feel was warmth, Baekhyun’s tiny body generated so much heat, and the hot meal added to that. He could just close his eyes and drift to sleep, his energy maxed out after playing endlessly with Baekhyun. But as soon as his lids close, Sehun flashes behind them, and Jongin snaps his eyes open, grumbling. 

He was secretly glad Chanyeol was such a good conversationalist because Sehun’s face earlier in the video-chat looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown. After Chanyeol’s small pep-talk, Sehun straightened up and Jongin wanted to praise him for not backing down so quickly because it’s the first time he’s getting his hands dirty. 

The doorbell rings and Jongin thinks it Chanyeol probably forgetting his phone or something. So, he settles Baekhyun on the couch with care tugging on the blanket over his tiny body as he slides to the door via his socks. 

“You forgot your phone, didn’t….” The words die out as soon as he realizes that it’s Sehun in front of him. 

They stared at each other as if it were a silent argument. Their eyes battling one another. 

Sehun was definitely sleep deprived. Exhaustion stretched on every inch of his face, with his dull skin and achy-muscles. He would be lucky to even sleep for a little over 5 hours, with all of his running around town. But he doesn’t have time, between his assignments, lectures, daycare, Baekhyun, cooking and playing, and now work. Sehun was dog-tired. 

Jongin looked miserable. He was unshaven, dark circles under his bleary eyes and he wasn’t even standing straight. Jongin could pull off at being a zombie, Sehun thought. After all, he doesn’t know that Jongin has skipped all his lectures this week because his heart ached too much, lying to his professors that he had the flu. He looked like he had the flu with his terrible appearance. 

Unable to stop the swirls of emotions in him, Sehun does the unthinkable and slams his lips against Jongin’s. His mouth tasted like peppermint, cool and warm all at the same time, and Sehun didn’t want to think any longer, holding Jongin closer to him as he switches their positions, shutting the door with Jongin’s back. 

But it was short-lived because Jongin pushes him away with thunderous watery eyes, and a stiff scowl. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun said in barely more than a whisper, his own eyes teary. 

Jongin crumbles at the words. He holds Sehun’s face in his hands and pulls in into a fiery and hungry-filled kiss. Sehun forgot how it was to kiss Jongin, but his lips were not a foreign touch to Sehun’s. He can feel himself tremble like a coward at that moment, knowing he’s only going to hurt Jongin but he didn’t want to pull away. Jongin caressed Sehun’s face leaning towards him and Sehun’s hands were wrapped around the other’s waist. 

The kiss packed so much nostalgia, and their tears were the repercussions of all those memories. 

Jongin murmurs against Sehun’s lips, “You’re so harsh to me.” And runs his hands through Sehun’s nape tugging at his hair. 

“Mm, I know,” Sehun replied, pressing his tongue to the seam of Jongin’s lips delving inside his mouth at his granted access. 

“I can’t hate you..” Jongin mumbled, a low moan escaping past his lips at Sehun’s cold fingers that slide under his sweater, dancing around his heated skin. 

“I know.” 

The kiss obliterated every thought. For the first time in a long time, Sehun’s mind was solely locked on the present. The worries of the day evaporated like a summer shower onto a hot car. His rush-mode was discontinued, he had no desire for their kiss to end. Drunk on endorphins, he just wanted to hold onto Jongin, peck every crevasse, re-explore his body again. 

Jongin pulled away, resting his forehead against Sehun’s. They close their eyes, savouring the moment, both of their breaths are shaking, trying to swallow as much oxygen as they could. 

Sehun can feel the beating of Jongin’s heart against his chest, he caressed his damp cheek with his thumb, coaxing Jongin to open his eyes. 

“Sehun..” 

“We can’t,” Sehun answers the unspoken question hanging in the air. 

It’s not like Jongin hadn’t expected that answer, but it all hurt the same. Maybe more. He slowly withdraws away from Sehun, heading towards a sleeping Baekhyun but Sehun holds onto his wrist and Jongin’s heart quickens at the touch, and he scoffs at how pathetic he’s acting. 

“Let go of me, Sehun-ah.” Jongin’s voice was hoarse, weighed with agony. 

Sehun doesn’t even realize that he’s gripping Jongin’s wrist, so he drops his hand. “I just…wanted to make it clear, that this doesn’t mean anything. I just…just lost myself for a second.” 

Jongin closes the gap between their bodies, their breath mingling. _It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts._

“The least thing you can do, after fucking kissing me, like you _love_ me,” and Jongin’s voice cracks and so does another piece of his heart. “Is to not lie to my face right afterwards.” 

Fear. Sehun wanted to yell it out loud and explain it to Jongin. _That it was because of fear that I brutally massacred your pure heart._ But all Sehun does is stare at Jongin picking up Baekhyun’s littered toys, and drawings around the living room without a sound, lifeless. Jongin neatly stuffs the items into Baekhyun’s backpack, wiping his damp eyes with his sleeve every few seconds, and Sehun can’t handle watching Jongin in any more pain. 

“You know it would have never worked out! Not now, then or ever.” Sehun exclaimed, balled up fists on either side of him. Why was Jongin being so unreasonable!

Jongin doesn’t even have the energy to look up at Sehun, slowly zipping up Baekhyun’s bag. 

“It only seemed to work out whenever you wanted it to.” Jongin stares at his shaky hands and glares at how much Sehun effects. Jongin was head over heels for him. “Only then. Especially then.” 

“That’s not true—“ 

Jongin isn’t listening, he throws Baekhyun’s bag on the ground and turns to Sehun, clenching his jaw. “Only when Sehun wanted. Only if Sehun approved. Only if Sehun had the time! While Jongin would be at his beck and call like a fucking lovesick dog! And here I stand, yet again, like the fucking idiot I am, desperate and pathetic.” 

“My future is all planned out!” Sehun explodes, throwing his hands in the air in despair. “You do realize this right? We talked about it all the time! We can never work, because you and I are not part of the fucking plan, Jongin.” 

Jongin’s chin wobbles, and he shoves Sehun only to have his wrists caught by the latter. “Fuck the plan.” 

“College is my only free pass, that’s it. Father said so! I can do whatever I like, but the moment I graduate, I lose my freedom.” Sehun’s hisses shaking Jongin’s wrists, wanting the words to sink in and make Jongin, his Jongin, understand. “I’m going to be working at Father’s company, and get the arranged marriage Grandfather made since I was fucking 2. To a girl. You know this!”

Jongin yanks himself free, angry tears spilling over his cheeks. He can barely stand straight. 

“I can’t have you hurt. Not anymore.” 

Jongin’s face darkened with resentment, turning to him sharply. “I’m hurting right this minute, every breath I take is like setting gasoline and burning my insides. Don’t keep lying to me, Sehun! You said it, you said it! You said _fuck the plan!_ “ 

Sehun walks past Jongin, grabbing Baekhyun’s bag from the ground. “Circumstances clearly have changed, haven’t they?” 

“A fucking asshole.” 

Sehun turns on the back of his heel and leans into Jongin with inches between their faces. “You are the one that broke it off. You, Jongin. Not me.” 

“You ruined my life, Sehun.” Jongin snarled, his eyes softening. “And I still want you back…” 

Sehun looks away, letting his tears fall. “You made me promise to not hurt you again. To treat you like a stranger. I won’t break another promise,” Sehun’s tone turns raspy. “ _I won’t._ “

They stood there like bloodied warriors, their words fall around them like smoked ash on the battlefield. With their seized fire, they stared into the depth of each other’s vulnerability. Sehun doesn’t think he can hold himself together for much longer, one more string cut and he’ll fall apart. 

He steps back, rubbing his face clean from the salty tears as if it never happened, forcing his expression to become stoic. “I can pay you back for all the help, and we can go back to never seeing each other. I can manage.” 

Jongin stared at the wad of money in Sehun’s hand, lost in trance. He doesn’t want to Sehun to stop. He doesn’t want Sehun to treat him like a stranger. He can’t do it. He won’t allow it. Jongin though he could live without Sehun when they departed, but after seeing him again, Jongin felt like fresh air was blown into him for the first time. 

For all of the vile and terrible things Jongin endured, he had every right to take the money and walk away. But he doesn’t move, because of the one right thing Sehun gave him. Unconditional love. 

“No.” Jongin pushes the money away gently. “I’m helping out because Baekhyun is a sweetheart, and I don’t want to disturb his already disturbed routine. That isn’t fair on him.” 

Jongin will fight for Sehun’s love. He’ll fight stronger than before, he’ll succeed this time. He has to, _he has to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, and the plot thickens. Dun-dun-dun. 
> 
> If you ever wanna chat or are too shy to comment on here this is my twitter is:@GlazedDounut72
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback.
> 
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.


	9. Overwhelmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's good to be back after my writing hiatus.   
> ♥7.1K♥ chapter.
> 
> I wrote this focused more on Sehun, just so we can get a proper grasp of everyone's perspective now. 
> 
> I want to thank every single person who has been so kind and generous in leaving their sweet, sweet comments and kudos! I literally take screenshots of them and re-read them for motivation and moral support. So thank you. ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡

“I think it might be through here,” Sehun said, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible but anybody with half-a-brain can see how nervous the young father is. 

Sehun knows exactly where they are, he just wishes he didn’t. And has absolutely no idea why he even bothered to come to such a place. A community centre. He has been loitering in the hallway for the past 20 minutes building up the nerves to open the door in front of him. 

“Hey mister, are you going in?” 

Sehun jumps at the noise, and steps out of the way hurriedly, tugging little Baekhyun with him. There stood beside them, was a man dressed in casual attire and a young boy that had an uncanny resemblance to the man, no older than 7 years old.

“Sorry..” Sehun muttered, unconsciously holding Baekhyun’s hand a little tighter. 

The man which Sehun can only assume as the young boy’s father, opened the door Sehun has been so apprehensive about, as his son runs in. Sehun waits for the man to enter but he doesn’t, still standing in front of Sehun with a sympathetic smile. 

“This is your first time?” He asked, and Sehun could do nothing but nod stiffly. “Come in, we’re all in the same boat here. Nobody’s going to judge.” 

And with that, the gentleman enters leaving the door ajar as Sehun stares in. 

A muscle twitched involuntarily at the corner of Sehun’s right eye, his mouth formed a rigid grimace. The anxiety sat on his chest like a ton of sand rubble, unable to seep out. Sehun doesn’t want to be here, and he’s regretting his decision right this second. All morning he’s been thinking over his choice of coming to the community centre that held the ‘Daddy and Me’, support group. He doesn’t even know why he’s so invested with all of this when he could be sitting at home right now trying to catch up on his shows and assignments. But then he looks down at Baekhyun staring ahead with a sparkle in his eyes and a small smile, Sehun knew why he’s being so invested — so he can improve for Baekhyun. And with that, he musters up enough courage to enter.

The room looked normal enough, and Sehun feels sheepish at assuming the worst of the mundane facilities of the community centre not having entered one previous. A first for everything, he thought ironically. The room was divided into two sections. One side for the adults where a small table of beverages and snacks is provided with the respective fathers seated on the colourful foam mats in a circle and the other side was for the children a makeshift playing area. 

Sehun doesn’t want to let Baekhyun go and play with the other kids, since he’s the only person he knows. It’s ridiculous, Sehun was aware. That he’s so nervous that he needs the comfort of a 4-year-old as if he’s going to his first day of school. 

“You can go play over there, I’m here if you need me. Okay?” Sehun forced the words out, watching Baekhyun nod and run off to the children full of energy swinging Min the Bunny in his hand. 

The adults turn to Sehun and he is met with half a dozen pair of eyes on him, and that is when he realized he must be the youngest one there. Sehun forces himself to shuffle towards the circle, trying to keep his expression blank enough to not draw on the fact that he’s absolutely appalled that these grown men have decided to sit willingly on children’s playing mat instead of chairs like actual adults. 

“Hello new face, come sit down.” A chubby man with far too many wrinkles on his face greeted with open arms. 

Sehun bit his tongue consciously wondering where to place himself. He is doing this for Baekhyun, he reminded himself. After all, he wouldn’t willingly sit himself down in clearly second-hand play mats that have seen better and brighter days. The man that opened the door from earlier points Sehun to an empty spot and the college student couldn’t be more thankful. 

“Welcome to the ‘Daddy and Me’ support group, I am the founder Namgi. I’ve started this support group when I realized our community needed a safe place for single fathers, much like single mothers in this day and age. We’re all equals here, a place to share struggles and destress from parenting. All of the chaos both good and bad.” 

Laughter rings around the circle and Sehun can’t bring himself to laugh along, he doesn’t know if he wants the good, let alone the bad. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want to be a dad or Baekhyun. The guilt eats him up inside, just thinking horribly of Baekhyun and their entire predicament. After all, two weeks ago, Sehun didn’t have a child that he needed to suddenly take care of. 

Sehun counts 6 individuals seated in this circle, watching them each introduce themselves and their children.

“Feel free to introduce yourself.” The group leader, Namgi, gestured smiling kindly at Sehun

Sehun tugs at his sleeves nervously, glancing around the pack. “My name is Oh Sehun, I’m 22 and that’s….” Sehun can’t say it, the words are lodged in his throat. “Baekhyun. He’s 4.” 

Sehun points a shaky finger at Baekhyun who has already made friends with some of the other kids playing with the blocks. 

“22 years old? Oh wow, you’re the youngest one—“  
“Youngchul! Stop eating the tissue! Oi!” 

Youngchul’s dad jumps into action running after his son trying to take the handful of tissues in the child’s hand, and Sehun watched in bewilderment. He glances back at the group but their reaction was nothing but mild amusement. It made Sehun think that this must be a regular basis of tissue eating and chasing. 

“So, Sehun what made you decide to join our group?” Namgi asked, pulling Sehun’s attention back. 

Sehun is beyond nervous because this is very much real. The single fathers in front of him are almost as if a mirror of what he’ll be in a few years if Baekhyun is still with him by then. 

He takes a deep breath, trying to regulate his beating heart. “I….I became a dad two weeks ago.” 

Sehun looks back at Baekhyun playing and in an instant, the tension in his spine uncoils significantly. The mood in the circle shifts, because as the elder men watched Sehun watch Baekhyun, they understood what the college student meant in an instant because a lot of them encounter that same fate. After all, they’re ultimately in the same boat. 

“Thank you for sharing, Sehun.” Namgi nods and the group fall into easy conversation over eating inedible objects when Youngchul’s father sits back down red-faced by victorious with the crumpled tissue in his hand. 

His phone buzzes and Sehun is thankful for the minor distraction turning on his phone in an instant, surprised that Jongin’s name is flashing on his screen. He taps on their chat, reading the new text message. 

Jongin: _come to the cafe, I found something._

It has been two weeks since the arrival of Oh Baekhyun into Sehun’s life — and Jongin too. After that night of exchanged jumbled confessions and nostalgic promises, Jongin was officially back again into Sehun’s life. There were too many loose ends for them to tie, but the tension has subdued and Sehun doesn’t need to walk on eggshells around Jongin anymore. The pair haven’t spoken about their kissing, but something has shifted in Jongin’s behaviour that night, less aggression than the usual hate-fueled resentment. It was still early days for them to be labelled as anything, especially with all of their complex history, but Sehun is just grateful that Jongin is willing to help him. After everything, they’ve been through. 

Sehun: _okay_  
Sehun: _give me an hour_

The rest of the meeting goes by in a buzzing whirl, Sehun doesn’t interject on any of the topics far too engrossed into his own little world, but the anxiety from earlier is gone. He gets a tap on the arm, snapping him out of trance. 

“Huh?” 

A few chuckle at his absent-mindedness, finding it endearing as Namgi repeats the question. “Do you have a support system?” 

Sehun goes quiet for a second, ready to shake his head until the faces of Jongin and Chanyeol pop into his mind. “Friends.” 

“That’s good, friends are important. Having a friend is one of the nicest things you can have in the world.” 

_Friends are important._ The phrase echos in Sehun’s mind once, twice, thrice. If friends were important then why didn’t his old friends help him out, why wasn’t he important to them. He’s known them for years, since high school and even picked the same college they were accepted in, just so he can stay close to them, even though he got a better offer. Sehun bites his bottom lip in thought, what if one of them were in his shoes right now, would he have done the same as his ex-friends or would he have helped? 

“….don’t forget about your support buddy!” Namgi calls out, and Sehun looks up everybody was beginning to pack up and leave. He was lost in his web of thoughts. 

Sehun stands up quickly, rushing to Namgi. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you earlier. Support what?” 

“Support buddy,” Namgi patted Sehun’s shoulder his kind smile never disappearing from his lips.” Every month every one of us brings their support buddy whether it be your family, friends, neighbour, coworker or even significant others. Someone that has been there for you through your hardships as a single parent. It’s in two weeks time, don’t stress out kid. We do this to remind ourselves that we need to take a step back and relax, a well-earned pat on the back.” 

Sehun blinks. “W-What?”

“I hope you enjoyed your first meeting Sehun, hope you’ll come back and open up more.” Namgi encouraged, giving Sehun one final pat before leaving. 

Sehun felt a little bit of his soul die inside. He didn’t realize that there would be more sudden commitments he needed to do. Sure, he could simply ignore the support group and never come back. He’ll do that, he reckoned. He does not need any more people prodding and poking into his life. He can barely handle what he’s in now. He will most certainly not come back. 

(—————)

“You looked so nervous.” Sehun teased, looking down at Baekhyun who gasps at the false accusation. 

“No! Sehun didn’t want to stop holding _Baekhyunnie’s_ hand,” Baekhyun sticks his tongue out to emphasis his point, and Sehun scoffs. “Sweaty.” 

“I was holding your hand because I needed to, y’know, measure if you got any bigger, duh!” Sehun retorted childishly, he isn’t going to expose himself. 

The father and son duo were currently walking down the street in the direction of the cafe that Jongin works at. Sehun needed some strong caffeine with a side of sleep. He glances at Baekhyun and thinks back to their first walk together, where he tried to leave the toddler behind — get rid of him. The vile thought is like a poisonous virus his mind, spreading into each crevice with rapid speed and Sehun has to physically shake his head to stop it. 

“Did you have fun?” Sehun asks with a softer tone. “Or was it like super boring?” 

Baekhyun shakes his head, patting Min’s head with a small smile. “Fun. Like daycare, but with Sehun.” 

Sehun was surprised, he didn’t expect to be part of the answer. Not one bit. The guilt clung to him like a stain. A horrible, horrible stain. “With me?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun looks up at his supposed father his eyes sparkling. “Together. I wasn’t scared because Sehun is there.” 

“Why would you be scared?”   
“You won’t come back…” 

Sehun stiffens at the abrupt confession, he didn’t want to find more reasons to keep Baekhyun. He didn’t want to know more, the less he knew the better. He doesn’t want to be attached to Baekhyun, he doesn’t want to be familiar. 

“Listen, how about we race to the cafe? It’s that green door, do you see it? Last one is a smelly sock.” Sehun points ahead, in desperate need to cut this conversation short because if Baekhyun continued then Sehun might say or do something irrational. “Three…two…one….” 

Sehun starts jogging ahead. “Go!” 

Baekhyun’s whining can be heard, and Sehun peeks over his shoulder and he bites his lips to stop himself from smiling at the toddler. Baekhyun’s laughter is ringing in the air, and it is infectious. Sehun hates how easily swayed his emotions are moving, back and forth. He keeps running away from everything, even in the literal sense now and Sehun can only wince. 

Sehun pretends to slow down so Baekhyun can surpass him, and the toddler does reaching the green door with a final huff before breaking out into mini celebratory dance. Sehun’s hand slides to his side, itching to pull out his phone and capture the cute moment, of Baekhyun’s breathy laughter and reddened cheeks and the swinging bunny plushie. But he doesn’t. No attachments. 

“I win!” Baekhyun cheered, shaking Sehun’s arm for a moment waiting for praise but none come. 

Today’s non-profit meeting forced Sehun to face his future, and he hated it. Sure, it was nice to relate and be surrounded by people in a similar circumstance as him, but he didn’t sign up to be a father. He doesn’t want to be. He went to the meeting for Baekhyun’s sake, to improve but now he wishes he hadn’t because to Sehun, there was no point. His life is all planned out for him, and Baekhyun isn’t in that equation, so why bother trying. 

“He deserves better than me…” Sehun muttered, pushing open the green door hearing it tinkle indicating their arrival. 

“Hi! Welcome to Exodus cafe, how can I help you?” Jongin’s customer-service chirpy voice greets the pair, but once he lifts his eyes from the register to fully acknowledge the potential customers his smile freezes. “Oh.” 

“Hello.”  
“Jonginnie!” 

Jongin winks at Baekhyun in greeting, before pointing to the table closest to the counter. “Wait over here, I’ll come back in a few minutes.” 

Sehun doesn’t want to be here, the feeling is abrupt but it’s not new he just buried it a while ago, and now everything is at melting point. So, Sehun drags his sluggish legs to the designated table and plops on the two-seat couch. He helps Baekhyun climb up beside him. Sehun just feels like pure shit. He’s exhausted. He’s hungry. He shouldn’t be wasting his weekend like this, he should be sleeping in or going out with friends. Not this. Wasting away. 

Sehun scans the cafe in mild-interest trying to stop the pessimistic thoughts from bombarding him. He notices a group of high school girls staring in his direction whispering eagerly, and Sehun subtly looks around him to double-check if they’re actually looking at him or someone else. One of the girls raises a flirty hand and waves to him. In a matter of seconds, the group dissolves in giggles. Oh. _Oh._ Sehun glances at Baekhyun sitting obediently beside him, and it makes him wonder if they looked more like brothers instead of father and son. 

Baekhyun is restless, he keeps looking around and fidgeting in his seat, tugging Min the Bunny’s ears. Sehun follows Baekhyun’s gaze and spots on the other side a small family. A mother, a young baby and grandmother. The two women entertained the baby with the scattered toys on the table and Sehun closes his eyes for a moment, in instant shame. That was why Baekhyun was trying to keep still in his seat, brushing Sehun’s side every few seconds with his small frame. 

“Sorry, for forgetting to bring your toys.” Sehun sighed biting the inside of his cheek. 

Baekhyun shakes his head, smiling at Sehun as he holds out Min the Bunny. “It’s okay! I have Min.” 

Baekhyun is a good boy. His mummy always told him he had to be patient and he always was. She’d make him wait for hours in cafes or the parks all by himself while she went to work for hours on end. Sometimes a few men would pick her up in their shiny cars. He would wait and wait and wait, and when Mummy would come back she’d kiss him on both cheeks and wave a small chocolate treat for being good. He really liked being good, it made Mummy happy, but sometimes the park would be too cold and dark or the workers at the cafes would keep looking at him funny when he’d sit all by himself for hours on end. 

Sehun picks up his messenger bag, pulling out one of his notebooks and a pencil case. He’ll have to make do with this for now. So with an awkward smile, he pushes the two items until they’re in front of Baekhyun. “You can draw…if you like?” 

Baekhyun’s beams at him and he rests his head against Sehun’s shoulder in an act of appreciation. Sehun goes rigid at the unexpected affection, watching Baekhyun pull away and pick up a yellow highlighter, beginning to draw. 

“Wow. Letting the kid do your course work for you.” Jongin says, startling Sehun with his sudden arrival. 

Sehun opens his mouth, ready to explain the situation in panic but Jongin’s face is soft, there isn’t his usual scowl. Sehun’s shoulders slump in relief, watching Jongin take a seat across from them. 

“So listen, I might have found you a free babysitting gig.” 

“What? How?” 

“Jongdae, that moron over there,” Jongin points at his coworker currently fixing an order of iced coffee. “Is roommates with Chanyeol’s cousin, Junmyeon.” 

Sehun scans Jongdae with squinted eyes. Everything today is so abrupt. “I’m not following.” 

“And I’m not finished,” Jongin replied with pursed lips. “So, Junmyeon has a bachelors in Finance but he hasn’t found a job since graduating. So, he works part-time in an Internet cafe to make ends meet. So, during the weekends while you go off and work, he can take care of Baekhyun in the meantime. Since I can’t be available every time. He’ll do it. For free.” 

“Really?! He won’t mind?” Sehun’s eyes doubled. He can breathe a little, but then the thought of reason crashes in. “But wait, why would he do it for free?”

“Why do you care? I found you a babysitter for free, wasn’t that one of the dumb privileged things you wanted from the beginning?” 

Jongin has made a promise that he’ll fight stronger than before for Sehun’s love. But, his mind and heart won’t cooperate together, his mind often building constant walls to protect him whenever he is in the same space as Sehun. Meanwhile, his heart keeps breaking and tearing the walls down. It was a constant and draining battle. Jongin wants to forget all of the horrible things he’s endured because of Sehun in the past, but time is slow and his wounds aren’t healed yet. 

“I know, and I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me….” Sehun begins unsurely, rubbing the back of his nape. Jongin’s gaze forever too intense for him to keep eye contact. “I just…sorry.” 

Jongin leans back and crosses his arms lazily. He’s been practising at being nicer to Sehun. It’s just difficult when the person he is in love with, is the same person he considers an enemy.

With a sigh, Jongin answers Sehun. “Junmyeon kind of owes Chanyeol for helping out in finding a place to stay, after graduating. He’s really nice, I promise.”

“Thank you.” Sehun says sincerely, nodding at Jongin in gratitude. He’d be lost without him. Baekhyun would be better off with Jongin than his crappy self, who has been hopeless through all of this from the very beginning. 

Jongin can see the fatigue in Sehun’s eyes, how he sits with his shoulders hunched inwards and head lowered as if wanting to be hidden. It’s hard raising a child, especially a toddler almost turning 5 who turned up out of the blue, botching everything in your current life. Jongin knows Sehun’s fake friends abandoned him due to his sudden status, and he’s never had a good relationship with his family to lean on. He was alone until Jongin stepped in. But even now Sehun looked conflicted; an open book to Jongin.

“How are you handling everything so far?” Jongin asked, his brows furrowed in concern. 

All of the repressed distress he’s been hiding has surpassed its limit, and Sehun unloads everything. He needed to, or he might go crazy. 

“I’m behind on my coursework all the time now! I don’t even have a moment for myself, because it all revolves around him. I have to take care of him all the time! I don’t have time to do _anything._ ” Sehun begins a little heatedly, with wild gestures of the hand while Baekhyun is very much engrossed in drawing to notice the conversation concerning around him. 

“Every day is so exhausting! I have to wake up, feed him breakfast and dress him, then run to daycare to drop him off, and run to college to make it just on time for my first class of the day. As soon as I finish my classes, I’m back running to pick him up. I don’t have all of that stamina in me, Jongin. I have to cook for him, and feed him _again_ and I have to entertain him than help him bathe and wait until he falls asleep! Rinse and repeat, every day! I’m so tired and bored! It’s horrible, I haven’t been able to leave the apartment unless it's for daycare, college or a quick grocery run.”

Jongin purses his lips, and scoffs unimpressed. “You’re being dramatic, I’m sure the both of you leave the apartment for at least a walk or something. He isn’t a difficult kid, when me and Chanyeol were taking care of him, we went to the convenience store for ice-cream and he was really good. Held my hand the entire time, even when I told him he doesn’t need to.” 

“It’s not necessary is it?” Sehun asks with evident hesitation, he didn’t expect Jongin’s response. It might have been better for him to keep his mouth shut. “Like to go outside…for a walk at the park or something? I buy the groceries before I pick him up… so we head straight back to my place usually.”

“You’re joking right?” Jongin blinks, unable to comprehend the information for a moment. “You’re not joking…” And once he does, Jongin sits up and leans in with flared nostrils and a thunderous glare. 

“He isn’t some fucking cat you keep indoors 24 hours a day! I can’t believe you right now. To expect from you the bare minimum and even that you can’t handle?” 

Sehun has made Jongin angry, it’s almost a talent of his at this point. If he dies today at the hands of Jongin, Sehun will completely understand because he is a failure. As a person, as a father, as a student, as a friend and as a son. To Sehun, he deserves every bad thing thrown at him, because he is a selfish person. 

“I’m sorry.” Sehun said meekly, staring at his lap, fidgeting with his fingers trying to keep his emotions intact. He doesn’t want to cry, but he’s just burned out with all of the heavy new responsibilities. And even those, he can’t do correctly. He wants everything back like it was, before Baekhyun. 

Jongin opens his mouth ready to reprimand Sehun further, but Sehun’s trembling chin and downcast eyes told him to cease. Instead, Jongin groans in annoyance, rubbing his face trying to keep his composure. Baekhyun is in his own bubble chatting away to his plushie and Jongin is thankful. He reaches over and pets Baekhyun’s head who glances up and flashes a toothy grin at Jongin. 

“I really am sorry..” Sehun whispers, and his voice breaks at the end. He doesn’t want to cry in public, it’s embarrassing to cry he knows but Sehun’s chest is uncomfortably tight and the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming. _All of today has been overwhelming to him._

“When we get back to the apartment, I’m making a timetable.” Jongin announced instead, he is not going to coddle Sehun. If he did, then Sehun won’t get resilient. Because if Jongin gives Sehun any leeway, the latter will not become independent. So, tough love, it is. 

Sehun looks up, his eyes glossy and confused. “W-We?” 

“I finish my shift in about 2 hours. We’re going to go grocery shopping as well, because I know for a fact that you’re the type of person who’d throw a whole cucumber at him and call it a day.” Jongin confirmed their sudden plans, standing up his hands tucked in his apron’s front pockets and spins on the back of his heels, walking behind the counter immediately busying himself next to Jongdae. 

A flush crept up Sehun’s face because that is exactly what he has been doing ever since Baekhyun started daycare. Sehun wipes his eyes with his sleeve, before taking a deep breath. He isn’t going to have a breakdown in the middle of a cafe, he isn’t. Just as Sehun was calming down, Jongin is back in front of them with a packed tray, he places on the table. 

“On the house, okay? I got you a large, iced coffee with two pumps of vanilla, one pump of caramel, two shots of espresso with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle on top.” Jongin gestures with his chin at the drink and Sehun is surprised that Jongin still remembers his complex coffee order. “Two smoked chicken sandwiches, and an orange juice for Baekhyun. ” 

Sehun’s vision is blurry with tears once more, and this time he can’t fight them back. They’re just sliding down his cheeks, and Sehun reaches over to his coffee and forces himself to drink in order to collect himself. He’s grateful, he really is. He can vaguely hear Jongin chatting to Baekhyun, squatted beside the child. Sehun wonders what miracle he has done in his past life to have someone as reliable and calm as Jongin by his side. 

Sehun knows Jongin is saying something to him directly, he can see Jongin’s lips move and Sehun scrubs his tears away once more and refocuses. “Sorry I…sorry.” 

Jongin stands back up again, and he takes a good look at Sehun. It’s hard he knows, especially for someone like Sehun who has lived his entire life being selfish with no regard to anybody else. However, Sehun has been trying really hard with Baekhyun even if he’s not good at being a parent yet, and Jongin can see that. 

“I said, now would be a good time to get some coursework done.” Jongin repeated softly. 

Sehun nods obediently, staring at his fingers on his lap embarrassed, wiping his cheeks once more.

Sehun’s head is bowed, and Jongin unconsciously reaches over to ruffle Sehun’s hair but freezes mid-way. Jongin stares at Sehun’s crown shocked at his own behaviour, he almost comforted him. Jongin looks away and takes a step back, absolutely befuddled that he’d be so careless with exposing his emotions so openly with Sehun. The same Sehun who does not want to have a relationship with him. 

He can’t dwell on such things, now is not the time. Jongin hurriedly pulls out his phone and hands it to Baekhyun. 

“You can play on my phone while Sehun does some work, okay?”   
“Yes. Baekhyunnie is a good boy. Min too.” 

Jongin laughs at Baekhyun’s cuteness, and nods. “Yeah, Min too.” 

(—————) 

The two hours fly by without their knowledge. Sehun is diligently finishing up his coursework, he isn’t done but he’s glad he’s completed a large portion of the assignments. A burden off his shoulder, making him feel lighter. Baekhyun has dozed off at some point after eating, his head on Sehun’s lap as his tiny body is sprawled across the seat-sofa. Meanwhile Jongin keeps checking and glancing at both Sehun and Baekhyun every twenty minutes or so. 

“Oooh! Would you look at that? What is it, like the 10th time you looked over there?” Jongdae teased after catching Jongin sneaking another peek. “Enemies to lovers is one of my favourite tropes to read ab—Ow! Shit! I take it back!” 

Jongin gives Jongdae a dirty look and kicks him again just for good measure. The last thing he needs is for anybody to find out that he and Sehun were involved with one another romantically in the past. Their entanglement was too messy for other parties to get involved, for now, that is. 

“On a scale of one to ten,” Jongdae wheezes messaging his possibly broken legs. “How bad do you want to kill me right now?” 

Jongin sucks his teeth, annoyance written all over his face. “I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties.” 

“Understandable.”   
“I know.” 

Jongin takes off his apron, heading to the small back room to get his belongings after checking the clock on the wall. When he comes out after several minutes with his basic all-black _Nike_ duffle bag on his back. He pats Jongdae on the shoulder as a farewell before exiting the counter. 

“See you tomorrow!” Jongdae hollered. 

Jongin walks over to Sehun with his hands in his hoodie pockets, knocking on the table to gain the latter’s attention and he succeeded. “Come on, let’s go.” 

“Yes, okay, erm, let me just pack up.” 

Sehun gathers his scattered textbooks but pauses in his process remembering Baekhyun is asleep. Jongin realises the dilemma too, and picks up Baekhyun instantly propping him to his side. Jongin glances at Baekhyun’s sleeping face nestling into his neck, not stirring up still in a deep slumber. 

“Thank you,” Sehun said, finished packing up the remainder of his stuff into his bag and slides out of the couch seat officially standing up. “I can carry him.” 

“Whatever, let’s just go.”   
“Okay.” 

The pair walk out of the cafe together, and it’s strange. There isn’t the tense atmosphere that Sehun used to feel whenever he’s around Jongin. They walked in complete silence, with Jongin carrying a sleeping Baekhyun in his arms and Sehun takes the opportunity to take a good look at Jongin as discreetly as possible. 

He looked the same as he did back in high school if anything he’s gotten more handsome. His face was strong and defined, but his eyes held a harshness that Sehun didn’t see before. And Sehun is sure it is because of him, and his heart hurts at the thought. When Sehun focuses on Jongin’s naturally pouty lips, his mind races into a flashback of their kiss. A moment of lost control, is what Sehun lies to himself. He can’t hurt Jongin again, he just can’t. 

“Stop staring, you fucking perv.” 

Sehun flinches and looks away with reddened cheeks. Jongin’s eyes are intense that’s for sure, Sehun concluded. 

“I was surprised when you, erm, remembered my coffee order.” Sehun confessed after a beat of silence. 

“You’ve always been a pretentious shit, it’s not like I couldn’t forget something like that so easily.” Jongin shrugged as indifferently as he could, turning to Sehun who is smiling to himself shyly. 

“A bitter dark-roasted cold brew.” 

Jongin blinks in surprise that Sehun remembers his coffee order. “Oh.” 

Sehun’s shoulders sag in disappointed at the dull reaction, he wanted Jongin to praise him or at least give him some sort of approval. Jongin holds back an eye-roll at his behaviour. 

“My coffee order is easy, so I’m not that impressed,” Jongin states, the corner of his lips curling up ever so slightly at Sehun’s bright expression reminding him of a pup. “What’s my favourite dessert?” 

“Easy, it’s cherry pie.” 

Jongin can’t hide the surprise on his face, and Sehun smirks victorious. 

“Okay, I’m a little impressed.” Jongin nods, readjusting Baekhyun’s sleeping frame into a more comfortable stance. “Your turn, come on.” 

Sehun couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, enjoying the impromptu game. 

“What’s my favourite board game?”   
“Chess. But only with a worthy opponent.” Jongin answered confidently. “My turn. What’s my favourite sport?” 

Sehun quirked a brow, as a sly smirk appears. “You hate sports.” 

Jongin hums in acknowledgement, as they cross the road together. They were nearing Sehun’s neighbourhood and that meant the district’s grocery store is close. 

“What’s my number one pet peeve?”  
“Slow walkers,” Jongin replied without missing a beat, the game becoming faster.

“Favourite type of weather?”  
“Rainy weather.” 

“What do I do when I’m sick?”  
Sehun snorts, running his hand through his hair. “Pretend you’re not.” 

“What am I afraid of?”   
_Being unloved._ But Jongin doesn’t say it, he doesn’t dare to. 

Instead, he gently nudges Baekhyun to wake up trying to keep his face void of any emotions. Baekhyun stirs up, letting out quiet whines as he wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck still in a state of sleepiness. 

Sehun claps his hands in delight, thinking he has Jongin cornered. “I win.”

“Kid, you’ve got to get up now.” Jongin murmurs, as Baekhyun mumbles incoherently, rubbing his bleary eyes. “There we go, what a good boy.” 

Sehun’s smile fades at the sight. In those few precious minutes, Sehun forgot Baekhyun and all of the pressures that came with the small boy. 

Sehun’s smile fades at the sight. In those precious minutes, Sehun forgot about Baekhyun. Everything was so carefree and Sehun fooled himself into believing he was just a normal college student. Sehun doesn’t voice it, but as he glanced at Baekhyun in Jongin’s arms he felt nothing but spite for the toddler. That Baekhyun stole his freedom. 

“We’ll get snacks, you liked the jelly sweets didn’t you?” Jongin chatted to Baekhyun, lowering him to the ground. 

“Yes!” Baekhyun nods his head enthusiastically, his drowsiness gone. He clutches onto Jongin’s hand tightly. 

Sehun grips his bag strap tightly out of annoyance, he doesn’t understand why of all people he is the one cursed with a child he didn’t want. 

“Oh no! Min!” Baekhyun gasps, stopping them in their track. 

“Don’t worry he’s in Sehun’s bag, taking a nap like you were,” Jongin reassures with a tender smile.

Jongin looks up at the clear orange hue with the sun slowly setting. The grocery store is coming into view, the sign’s dim light illuminating the area and the trio walk over.

Baekhyun’s eyes are practically shooting stars at Sehun, and the adult looks away pretending to be unaffected by Baekhyun’s charm. However, Baekhyun is not discourage, in fact, he does not hesitate to reach over with his other hand and hold Sehun’s fingers. “Thank you!” 

Jongin holds back a chuckle, amused by Baekhyun and when he looks to Sehun expecting a similar reaction, the latter’s face is grim. Jongin furrows his brows puzzled by Sehun’s stony expression watching the interaction unfold between the father and son. Sehun stares at his and Baekhyun’s held hands and his nose wrinkles upwards, shrugging Baekhyun’s grip off him a little too harshly stuffing both his hands into his front pockets and walk ahead with hunched shoulders. 

Jongin stares at Sehun’s back in deep thought. Sehun was fine a few minutes ago, even laughed and then as if by a switch his mood shifted and Jongin can’t help but feel frustration bubble under his skin. Knowing with good reason what might be the cause of Sehun’s irregular temperaments today. 

“Baekhyunnie is sorry!” The 4-year-old said, tightening his hold on Jongin afraid he’ll be punished. 

“You did nothing wrong, Sehun’s being a fuc—fudging idiot. Come on, don’t mind him, kid.” Jongin tugs Baekhyun to walk again, swinging their hands together to comfort Baekhyun. 

Sehun didn’t care if he was being petty and immature, he was fed up. He still had the decency to stand by the grocery entrance waiting for them, and Jongin was still debating on what to do with Sehun. He picks up one of the provided baskets stacked beside the entrance and pushes it into Sehun’s chest, walks in with Baekhyun. 

“Hurry up,” Jongin calls out, not bothering to glance back at Sehun. 

Sehun furrows his brows confused, he didn’t expect this reaction of all reactions. But, he trots behind them reluctantly, pursing his lips huffing like a spoiled child. 

Baekhyun doesn’t like upsetting anybody, because that always resulted in him being punished. And he has no clue what he’d done to upset Sehun, but he’ll attempt to cheer Sehun up in hopes that the adult will be nice to him again. It puts Baekhyun on edge, waiting for the worst. 

“Sehun look, it has a picture of a doggie!” Baekhyun pointed at one of the colourful packages in the isle the trio were currently in. 

Jongin pretends to busy himself in reading the ingredients of the ready-made kimchi, watching the interaction. He just needs to make sure his theory on Sehun’s behaviour is correct before he takes action. 

Sehun doesn’t bother replying to Baekhyun, he eyes the child up and down before looking away. But Baekhyun is not one to quickly give up, he just keeps trying harder and harder at interacting with Sehun and gaining his interest, all the while Jongin leading them throughout the grocery store analyzing the situation. 

“Woah! The mushrooms are so big, look Sehun!”   
“Sehun you like cucumber, look there is more than ten!”   
“Sehun look! Tofu looks like lego!”   
“Sehun, want to share jelly sweets later?” 

But Sehun wouldn’t look. He doesn’t even spare Baekhyun a glance, blatantly ignoring his existence and Sehun wished he could make Baekhyun disappear. The look of pure dejection on Baekhyun’s face was Jongin’s breaking point, he squats in front of the small child. 

“Kid, how about you go and pick your snack now while me and Sehun finish the boring stuff?” Jongin chatted, tilting his head slightly as he smiled. “We’ll be right here, next to the drinks.” 

Baekhyun peered at Sehun cautiously to double-check but Sehun turned his head. “Okay…” 

“Alright, we’ll wait for you.” Jongin patted Baekhyun’s head before standing up to his full height watching Baekhyun dash off into the previous isle that contained the confectionary. 

As soon as Baekhyun is out of sight, Jongin shoves Sehun against the refrigerators. Stepping into his personal space with their noses inches from touching. Sehun’s eyes widen pressing himself back on the cool glass, startled.

“What are you doing?” 

“I should be the one asking you that, you little fuck.” Jongin growls quietly. “That kid has been trying to talk to you all day, get close, and you’re being an asshole. Why?” 

Sehun turns away, shame written all over his face with traces of exasperation. “Maybe I don’t want to _get close_ to him. I don’t want him! He’s ruining my life, I didn’t ask for this, for him! I—“ 

“Baekhyun didn’t ask for a shitty dad and an even shittier mum, but that’s what he was stuck with.” Jongin hisses, his eyes hard. “Being a parent overnight is terrifying as fuck, I get it. But imagine what Baekhyun is going through, he gets dropped off at a stranger’s home that turns out to be his dad and then his mum leaves him and runs away.” 

The feeling of helplessness rushes back into Sehun’s veins, pumping fast and steady in his bloodstream and Sehun quivers at how cold it is. 

“I hate it, Jongin. I want my old life back.” Sehun whispers his eyes tearing up, he can’t cry in public for the second time in one day. “I’m scared, what’s going to happen to me when my parents find out, or after I graduate. Fuck that, what’s going to happen to me now.” 

Jongin looks up and takes a deep breath to remain composure. He lowers his gaze to match Sehun’s with determination. “If you’re scared, imagine how fucking terrified Baekhyun is.” 

“I don’t—“ 

“It’s not _his fault_ , Sehun.” Jongin said quietly, taking a step back and loosely crosses his arms. “One step at a time, yeah? It’s pointless to get worked up over situations that haven’t happened yet or you can’t control. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” 

Sehun nods his head stiffly, sniffling. He didn’t care if he looked pathetic, he just wished this was a nightmare he could wake up from. Jongin gives him a nod of approval. “ And for the love of God, can you stop acting like you’re all alone in this, alright? Aren’t I here with you right now, or does that not count?” 

“Sorry, it’s just been…a long week,” Sehun mumbled.

“And it’s only the beginning of this mayhem,” Jongin stated, his face stern. “If you need to rant, then come rant to me. Don’t take it out of the kid, he has nothing to do with it.” 

“Jonginnie! Jonginnie!” Baekhyun runs up to them holding a big bag of potato chips with both hands. 

Jongin’s turns with a mastered smile. “Woah! Good choice!” 

Baekhyun beams at the praise, but his smile falters slightly when he notices Sehun’s gaze on him. 

Sehun’s stomach is in knots and he knows he has to make a decision once and for all. He can’t keep going back and forth with his emotions, nor can he play with Baekhyun’s either. Jongin is right, but Sehun is terrified. 

_Aren’t I here with you right now, or does that not count?_   
_Aren’t I here with you right now, or does that not count?_   
_Aren’t I here with you right now, or does that not count?_

Sehun looks at Jongin who gives him an encouraging nod, and that is when Sehun finally takes initiative. He’s not alone. He has Jongin by his side. 

He takes a deep breath, and steps towards the toddler. “Is it…cheese flavour?” 

Baekhyun is startled that Sehun bothered to acknowledge him, lowering the big bag and nods a little shyly. 

“That’s my favourite, good pick.” 

“Really?” Baekhyun said bright-eyed, shaking the bag out of excitement. “My favourite too!” 

“Erm, do you want to go back and see the other snacks with me?” Sehun asks, rubbing his nape embarrassed by his earlier behaviour. 

“Yes!” Baekhyun runs ahead and Sehun takes a single step forward but pauses, not brave enough to face Jongin.

“Do you think I’m a shitty person?” 

Jongin stares at Sehun’s back with an unreadable expression, sighing under his breath. “I thought we finished this game…” 

“Do you?” Sehun insisted, fidgeting with his scruffy shoes.

“Not completely, no.” 

Sehun nodded once and lifted his head but he didn’t turn to see Jongin. He just stuffed his hands in his front pockets and walked ahead following Baekhyun’s small figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh! Sehun had a breakdown, super overwhelmed by everything finally reality setting in for him. Next chapter will be much lighter and fluffier.♥
> 
> If you ever wanna chat or are too shy to comment on here this is my twitter is:@GlazedDounut72
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback.
> 
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.


	10. Three Chefs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥4.7K♥ chapter.
> 
> I had midterms coming up, still do lol, but I wanted to write this chapter. So, I hope you beautiful people enjoy. 
> 
> I want to thank every single person who has been so kind and generous in leaving their sweet, sweet comments and kudos! I literally take screenshots of them and re-read them for motivation and moral support. So thank you. ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡ ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ ♡

“I don’t think that is how you slice the onions,” Sehun commented, his breath ticking Jongin’s ear and Jongin has to hold every urge to keep himself still and aloof because of their close proximity. 

Jongin, however, doesn’t turn around he doesn’t dare to, knowing full well how red his cheeks are because Sehun is practically glued to him ever since he started prepping the dinner they brought from the grocery store earlier on the night. 

“You’re not helping me. At all.” Jongin managed to say without stuttering. He needs to keep his cool, but that was never possible with Sehun in the equation. 

“I am.” 

Jongin bites his tongue, he needs Sehun to get away from him before he starts to have heart problems and end up combusting. “You’re not, go away and let me finish.”

“But I can help you! Let me help you.” Sehun pleaded manuevering from his previous stance behind Jongin to leaning against the counter next to him. 

“Standing over my shoulder and micromanaging me, even though you can’t cook for shit isn’t helping!” Jongin snaps, keeping his eyes on the food and forcing his face to remain expressionless so Sehun won’t catch him blushing like a schoolgirl. 

“Because you won’t let me do anything. I feel bad for making you do everything.” Sehun said with a frown. “At least teach me what to do, so I won’t get in your way.” 

Jongin is grateful for the slight distance, rolling his shoulders back unconsciously. “I don’t have the patience to fucking teach you how to cook Sehun. I’m only making this for the sake of the kid. Give him some actual flavours other than burnt and raw.” 

Sehun gasps, standing up to his full height. “I am not _that_ bad!” 

Jongin scoffs and that is all that it took for Sehun to reassess his entire cooking ability. He never liked to cook, never bothered to learn how to cook, and most certainly had no reason to cook since he could always eat out or order some takeaway. He didn’t realize making sandwiching and cutting up fruits in a haphazard manner didn’t make part of the qualifications of cooking. 

“Am I?” Sehun echoed his thought out loud, reaching over to munch on some kimchi but Jongin’s guarding prevents him. 

“This is the last time I’ll slap your hand away, next time I’ll cut it.” 

Sehun has learned long ago to take Jongin’s threats seriously, he stares at how hard Jongin is gripping the base of the knife and shuffles slightly back but doesn’t leave the kitchen area. Jongin glances at Sehun and sighs. 

“For the love of God Sehun, stop using me as an excuse and go play with Baekhyun.” 

Sehun looks at his living room which Baekhyun was currently occupying, playing with Min and the few toys they brought him. Was he always that easy to decipher or was it Jongin that still knew him inside and out? Sehun simply turns his face away staring vacantly at the wall, his head filled with a million thoughts. The entirety of today was pure shit to Sehun and just the mere notion of it is giving him nausea. 

Jongin knows Sehun’s complex emotions weren’t easy to handle. He knows first hand with Sehun’s constant mood swings because of his internal battles of putting a facade on or to be real and vulnerable. It takes a lot to be open, and he might not be able to force it out but he sure as fuck will push and support. 

Jongin lowers the knife and walks past Sehun, bumping their hips together snapping Sehun out of his stance.

“Huh? You said something?” 

Jongin rolls his eyes, but his voice is soft. “Just sit beside him and ask him what he’s playing, then copy him.” 

Sehun has been avoiding all unnecessary interactions as much as he could with the child. Their only real time of communication would be the commute from and to the daycare since they’re both too rushed and sleepy to converse in the morning. It doesn’t particularly help that Sehun has been cooped up in the apartment, consequently forcing Baekhyun to do the same not realizing their needs are different. 

He bites the inside of his cheek in worry, Sehun doesn’t know how to interact with children, let alone a child that shares his own blood. 

Not letting the negative thoughts overpower Sehun, Jongin pushes the single father forward and returns to washing the mushrooms. Jongin acts like he isn’t interested in the whole ordeal but his eyes are glued to the reflective toaster watching Sehun hesitantly make his way towards his son. Jongin nods to himself in approval, not wanting to intervene any further because, at the end of the day, the pair need to be able to connect without his presence. 

Sehun sits on the couch while Baekhyun is on the ground playing. He turns to Jongin for guidance but Jongin has his back turned to them and Sehun internally curses. He hasn’t felt this awkward since he was forced to do a blind date with a friend’s cousin back in high school, who was under cosplay not because of any purpose apart from impressing Sehun. Obviously her plan backfired. 

He clears his throat, hands gripping his knees tightly. “So.” 

Baekhyun blinks in confusion but offers a wide smile, and the bright sight alone makes Sehun feel worse for his earlier treatment to the boy. 

“What, erm, are you doing?” Sehun gestures to the floor in a wild manner, shuffling across the couch closer and closer closing the gap between them. 

“Cooking like Jonginnie!” Baekhyun explained with enthusiasm, pointing at the colourful building blocks spread out in front of him. 

Sehun slides off the couch and sits across Baekhyun, maybe he’ll have more success in this kitchen than the one he was kicked out off. Baekhyun is cautious with Sehun’s sudden presence but he doesn’t let it faze him because Jongin is there. Jongin is always nice to Baekhyun and gives him a lot of cake when he visits the cafe and sits with him. On the other hand, Sehun just looks sad like his Mummy but Sehun doesn’t seem to like him a lot of the time either, and it makes Baekhyun anxious. If the adults don’t like him, his Mummy usually forces him to stay out of the way, whether it be in a locked room until everybody leaves or he’s banished to the corner to be quiet because kids aren’t meant to be heard. 

“Do you… need help?” Sehun asks with obvious insecurity. He’ll be a better chef than Jongin, at least he can do that much. “I cook better than Jongin, for your information.” 

Baekhyun furrows his brows in disbelief and that expression alone makes Sehun more resolute on proving his cooking skills to the toddler. 

“I am! I can cook anything better than Jongin, his food is way too salty anyway.” Sehun puffed out his chest, grabbing a red block waving it in Baekhyun’s face. “Is this a tomato?” 

“Apple,” Baekhyun answered cutely, and he starts to point out the different square assortments to his food knowledge. Imagination was a blessing. 

“We need tofu, where is that?” Sehun fully dives into the world of pretend, too invested in boosting his ego to hear Jongin’s faint snort in the background at his antics. “We’ll make the best kimchi stew, better than what Jongin is doing right now.” 

“Really? Jonginnie makes good sandwiches.” Baekhyun said in genuine curiosity, setting down his bunny beside him and shuffles a little closer. 

Sehun pauses from his ingredient hunt to give Baekhyun a deadpanned look. “Anyone can make a sandwich and lie that it’s good.” 

“Like Sehun?” Baekhyun pointed out, tilting his head slightly and Sehun’s eye twitches at the undetected insult. 

Sehun turns sharply to Jongin and he can see the latter’s shoulder move up and down in silent laughter even with his back still turned, and Sehun brings his face closer to Baekhyun’s and whispers heatedly. “Yes.” 

“This is tofu.” Baekhyun holds out the white block in his hand, extending it to Sehun his defences lowering immensely because of their game. “Does Sehun…like tofu?” 

Sehun blinks at the question, he does not immediately comprehend that Baekhyun is extending an olive branch. Yet again, but Sehun won’t reject it this time around. 

“Huh? Yeah, I don’t mind them.” Sehun swallows, it is a foreign concept to take an active initiative to bond with a child. His child. “What about you?” 

Baekhyun nods his head shyly and Sehun can’t help but mimic him. 

“We need a bowl to mix all of the ingredients together, you know this right?” Sehun converses easily. “Do you wanna go ask Jongin to give us a bowl? I don’t think that could be dangerous….could it?” 

Baekhyun shrugs, unsure himself. “Ask Jonginnie?” 

Sehun nods hurriedly, watching Baekhyun get up and run to Jongin ready to ask but it seems that the aloof Jongin has overheard their entire conversation because he holds out a plastic bowl in his hand, already handing it over to Baekhyun who grins and runs back to Sehun excited to have a playmate. His mummy is always too tired to play with him, and Baekhyun understands because mummy looked tired too. She liked watching him play, while she laid on the couch for a nap and a cigarette. 

“Okay do we have all the ingredients now?” Sehun nods at their organized colour blocks sectioned off into categories. He’ll show Jongin that he isn’t micromanaging, but managing an entire kitchen thank you very much.

Baekhyun is sitting on his knees and nods in determination, his eyes sparkling at the game. It’s more fun to have someone play with him. He likes this. A lot. He peeks up at Sehun studying his face, but once Sehun catches him in the act Baekhyun ducks his head down — out of sight, out of mind; that’s what Mummy always reminded him whenever he brought any attention towards him. 

“I need you to double-check if we have everything, okay? We can’t have a half-cooked meal now.” Sehun commands and reaches over to one of his abundant scattered notebooks on the coffee table and opens it to a random page, pulling the pen stuck in the metal spiral of the notebook out. 

“Tofu.” 

Baekhyun points at the block but Sehun waves his hands in the air, imitating an ‘X’ with his arms. “You need to say ‘check’ when I call out the food. That’s how they do it at restaurants.” 

“Okay.” Baekhyun forever the obedient child agrees. “Min too?” 

Sehun glances at the bunny plushie in sudden inspection, far too engrossed in his role as some master chef. “He passes the test, so yes.” 

Jongin scoffs at the sudden power-drunk Sehun, he’s almost done with the kimchi stew it just needs to be kept simmering for a few more minutes. He knows Sehun heard him because when he turns to check on the father-son duo Sehun’s face is flushed at being caught too invested in the game. Jongin lets out an easy smirk and that just embarrasses Sehun more, but the single father won’t waver under the sudden attention of an audience. 

“Kimchi?” 

“Check!” Baekhyun yelled excited, holding Min up in the air as if the bunny spoke along with him. Sehun nods in fake approval, checking his imaginary list on the piece of paper. “Check, check, check!” 

“I’m glad you’re a very meticulous chef, Baekhyun.” Sehun compliments, lowering his notebook to his lap. 

“You forgot green onions.” Jongin chimed in the background. 

“We don’t have green onions in our recipe!” Sehun hollered back and leans in towards Baekhyun beckoning him with his finger to come closer and the child does. “Tell him we don’t need green onions. Or his help actually.” 

Baekhyun pulls back with a pout and shakes his head. “Jonginnie helped us.” 

“I know, but we can’t keep feeding his ego.” Sehun shout whispered and Baekhyun furrows his brows in confusion. 

“Baekhyunnie doesn’t understand.” 

Sehun facepalms, he still has a long way to go if he’s going to train the child to be anything but truthful. It might not always be so advantageous, like right now when he wants to win the war of nerves with Jongin. “Fine, fine. Jongin did help us, I take it back.” 

“Green onions?” Baekhyun picks up the green colour block and smiles. “Check!” 

Sehun glares at Jongin who turns his back to them checking on the food but not before raising his brows in victory at Sehun. And Sehun wants nothing more than to dunk Jongin’s face in his stupid stew. 

“Anyway before we got interrupted,” Sehun clears his throat and shaking the plastic bowl to gain Baekhyun’s attention again. “We need to mix the food, do you think you can do it?”

“Yes, yes! Baekhyunnie is good at mixing!” Baekhyun boasted, holding onto his chest for emphasis ready to showcase his talent. His mummy always let him mix when she did have the off-chance at bothering to cook a home meal. 

“Alright, let’s see if you’re as good as you say.” Sehun leans back against the couch, and pulls bunny plushie to his side, propping him on his knee for support. “Min will watch too.” 

Baekhyun starts to throw in all of the colour blocks, and Sehun praises him with each action and the smile on Baekhyun’s face just blooms wider and wider. Their relationship might still be imbalanced but not completely overthrown. 

“It already looks better than Jongin’s, look at all of—“ 

“Come on, let’s eat. The food is done.” Jongin interrupts unbothered, gaining the attention of the pair.

The table is set, and Sehun didn’t realize how hungry he is until he saw the immaculate spread in front of him. Baekhyun springs up, picking up Min the bunny along the way and runs to the table, and Sehun follows him eagerly. Jongin helps seat the toddler properly beside Sehun, as he sits across from them. Sehun starts to scoop himself a big portion of the kimchi stew, and Jongin is a beat too late to warn him.

“Slow down! It’s still really hot!“

“Oh god! That’s burning my tongue!” Sehun yelped, dropping his spoon into his bowl causing a small splatter on the table, as he fans his open mouth resembling a slobbering dog to Jongin than an injured victim. 

Jongin clicks his tongue in displeasure at the sight and stands up. “The kid has better sense than you, you couldn’t be bothered to blow on it? Or wait a couple of seconds?” 

“How am I supposed to know you were trying to burn me!” Sehun answered childishly but stills at the accidental implication. He looks at Jongin in alarm and raises his hands to defend himself. “Jongin I swear I didn’t mean it like that! You know me, it just slipped out and-and I didn’t even notice. I swear!“ 

Jongin stares at the cold bottle of water in his hand and wonders if the blood in his veins has run colder. Jongin hates him for what he’s done, Sehun is still an enemy to Jongin but an enemy he is still very much in love with. These swings from most loved to most hated will be the end of Jongin. He can only understand his feelings if they existed in polar extremes of the axis. Small moments like today make him forget how much Sehun ruined his life and his esteem. With a deep breath, Jongin closes the fridge door and places the bottled water in front of Sehun with an unreadable expression. 

“Yeah…you never did bother to notice anything the doesn’t revolve around you,” Jongin muttered, pouring himself and Baekhyun some of the now-warm stew. 

Sehun sinks in his chair in shame, he had no intention of hurting Jongin. “I really am sorry.” 

Jongin closes his eyes, he doesn’t want to lash out. It’s pointless, counterproductive even. “Just eat the damn food.” 

“Min says he likes the food Jonginnie makes.” Baekhyun cuts the tension, lifting the plushie’s paw in a makeshift thumbs up. 

Sehun nods his head in agreement, picking up the bowl and starts drinking it directly, to show his gratitude to his ex-something. He hates himself for what he’s done to Jongin, he repents his wrongdoings daily and Sehun knows it isn’t enough. He ruined a life. He ruined Jongin’s life. His vision is blurring and Sehun refuses to cry again, he has no right to cry. This is all his fault, what he’s done to Jongin is his own doing, his own will. 

“It’s really good,” Sehun said with a mouthful, holding back his tears.

He pours himself another serving of the stew and starts to gulp it down to keep himself calm and to prove to Jongin that he does appreciate him. _He really fucking does appreciate him._ Sehun doesn’t understand why he can’t seem to control his emotions these past few weeks, but then again nothing these past few makes sense to him. His life has been flipped upside down. A child landed in his care, his entire social circle abandoned him and the person he hurt the most is back in his life. 

“Thank you.” Jongin acknowledged Baekhyun, petting his soft locks glad that the child is enjoying some warm food. 

His eyes shift to Sehun; red-nosed, teary-eyed and blotchy face. It’s easier said than done to decide to want the love of your life back, especially when you hate him most of the time. But the Sehun in front of him, Jongin can’t help but yield to him. It’s draining to always be assertive and on guard, he wants Sehun back, but he can’t help feel idiotic for expecting a different result with him. 

“Will you slow down? You’ll get a stomach-ache!” Jongin scolded yanking the bowl away from Sehun, preventing the latter from possibly drowning himself in stew. “I won’t take care of you if you get sick because you’re rushing! Got it?” 

And yet, Jongin is prepared to be an idiot. 

“Yes..” Sehun murmured faintly, wiping his eyes and nose, restraining his sniffles worried he’ll get scold again.

Jongin focuses his attention back to the toddler trying to not be affected more by Sehun’s pitiful face. Baekhyun’s cheeks were stained with the red kimchi stew but he’s glad that Baekhyun clearly seems to enjoy the flavorful food, his chest swelling with pride. He takes a spoonful of his own dinner and hums satisfied. 

“Do you like daycare, kid?” 

“Yes! This much!” Baekhyun cheered, spreading his arms open on either side of him to emphasis his point. 

“Woah that’s a lot! I’m glad you’re having fun in it.” Jongin chuckled at Baekhyun’s excitement. He’s glad the child is settling down, better than he’d expected to be fair. 

“So much fun. Baekhyunnie wants to go every day!” 

“What’s your favourite part of daycare?” Jongin chatted, and he can’t help but be reminded of Sehun’s smile whenever Baekhyun grinned. Carbon-copies. 

“Dress up! I can be a lion or-or a princess! Sometimes if Jaehoon is a pirate, I’m a policeman.” Baekhyun said with enthusiasm, but his nose scrunches up in displeasure at his last remark. “I don’t like being a policeman.” 

Jongin raises a brow. “Why?” 

“They’re always mean to mummy! We always have to run really, really fast to hide, when we see them! But sometimes we can’t, so mummy sits and laughs, and-and sometimes Baekhyunnie has to wait in the police car for a long time!” Baekhyun complains, biting into a slice of sliced pork. 

Jongin furrows his brows at the new information, while Sehun freezes. The Mina he knew never did any of this, she was never frisky or wild — her curfew was 11 P.M. 

“Why are you waiting in the car for a long time?” Jongin digs in, his dinner forgotten. 

Baekhyun notices the adults stiff postures and he’s anxious that he has said something he shouldn’t have. His mummy always warns him to not say any of their secrets, and he doesn’t want to make her angry when she comes back and finds out what he’s said. She’ll be mean to him, maybe put him in the dark closet because he spoke. So, Baekhyun raises a finger against his lips and shakes his head. “Mummy says it’s a secret.” 

“It’s okay, we won’t tell—“

“Did you show them how you write your name? At the daycare?” Sehun changed the subject abruptly. Because Mina keeps turning into person neither Jongin nor Sehun know, and Sehun doesn’t think he’s ready to hear about her any further. She fucked him over. Baekhyun too apparently, making him tag-along to everything she’s doing around town. 

Jongin looks briefly at Sehun’s troubled face and back to Baekhyun’s and leans back, biting his tongue. Not the place or the time. Especially with the sensitive temperament of both father and son as of late, Jongin would rather not handle any more crying. 

“Oh, yes yes!” 

They continue on eating dinner, keeping the topics heavily revolving Baekhyun and his mischief in the daycare. Something both adults can handle because it’s in the safe zone. Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and neither believe they can handle much more for the night. Until Mina comes back, they’ve still got time to investigate. But right now, isn’t it. 

(—————) 

They all wash up after dinner, and Sehun clumsily helps Baekhyun change into his pyjamas. Even though the little boy was more than capable of changing on his own and stated so several times. Jongin cleaned the dishes and wiped down the table, explaining to Sehun that everything needs to be hygienic because of Baekhyun. They’d all rather not have to visit the ER so early on in this transition. 

Bedtime is evidently a social construct in the Oh household because nightfall arrived long ago but everybody was far too exhausted with today’s events to bother moving a limb. Baekhyun laid on the couch, with his side-kick Min beside him, Sehun sat on the ground resting his back against the couch his coursework on his lap, and Jongin was occupying the single armchair in the far end. A comfortable silence settled over the mismatched trio, all of them watching Baekhyun’s cartoon show absorbed in the storyline. 

But Sehun’s eyes kept drifting over at Jongin in the far end. Jongin said he’ll leave right after dinner, after writing down a timetable for Sehun and Baekhyun to follow but he hasn’t done either yet. Sehun pinches himself to keep his thoughts from going astray with Jongin and his motives. He’s just glad Jongin hasn’t abandoned him, and he is in no rush to make Jongin leave. Which is why he needs to be more honest with Jongin after all Jongin told him if he ever needed to vent he’s more than welcome to come to him. 

“I…” Sehun trails off, avoiding Jongin’s forever intense gaze as he clicks his pen uncomfortably. “I went to a Daddy and Me meeting today.” 

Jongin perks up at the new information, the final puzzle to the piece. “Is that why you broke down today?” 

“I just…when I looked at them, it was a terrifying mirror. Like I didn’t want that, I didn’t want to be some middle-aged guy going to these depressing meetings talking about my problems. It was so scary.” Sehun blurred out. 

Jongin’s calm presence was enough reassurance that he wouldn’t be mocked for his most intimate thoughts. Jongin always gave him that security, in the past Jongin was the only one that could pull Sehun out of his fake bravado. Just like now. 

“Did you not find it helpful? At all?” Jongin asked softly, shifts in his seat turning his body towards Sehun the cartoons were forgotten. 

Sehun runs his hand through his hair and sighs. “I don’t know. I wanted to see what I could to do to make things easier for Baekhyun and me. I just…I hated being the odd one out, even though I wasn’t? Not technically anyway? I felt like I was going to my first day of school and I’m the new kid. It was that kind of feeling.” 

“I get that,” Jongin reassured. He tilts his head up to the ceiling, he’s too shy to even look in Sehun’s direction to what he’s going to say next. “I’m proud of you. You took that step all alone and did it with good intentions. You wanted to be better. That’s the important thing.” 

Sehun’s heart flipped in a manner he hasn’t felt in such a long time. The rush of affection ran through him like a newly injected antibiotic. Jongin complimented him, without being prompted either. Sehun heard fancier words, but nothing can compare to Jongin’s raw honesty. Nothing can compare to Jongin. 

Thank you.” Sehun croaked, pretending that his reddened ears aren’t red and his heartbeats aren’t quickening. 

Jongin clears his throat embarrassed and pretends to check his phone for the time, but he was in no rush to leave. But after his mini confession, he wanted to rip open the ground. 

“We need to do the timetable, so I can go. I have my own assignments to finish as well.” Jongin lied. He needed to get away from Sehun and his stupid goofy smile he’s flashing him right now, as he rushes to sit on the armchair squeezing himself beside Jongin. 

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!” 

Sehun tends to act before he fully thinks through, like now. He has forced himself to sit on the single armchair half-sitting on Jongin’s lap and half-sitting on the chair. They were too close, too close for their current nature. They stare at each other for what seemed like hours but it was mere seconds until Sehun dropped his gaze to the notebook in his hand. He can’t get up and move, he’ll make it too obvious. He needs to prove to Jongin that they can’t be more than friends, so this might be good practice for both of them to function as merely friends. Only friends. 

“So, the timetable.” Sehun’s voice is much quieter, less sure. 

Jongin yanks the notebook from Sehun’s grip, flipping it to a blank white sheet and starts to draw and write, trying to keep himself under control. 

“Okay, you need to make a daily schedule for you and Baekhyun. This means your college classes, his daycare hours, your job and all the in-between. Which includes activities to do, where it’s going to the park or….” Sehun tunes out Jongin’s voice, he’s too enchanted by his features. 

Sehun nods at words he can’t fathom, but his eyes keep travelling back up to Jongin’s face, a gentle flush of pink has arisen in Jongin's cheeks that made him look a lot less intimidating, regardless of his furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. Sehun bites back a smile at how endearing Jongin can be sometimes, even when he doesn’t know it. Sehun leans in a little closer, missing the familiarity they shared. _I miss you._

“Hey, are you fucking listening to me? I’m not repeating myself if you don’t know something.” 

Maybe the fatigue of today is influencing his decisions, but Sehun cannot bear another second of not touching Jongin. He slams his lips against Jongin’s, his hand drifting to secure Jongin’s hip pulling him even closer. Jongin’s mind has gone hazy; his body motionless at the sensation of their lips locking. Warmth, warmth, warmth. Jongin doesn’t feel the icy cold running through his blue veins any longer, it was wild as a forest fire. Jongin was losing himself in the moment, so he pulls out in a panic, abruptly standing up and creating a distance between them. He’d been too careless, he needed to control himself. 

Sehun also seemed to snap out of whatever spell he’d been under a few seconds ago, touching his own lips, where the warmth radiates off them. “Jongin, I just l-lost myself in the moment, I promise—“ 

“We’re both delirious from today! It’s fine! Whatever, even!” Jongin yelped out, totally thrown off his element. He should be happy that Sehun kissed him, but he’s more bothered that Sehun apologized and how quick he himself was to lose control. He can’t be that easy, not like before. He needed to prove to himself that he won’t be the lovesick dog that trails after Sehun, waiting for affection to be given in his way. 

“So goodnight!” Jongin wrapped up stiffly, yanking his bag from the ground and shoving his feet into his shoes ungracefully and runs out clutching his jacket in his arm. 

Sehun stares at the closed door in bewilderment. “…Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show the dynamics of the three of them alone, without any precautions or needs. Just domestic, yknow? I wanted to showcase the flow of awkward and familiar between Sehun and Jongin because one minute they cling to each other for emotional strength, and then the next minute it's back to strangers and distance. + I wanted to focus more on Jongin's perspective and his current mindset. ♥
> 
> If you ever wanna chat or are too shy to comment on here this is my Twitter is:@GlazedDounut72
> 
> ~ ♡ All I ask in return for writing is commenting. That's it ♡ ~
> 
> I'm not asking for a full book report (although that would be MARVELOUS) I'm just asking to be paid with your thoughts, opinions, and feedback.
> 
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.  
> 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing has been proof-read, I'll do so when I have time. 
> 
> 1) Thank you for taking the time to read my fic.  
> 2) I hope you enjoyed it, if not sorry to disappoint you.  
> 3) Please leave a comment! It is a writer's fuel.


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